My Care My Way Form

[Tike3]

Has anyone been given this form to complete by Macmillan, I have not completed it because it seems to be about your wishes when you die and my oncologist is planning treatment for me, has here been a mistake, or is it normal procedure. Its depressing

[Denzie]

When first diagnosed I filled out paper telling the hospital and my care givers what treatment I would and would not accept. Also, papers stating I don’t want to be resuscitated. Is it something like that?

I chose not to be resuscitated because when they do it on people my age, they often break break ribs and the rib penetrated the lung collapsing it. It can take many years to recover.

Is that the mind of thing they are asking about?

[Tike3 in reply to Denzie]

Hello Denzie Hope you are well.

Yes it is. I've had for many years on my medical notes that I don't want to be resuscitated.

This is a form asking me about my wishes. Who my spokesperson is, do I want to share information, how is my health, and what's most important to me, who helps me cope, am I spiritual and hopes for the future, if I became ill would I go in a hospice.

I'm atheist so I wouldn't want a funeral.

I just think it's a bit prior when my consultant is considering treatment.

Thanks for you interest and support Denzie

Love Pam

xx

[Denzie in reply to Tike3]

Do let them know who your spokesperson is though. Too many fights have broken families apart when the spouse wants something different from the children or a living parent.

There was a saying a while back, “You Do You”.

I’m grateful to read that your doctor is still looking at treatment.

[Tike3 in reply to Denzie]

Hello Denzie iHope you are well

I'm quite poorly with a terrible chest don't you know how long I've got. Doctor says it's a chest infection and I'll get over it, seems like the end so I'll say my goodbye you have been such a good friend and supportive.

All my love to you

Pam

Xxxx

[Beatless]

Tike, It's a standard NHS, Respect procedure, they want people not to be resuscitated makes it easy if complications. If you have said you don't want to be brought back to life they will carry out this wish for a peaceful death.

[Tike3 in reply to Beatless]

Thanks Beatless Don't know why I'm getting so worked up about it I've had on my medical records for a,while now that I don't want to be resuscitated

Thanks for your support

Pam

[RoyCastleHelpline Partner Ask the Nurse Roy Castle]

Dear Pam

There is some comprehensive information on this form from Macmillan support which you can find on this link: macmillan.org.uk/cancer-inf...

If you do not have any Power of Attorney in place for your health care, then these forms can be useful for those looking after you to know if you would like medical interventions if you become seriously unwell, or what care you would like in the future.

It is great that you will be having treatment and having been given this form does not mean that you are near end of life, some people prefer to complete the form whilst they are well and able to make decisions about their health care.

It is understandable that it can offend or upset some people and it is a personal decision whether to fill the form in or not.

If you would like to discuss anything you can email ask the nurse at [e-mail] or call our free phone nurse led helpline number on 0800 358 7200 Monday to Thursday 0900-1700 and Friday 0900-1600

Kind regards

The Roy Castle Support Team

[Elt79]

I’ve never seen one or been given one of these.

[magstherunner]

As an ex social worker and having seen close relatives not having the power to make decisions about their loved ones, or disagreements break out, my advice is to make a Power of Attorney for your health and welfare decisions as well as an end of life statement. I know its a faff but you will feel better once you have it and you can wrap that one up and put it away until its needed. Oh, and make sure your GP has a copy.Keep on keeping on folks. Mags x

[JanetteR57]

Sorry to learn of your upset and sounds as if the form wasn't explained properly. It can feel distressing - my consultant at my first meeting told me of likely treatment and also how some people might die in surgery - he said he had to tell me that by law. Having never got around to sorting out a will and scaring myself to death at the time by googling (2010) in the 2 weeks between seeing him and having major lung surgery, I went and sorted out a will. The lawyer explained about power of attorney in the case that something might go wrong in the surgery so I did that at the same time. The latter forms were never lodged with the authorities but are still with the lawyer in the event that they are needed, they could be quickly instigated. I'm thankful that we arranged a PoA for my parents as my mum has dementia and if something happens to my dad (one of her PoAs), one of my sisters and her husband also hold that - as she is unable to look after herself and her affairs.

Having lost both my in-laws suddenly and unexpectedly 20 or so years ago and my younger sister (40) in 2001 and her oldest daughter in 2019 - none of whom had a will in place or anything about their wishes, from experience, it made things quite hard to sort out, not knowing what they would have wanted.

Last year I attended a virtual funeral for a former colleague and not only had he planned the whole service, he'd even prepared a reading and the music - he'd had prostate cancer for years and thought it would ease any awkwardness for his sons and family.

We're all different but I have a strange sense of comfort knowing that my parents not only wrote their will but also prepaid their funerals and set out their wishes many years ago so when the time comes, hopefully family members can follow them.

Having read the link, it seems good sense to me but it can sometimes be hard to see through the intention when we're in a vulnerable position such as diagnosis or treatment.

take care.