Should I change my area of work?

[Pippa49]

Something happened at work this week won't go into details suffice to say it has dented my self confidence. I am now wondering if I should change the type of work. Only trouble is I don't want to work weekends and would ideally like the same hours I do now. My MIL said that because some employers are desperate for staff that they have to consider flexible working. I disagree. She also said that they will train on the job which I also disagree with. Also do you have to ask your current employer for a reference? Someone I know didn't.

[AlMorr Half Marathon]

Hi Pippa49, not sure why you posted your "work experience" on this site, as it's not really anything to do with running, however, we are a friendly lot here on Healthunlocked and like to give advice as much as we can, my advice would be that perhaps you could go to a work related community on Healthunlocked for better advice regarding your work. 😊

[Pippa49 Half Marathon in reply to AlMorr]

OK sorry I didn't realise there was a work related community. I will cut and paste my post there.

[Tbae Metric Marathon]

Hi Pippa 49,

Your question is both broad reaching and detailed.

A working environment should enhance your self esteem not dent your confidence.

It should be mutually rewarding and a flexible experience of continuous improvement for all.

Life is too short, not to be happy and work is a big part of it.

Hope you find what you are looking for, but keep what you have until you do.

Atb with everything including your running and the magic forum.

👊💥🏃‍♀️🌟👏👏

[Pippa49 Half Marathon in reply to Tbae]

Thank you. I was advised to post on a work related community on Health Unlocked but can't find any?

[Tbae Metric Marathon in reply to Pippa49]

Hi Pippa49,

I see that.

I do not think there is one.

HealthUnlocked have 700 communities around the world on medical and health conditions and wellness support.

Although very important also to your well being , your interest falls into the area of Human Resources and much, much more.

Your friends, family, co-workers, your confidantes will help you together with your own life experience and sound ghut feelings.

Nobody knows you better than you and what makes you happy.

Destroying anyone’s self confidence is not what it is about and you already know that.

Be cool, calm, chilled , patient and collected, enjoy your running and this magic forum, and you will prevail believe it and believe in you.

Every good wish.

👊💥🏃‍♀️🌟👏👏💫

[Pippa49 Half Marathon in reply to Tbae]

Thanks. It is atm affecting my running mojo but I will sort it out on Monday.

[Tbae Metric Marathon in reply to Pippa49]

Hi Pippa49,

I do not know your running journey and story.

But I certainly have the interest to take a look.

You know you made the best decision of your life for your health when you became a runner.💥🌟👏👏

I have no doubts it is a destructive force, but you and your running gods and this magic forum will prevail.

Anyone who has not given themselves the gift of running cannot possibly understand someone who has.🤔

Take good care of yourself and I know you will get sorted.

Onwards and upwards.

👊💥🏃‍♀️🌟👏👏💫🔥

[Pippa49 Half Marathon in reply to Tbae]

Thank you. I started with c25k, did three sprint triathlons then just concentrated on the running. I did my first half marathon in Swansea last June (doing it again this year), followed by the Cardiff Half. I have done two half marathons this year and almost half of the Brighton Marathon. I am currently training for the Swansea Half marathon with the ultimate aim of doing the Yorkshire Marathon on 20th October two weeks after Cardiff Half on 6th October. I have entered the ballot for London next year but if I dont get in I will be doing the Brighton Marathon again (have already entered) but if I do I will defer Brighton Marathon to 2021 unless I decide to get a refund before the 15th July. Running is the only thing I have that keeps me going.

[Tbae Metric Marathon in reply to Pippa49]

Thank you Pippa49.Wow that is impressive.👊💥🏃‍♀️

I looked quickly at a couple of your two recent posts on lack of job satisfaction and being treated like an absolutely beginner in your running.🤔

Just let it all wash over you Pippa49,self belief,Humans are not limited,🤔 says the greatest marathon runner the world has ever seen,EK.

By the way I live in the North of your country.🤔On Anglesey.

Love your last line❤️,cling to it Pippa49 and the magic forum,

I understand and know that special feeling.

Did not take up running until my 75th year and I sure am not going to die on the couch.

It is one of my life’s greatest pleasures to go trotting and be a member of this magic forum.

It does not get any better than this and for the rest that have not given themselves this gift yet, well I hope they find it one day.

Keep on keeping on Pippa49.Go you.

👊💥🏃‍♀️🌟👏👏🔥☄️

[Flyingred 10 Miles]

I can appreciate how this work issue is affecting your wellbeing and your running. It depends on the nature of what happened, whether it relates to a personality clash or issues about your capability, however, in most organisations there's a third party channel (HR/staff welfare/etc) where you can seek help. Most employers are very sensitive to bullying and constructive dismissal matters so it may be worth pursuing your employer's grievance process (if that's appropriate). Generally, if you are skilled, competent, reliable and have good attendance, a reasonable employer would wish to retain you and would also be concerned that something has happened in the workplace that has affected how you feel.

When I've been under (incredible) stress with work, my recourse has been physical activity (first walking, now running) and I have also benefited from mindfulness (the free version of Headspace app is a good starting place) to de-stress.

As for changing the type of work you do, so much depends on the skills you have, whether other employers are recruiting locally and the local labour supply. Generally, it's better to plan your exit by applying for jobs and accepting the offer that's best for you. And yes, prospective employers normally take up references before confirming offers and weight is given to the current employer's reference.

I hope things work out for you.

[Tbae Metric Marathon in reply to Flyingred]

So very on the money, Flyingred.

Brillant.

👊💥🏃‍♂️🌟👏👏💥

[Sandyw]

Hi, not sure if it helps but regarding the reference there is no law that says you must ask current employer for a reference. In some sectors such as education or health there will be government or local policies which will say they must. Also in reality most reasonable sized employers will always ask for current employee. If it helps I see a lot of people worry about what reference will be given but there is still a large percentage that just confirm dates of service and nothing else. Many jobs will give flexible working and on the job training so MIL maybe right, always worth looking.

[Pippa49 Half Marathon]

Thanks. One of my colleagues didn't ask our current line manager for a reference and under the circumstances if I was to get another job now I wouldn't want to put her as a referee.

[Oldfloss Administrator in reply to Pippa49]

Just be prepared if you do go for another job and interview to say why you have not put the Line manager as a referee, if asked... be totally honest and state the reasons. Any prospective employee will respect and respond to that.

These links may be helpful as this of course, as you know is a running related forum

citizensadvice.org.uk/work/...

acas.org.uk/index.aspx?arti...

[Tbae Metric Marathon in reply to Oldfloss]

Fabulous Floss Fabulous Forum ❤️👊💥🏃‍♀️🌟👏👏

[Pippa49 Half Marathon]

Thanks.

[grumpyoldgirl in reply to Pippa49]

What oldfloss said. Don't stay somewhere that's making you so unhappy. Start looking around and see what else is out there, you've got nothing to lose by looking. 💐

[Pippa49 Half Marathon in reply to grumpyoldgirl]

Thanks. I am looking but finding the hours and days I work is difficult. I work Monday to Wednesday only. So Thursday and Friday I do what I want, running group, swim, meet my mum for coffee etc. Been doing it for nearly two years so don't want to give it up.

[GoGo_JoJo Ultramarathon]

Think about what you'd like to do, what you can do and how to get what you want... ie the hours etc. Also how to get the most reward, aside from money back.

Is there a competitor in the same industry you could look at who would need the same skills and be fairly easy to transfer to or would you like a new challenge?

It's soul destroying to stay somewhere that is making you unhappy, I know it all too well having been caught in that situation more than once.

Good luck whatever you decide 🤞

I also understand why you chose to pose your question here and I think the majority are more than happy to discuss off topic issues 👍😉

[Irish-John Marathon]

Most places these days, if you drop dead your Job Opening will be printed before your Obituary.

There's no such thing as the "perfect" job - but there are "better" ones.

I've never regretted quitting "too soon" but man do I kick myself for hanging on in some places hoping "it'll be back to being good again sooner or later".

It never does....

Hope you find something better, best wishes.

[Hillrunner2201 Marathon]

Running has kept me going through a messy restructure at work so I totally understand where you are coming from. A few years ago I worked in a horrible place with a horrible bullying manager. I was so bad I very nearly walked out one day. It really knocked by confidence which affected by interview performance so it took several interviews before I was offered a job elsewhere. The new job wasn’t ideal but it gave me time to build my confidence back and move on to something better. Use the belief in yourself you need to run long distance to believe you can move on from your job.

[Pippa49 Half Marathon]

Thanks Hillrunner2201. I feel trapped as I am not going to apply for a job that doesn't have the hours I have now and I have been unable to find anything anyway.