The hardest thing about depression for me is showing up for myself. That’s all it is. (Its really not but I’m being dramatic) Just being tired enough of the same old thing, till we get support. The cost for help sometimes is weird. Most people in U.S. have debt, school loans, taxes, medical bills, life bills, gas, it’s just robotic. They don’t want humans The want robotics. Who can’t show up everytime ready. But I’m just human, I want to lay in water and float(eyes closed) drifting to better. If there was a survey for everyone in the world who’s tired and on the last leg. The government would distribute some drugs for that and then they’d say those who “qualify” are eligible for low cost mental health care, at only $200 annually.
When you work, I feel like everyday off, is spider to be break. I don’t want to have to show up for anyone let alone myself. The floor is hard and cold and my bed is the one thing that’s mine. My bed hugs me, wraps me in warmth, takes away my back pain and loves me through the rain. So I don’t want to get up unless I have to. My bed supports my head and heart. It holds me up when I’m low. Why should I leave my bed. Its just me. I’m tired so I don’t like getting up. I keep trying to catch the sun but it moves from me. The sun only likes the light. And I’m cold and dark. But really life’s just put all its weight on me. I can barely move, let alone drop these weights off. I miss the sunshine, playing in the rain, but life isn’t no fairytale. And I got to get ready for the day, week, work, bills, and other people. People who don’t accept me. People who can’t see their own mental deficits because they been in lala land so long they actually think this is normal. I hate seeing people who can have better selling for so much less. It’s like watching a bird try to crawl to get food. Soon there won’t be any place for people. Being realistic here, we’re going to have more robotics and electronics soon. So this of us who can’t get with the program might not have a bench or bright to sleep under. You now the government hates the homeless because it’s reminds them of all their faults and mistakes. It shows that they don’t care. I been here for a short time but I’m tired enough for a lifetime already.
Anybody know, why getting up is so hard?
