Really worried about my fiancé has he got cancer?

He started of by having a really bad cough before christmas it didn't go for at least 2 months. he dosent smoke and he's always been fit and healthy I'm a smoker. we live together and i smoked around him now we moved somewhere else i don't smoke in the house. about a month ago he was getting out of breath a lot even just by walking up the stairs. he went to the doctors and got signed of work for 2 weeks and hes now got asthma. he went back to the doctors checked he's breathing and its not how it should be so was given a stronger pump also on satturday we have to go to the hospital to have test as there are lumps. he's not telling me a lot and I'm really worried and he docent want to talk about it he tells me not to worry it could even not be cancer it could be cysts or other things. he's been really weird this weekend normally constant high sex drive he said he hasn't had the urge. he stomach seems quiet weak aswell as when i do dinner he had diaroheaa every night this weak. he text me today as i keep asking him what wrong and he said he scared and ill. feels sick and weak, I'm really worried :(

8 Replies

  • Hi Danielle. It's obviously a concern, but I guess there could be many reasons for the problems, and not necessarily cancer related. I'm no medic, so obviously don't know, but I would suggest you keep trying to discuss the problems with your man, telling him that it's affecting your life as well as his. From personal experience, I can assure you that sharing this kind of concern with each other is a huge benefit and comfort to both.

    Best wishes, Bill

  • thanks for answering my question bill. yes i think he's scared what the results will be after saturday. i just get worried when i hear the word lump. i hope there are other reasons for this problem than cancer i just don't see what else it could be. thanks.

  • Hi Danielle

    I agree with Bill, communication between you is extremley important, keep talking as you both need support. Despite your anxiety try to be gentle with your questioning as he is obviously afraid and probably thinking the same as you. The positive thing is he is going to the hospital quite soon although waiting for answers is very difficult. Bill is right as there may well be other explanations for what is happening. Keep talking and do let us know how things are going. You are in my thoughts, take care. Joanna xx

  • Hi Joanna thank you, yes he probably is thinking the same as me i didn't look at it like that. please could you tell me if you know what else it could be? or does it sound like it is cancer? xx

  • Hi Danielle

    When so much is happening it isn't easy to see everything and that is sometimes why speaking to us might help a little. There are various signs and symptoms Danielle but as we always point out it may not always be so cut and dried i.e. it could be something other than cancer. The main thing is that he is seeking help in the right place, the medical experts. This may not be too helpful as I think you are feeling anxious for answers and unfortunately we cannot give you any.

    You sound as if you need to talk about all of this and perhaps you could try and find someone who can help you to do this. Rather than worry frantically and become more upset, sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust could alleviate some of your fear. Stress is not going to do either of you any good and you need strength to manage the situation. Family and good friends might help although someone outside your immediate circle would be good. If you think you want to go down this route perhaps have a word with your GP, he/she might be able to point you in the right direction. I am very sorry not to give you all the answers but try and get through the week and please ask for help if you want to talk things through this upsetting time. Take care Danielle, thinking of you both.

    Joanna xx

  • ok thank you for your answer joanna. i will let use no how everything goes and if i need to ask anymore questions. take care

  • Danielle,

    I know this is an anxious time but he has done the right thing in seeking help and he is in the system now having the tests. I have to agree with everything Bill and Joanna has said the 'not knowing' one way or the other is the worst thing as you just jump to every conclusion imaginable. I don't want to worry you but what I will add is to persevere, if he doesn't 'feel right' keep going back and telling them so, its the only way to get the right diagnosis. Please keep in touch with us, (it probably helps some just to talk to us on here) and let us know what is happening.

    Both of you take care.

    Lyn x

    ps. lumps where?

  • hi lyn thanks for your answer. can't wait to get the test over and done with so we can find out. the lumps are in the throat and the entry to the lungs.

    danielle x

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