Hello everyone, its just Jules here, on behalf of mum (and now me)
Sorry I have been gone so long, life is surrounding me, things aren't great - but I know some of you lovely people have more on their plate than me.
Mums stage 4 cancer as you know and has spent the last 10 days in a hospice (its St Oswalds in Gosforth Newcastle upon Tyne - what a fantastic team of staff and facilities, and its a private charity). I REALLY don't want mum to end her days there, no matter how good the place is, I want her back living with me at home with my husband. But shes is so much pain and the cancer seems to be effecting her behaviour now, mums become very sharp and cold - that's not the true mum. Shes started trying to walk by herself (heading for the exit sign) and yesterday she had a fall in the bathroom at the hospice. Thankfully she doesn't seem to have injured herself. The situation is causing a real sharp pain in my heart, I never knew life was going to end like this.
To top things, its me now that has been selected by the powers that be to be frightened by cancer. The GP refered me to hospital last week. This morning (in a few hours I go for a scan and a biopsy is booked for 14th November) - possible bladder cancer after finding blood in my pee.
I am sure it will be nothing, everyone is telling me so - but you know the strange thing is I almost want to 'go' when mum 'goes'.. I just don't want her to take that journey all alone.
Sorry to ramble, my head is like a washing machine again.
Anybody in a similar boat/awke for a chat?