Unhappy

[Littleannies]

So 6 months after diagnosis And 4 months after treatment of radiotherapy and chemo I should be happy that tumour has shrunk and things have been stable, but I'm not I'm becoming very withdrawn from myself and family, I don't know if I'm pretending to be happy or ignoring being depressed I think I need counselling but so scared of everything

[stewart58]

Hi Littleannies,

Your life has been turned upside down in the last 6 months.If you think about it the shock of your diagnosis was followed by radiotherapy and chemotherapy,your body will still be recovering from the trauma that has caused.Since then you have been told that your tumour has shrunk and is stable so you have that on your mind.

Please do not be too hard on yourself for feeling down,after the last 6 months you are entitled to be worried.I would take any help I could get if I thought it would help so why not try counselling if you think it can help.I really hope things become easier for you.

Stewart

[Littleannies in reply to stewart58]

Thank u for your reply Stewart I hope it dose come easier for me.

[Bow-19]

I think it's understandable that you are feeling how you are given what you have been through. I felt low and discussed this with my GP and Macmillan Nurse. They both recommended that I took a low dose of anti depressants and that has really helped. They took a couple of weeks to kick in but since then I have felt a lot better. It is worth you discussing how you feel with your GP or another health professional to see what they have to offer you. I would imagine that your GP will have supported people in a similiar situation to yourself in the past.

I never thought that I would take anti depressants before I started this journey but they have helped me.

Best wishes x

[Littleannies]

Thank u for your reply bow I will talk to my doctor and bare that in mind.

[Hidden]

Hi ,you know what I think you have every right to feel like this when you consider all the treatment you have had etc lifestyle changes and all because cancer has visited .I have one more round of mop up chemo my oncologist has already warned me that feeling low may happen once you reach 3months after chemo etc and the general interest from others has quietened down somewhat .If you need counselling go to your local McMillan centre they do offer it ,maybe you may need someone just to chat at about negative thoughts .Sometimes putting on a brave front is just exhausting .Don't feel too bad I am sure that this negative time will pass and I think you are not alone at this point .I expect I will be just the same as you sending you a big hug and don't beat yourself up I am sure its just part of the healing process.

[Lainey3615]

Hi Littleannies

I think most of us have been there at one point or another and it is a horrible feeling. I spoke to my GP and Clinical Nurse Specialist who referred me to a psychologist and although reluctant at first it has been my saving grace. Take all the help you can get and as others have said do not be too hard on yourself. Cancer is a life changing illness and none of us come out of this journey as we were before we started it.

Sending you huge hugs and hope you feel better soon. Just remember take it one day at a time and it will get better. Plus if you feel like a rant or whatever we are all here to help you.

Love and hugs Elaine xxx 💛

[Deb1801]

Hi

I have just read your post out to my partner, who is the one with SCLC. His tumour has shrunk and has been stable since January. He totally relates to your post. He says that it just feels like living a sentence waiting for it to wake up again. That its mind consuming and hard to think about anything else. From my point of view he has withdrawn from us and has days when he is very low however, as I am sure your family feel - it doesn't matter we are there for him regardless. I have tried to get him to have counselling but it's not his way. I cannot truly understand how you or my partner really feel however I think how you feel is normal and I tell my partner daily not to be so hard on himself. xxxxx

[Hidden]

Hi littleannies, sounds like things are really getting you down and I really feel for you as you have the two young lads to think about, but in your first post you said you would fight this and we are all here to help you do that. I'm also 7 months on from a second diagnosis of lung cancer and also have just finished chemo and radiotherapy and I spend most nights thinking about my cancer and where and when this is all going to end, but each morning I wake up and start afresh and set myself targets for the week. I also can't or won't try to think to far into the future but I do allow myself to dram about seeing my new grandkids next January and February, then hopefully my 65th birthday next May so I can claim the pension that I have worked all,these years for.

Who knows what will happen perhaps there will be long term chemo maintenance or new trial drugs that will come along and keep us going for longer than we dare dream. But for just now I try and take things as they come and for me a sleeping pill 2 or 3 times a week helps give me some relief and energy to carry on.

Please try and enjoy the summer holidays with your family and don't be afraid to ask your GP for help in any way.

Keep fighting

Rab.

[Littleannies in reply to Hidden]

Yes rabbie I did say I would fight but it's slowly getting me down as I didn't really get the seriousness of the the disease as it affect my everyday life like excercise and swimming even holidays abroad it's always there in your face in one way or another that is what started to get me down. Maybe I just need someone like u to give me something to believe in. And I will enjoy my holidays thank you

[Myquest]

Laughter is the best medicine!!!! Watch some wonderful, funny movies. Read an uplifting book. Try not to isolate yourself and let people around you know how you feel. My husband did start taking an antidepressant. It has been working very well for him. I would suggest, as others have, that you consult with your doctor. Also, a friend of mine said it helped her to occasionally just to go outside and scream! It is easy to hide away but it does not help. Involve yourself with things that would normally make you smile. Tomorrow is another day, my dear. The best to you and your family. Affectionatey, Barbara

[Mrscancer]

Hi littleannies, I to find myself the a similar situation to yourself, I 'm a mum of a 9 year old boy and in February this year told the deverstating news I had lung cancer and 2 years to live. It's s##t, I hate everything about it, hospital appointments taking over my life chemo which I've been so bad with and some days I've sat and just cried and cried, but others have been strangely normal. I don't think there is any right of wrong why to behave . Just go with it and try not to beat yourself up about days that are rubbish, because quite frankly we all have a right to do exactly as feel.

I now have friends who all rallied around to begin with having less and less as if they cannot cope with the situation, some days I cannot bear them and feel like telling them to take a hike if it's that tough for poor old them and other days I totally get it and worry how I would have coped had it been one of them, we'll never know I hope.

I had an appointment with a physiologist on Monday last week, I cried a lot told her how I hated the NHS and everyone in it but in the end apologied. Explained I was never like this before and I wish she could have meet me when I was nice and kind about people , we laughed but she told me I had every right to detest all the things I'd come up against and feel how I was feeling, I felt quiet empowered.

I'm going back to see her in sept when my sons back at school because I'm wanting to make the hols as normal as possible and thankfully my last all day chemo tomorrow before I start maintanence chemo in sept, so we're going away for 3weeks. I must admit we all need it. My husbands been so supportive he needs normality aswell.

Basically what I wanted to say is i get you and it's ok to feel crap when you want to. all the best Christine xx