TRIGGER suicide and ptsd Feeling as if something terrible will happen ... I need a happier mind!

[Starrlight]

I’m on edge as if something terrible is about to happen and I think it has to do with ptsd. I often think my kids will choke or be strangled accidentally while playing. My brother hung himself this time of year. I have decided to deep breathe and distract my mind by reading subtitles of a show I’m watching... but all the while I have that feeling like I will have to jump up and save someone from death any minute. I’m so unsettled and can’t concentrate well. I’m trying to think positive but so many anxiety provoking and depressing things fill my mind. Any ideas on how to live with a happier mind?

[melbrown]

(((Starlight))) .... I am so sorry you are going through this... it's so hard to stay in the present especially when these anniversaries come up or something else triggers us. The important thing is you realize you are aware it's a triggering time for you. You have to try to keep yourself in the present... reading is a good start. How about a hobby that involves your hands... coloring, knitting, etc. something to take your focus & get your other parts of your brain going. Take a walk if you can... even take the pup. A good grounding exercise I've learned is listing where I am at. Listing all the details you can... I also remind myself & I'm safe. You are safe Starlight & so are your kids. Lots of love. 💗

[Starrlight in reply to melbrown]

Hey you! Good to read you and thank you so much. It’s nice to see a friendly face. You are right. I need the reminder that we are safe. I was busy with schooling with kids and I’ve been cleaning a lot today...so that helped... now I’m so tired I just want to rest but that’s when it gets difficult. Maybe Netflix is an answer...

How are you?

[melbrown in reply to Starrlight]

Hope you enjoyed your Netflix. I'm trying to keep it together. My therapist had a family emergency when the whole shelter in place started... so it's been hard because she hasn't been available this whole time. I have no idea how they handle it when you need someone, but it's not a crisis when your therapist is out at Kaiser (I'm going through our medical insurance, so it's done at the hospital). She was supposed to be back tomorrow, but looks like she'll be back in 2 weeks. I know someone is checking in on her messages... but don't know what that means as someone to talk to. And I know they have to be swamped over there... I'm in CA & they just announced shelter in place until end of May.... I'm trying to stay positive... my husband & I are still able to work. Our health is relatively good... just tired & stressed. Need to work on carving out some mediation time into my day.

Sorry for late reply & the rambling.... lots of love & hugs beautiful. 💗

[Starrlight in reply to melbrown]

I hear you! Stress! And needing to carve out time for meditation. I feel for you and hope you will get a session with your therapist soon. It does make a difference I’m sure you can tell. Yeah end of May seems to be around the time that things may reopen ... my dentist is closed but made an appointment for June 8. We will see. I haven’t drank a drop of alcohol in 9 days but I tell ya I’m tempted today... I can’t keep this up. I wish you well ❤️

[lovetodance2018]

So sorry Starrlight you are struggling with uneasy thoughts. You are doing the best thing by keeping your mind distracted. I find games really help me keep my mind off thoughts. I also write down those thoughts if I can't stop thinking them, pray over them, and work on letting them go and giving my concerns to God. Any uneasy, anxious and negative thought, I try to imagine letting go of them on a cloud and seeing them float away. The visualization really helps me. I found it on CBT i Coach you can download on your phone apple.co/2xb7Gdk. Also I have been doing online exercising learning new exercises and being active helps too. I will be praying for you. I know you can change those thoughts and know they are not true. Hugs to you and God Bless.

[Starrlight in reply to lovetodance2018]

I like that letting go of thoughts on a cloud... I’m a visual type of person so that really can work...good job...thanks for prayers I just said one for you... and may God bless you.

[Starrlight]

Wow amazing I take all of those that you have mentioned. I just took a long fast walk which helped. I haven’t tried SE therapy I don’t think. Thanks I’ll have to look that up.