Lazy or Lupus or depression - LUpus Patients Un...

LUpus Patients Understanding and Support

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Lazy or Lupus or depression

Whathappned profile image

I cant decide! I cant be bothered. Hiding upstairs in bedroom. Both kids home now and expecting a loving caring mum. Am I just Lazy, selfish, self centred - probably.

17 Replies

Hi I was diagnosed February 14, 2014 was going thru same thing we get depressed , lonely and scared and ask why us. But the best thing is we need them and enjoy every moment with them and live your life to fullest. Because we are scared. But i relize we need are kids will help us get thru the hard time and let them know what you are going thru so they understand.

Whathappned profile image
Whathappned in reply to

Thank you. It means a lot just now to get these reply's something to give me a boost. I love my kids but I find it hard a times. My 11 year old is a real chatter box and I find I need quiet when I am like this and she doesnt do quiet!!!!

Chrissy53 profile image
Chrissy53 in reply to

I was in such a depressed two weeks on Tuesday my mind told me to take 32 paracetamols.

I had no control and I have never done this before. So after telling my church friends they all came down and phoning the ambulance I was put on a drip for 3 days to clear the toxins from my body. I was violently sick with bloods and toxins. I couldn't even walk to the bathroom. The nurses and psychiatrist were all lovely and supportive. Now I have to get better if not for myself then for my grand children. I deserve not to hurt my family with depression now. I will fight this. God bless.

Dimpled1 profile image
Dimpled1 in reply to Chrissy53

May I be so bold as to ask you to phone theSamaritans next time you feel this way? They are wonderful, non judgemental and they even have a buddy system.

Talking to a caring stranger who is trained to listen is the better option.

I never took the tablets, but I wanted to. Samaritans saved my life.

They won't ask your name, address and you only tell them what you want.

Call them any time, they never close. X

No u neither u are just tired beyond believe ..this heat will not be helping .so please dont think like that .stay postive its not easy ...

Thank you. I am finding the heat unbearable. I'm sweating so much, like a lot of lupies its out of control normally but at the minute its mad. I think thats why I stay upstairs if I open he bedroom windows at each side of the room I get a brill breeze. Plus he body aches less lying on the bed. Trying to keep positive x

Atibrat profile image

you are probably very tired. I used to wonder the same thing and usually only have energy when taking prednisone. I do not think it would help if it was lazy or depression. I was diagnosed in 2010 and tired it's just part of who I am now. all we can do is the best we can we did not ask for this.

Whathappned profile image
Whathappned in reply to Atibrat

Thank you. I had a steroid injection a while a go and felt better from it but it has worn off now. I was trying to see how things went before my OPA next week. I was started on methotrexate and I dont think its kicked in yet. Been getting flatter in mood for some time now. I saw my GP last week and he agreed with me that I should put my antidepressant up to 40mg again. Doesn't look like I will ever get off those. We decided to go away this weekend in the tourer to a local camp site. I plan on doing nothing and I wont have to look at all the housework I can't manage at the minute. x

Atibrat profile image

My Rheumatologist has talked about Imuran but I am doing fair on 2.5 MG of prednisone. I have not been able to get completely off since a bad flare up last September. he said as long as I can keep dose low I can continue. if I try to get completely all I do is sleep and the muscle and joint pain is horrible.he still would like to see my energy get up though. I will be 52 next month and up until five years ago I was always on the go and a clean freak but I just can't do it anymore. how long have you been on the methotrexate? I am also on 75 milligrams of Effexor.

Whathappned profile image
Whathappned in reply to Atibrat

I have been on them 3 months (I think) and only 5/6 weeks at the dose I am on now. I was told by my consultant that she thought this was a good option due to my foot and knee aches. There is no changes in the shape of my joints and I only get the tiniest amount of swelling in my feet and calves. Its generally only me who can tell due to the tightness of the ankles and calf (like your wearing a sock). I see my consultant next Wednesday so I will see what she says. I always feel a fake as I look and hear about other people and see how much worse they are and think I should get on with things. Like you, I was always on the go. I helped with the heavy part of the alterations on this house. I did all the painting from top (3 floors) to bottom and then this hit. I go around with my eyes closed. It will never be finished as my husband is always working as he is a plumber and works for himself. Maybe when the kids get a couple of yeas older I can bribe them. Cant afford to pay anyone, especially if this keeps effecting my energy to go to work. But then they wont do the edging right lolx

lupus-support1 profile image

I do not think you are lazy, selfish or self-centred. These are very severe criticisms of yourself!

Your emotions are understandable and in my experienced shared by many people whom I am sure are able to identify with you.

The inflammatory process can cause depression, but it can also be the result of an understandable reaction to having lupus. You are no longer able to do what you once was able to do. You can no longer do what you want to do and when you want to do it. You want to be able to care for your children, look after their needs, play with them and do all the kinds of things "normal" mothers do, except you can't.

Perhaps you also feel shame and guilt?

LUpus Patients Understanding & Support (LUPUS) specialise in these psychological aspects of lupus which is not usually dealt with by our doctors. If you or other people here would like some further information, you can contact me here: roz [at] [lupus-support] [dot] [org] [dot] [uk]

Wit good wishes,


Thank you Ros I would appreciate that.

Your probably, exhausted! Being a parent and trying to live with lupus is a mammoth task. Just make sure you communicate how you feel with everyone or you may be given the lazy label. Depression may well be a factor given the can't be bothered remark. Speak to your GP

Hi there, haven't posted much, but reading how you all feel, I can relate to this. I am tired constantly, especially with the heat. Yet again this week muscle and joints are aching. I take hydroxychlorquine and 5mg predisnolone, also 50mg amitriptyline at night. Possibly my tiredness at the moment is due to the fact I have over done things these last few weeks. We have had an extension built and they are just completing the kitchen. I was up till late last night filling the cupboards and over the weekend we traveled from our home in Yorkshire to Surrey on Saturday and back on Monday as we had a family wedding to attend. So after 6hours traveling there and back and didn't sleep properly in hotel not done me much good. Everything I do is a chore to me and I would rather be in bed at times than doing anything. I know how you feel when you ask if you are lazy, I feel like that and with a son at 25 you would think he'd help a little bit more, but I can feel very guilty if I've prepared no tea for him and his girlfriend when he comes in from work, but then they have usually had their meal and put dirty pots on the side leaving them for me to wash as hubby is at work until 10pm. My son has 2 days off during the week, but does very little around the house for us. One thing though now after the kitchen was fitted last week we also had a dish washer installed so thankfully, no more dirty dishes for me to wash at 10pm. Today I have rested more and am shortly away to bed and guess what don't feel guilty or lazy, so neither should you.

Why are we taking immune depressants when there is new evidence to show alternative remedies are out there? I am looking into Stem Cell Recearch which erradicates cancer and such illness from our bodies. Can anyone advice.

This is an old post but so relatable. My children are grown now unlike these original posters. I didn’t have a diagnosis Yet… well fibromyalgia yes. Anyway this is a

Mind battle. When I’m very tired, no matter what time of day, I have to sleep. It’s gotten better in the last year/fatigue. I’m

Not sure I suffer from full blown depression

But I do know that with my illness and some family members’ causing great stress

It’s been a sad time in last 2 years. I’m re posting this to try and understand myself just like the original poster. Also. I do get lazy in the summer. The heat and humidity

For 5 months out of the year slays me. Thx

In advance for your response

Updating, boosting old post!

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