Erection Problems

[Cryptogamia]

Hi, I’m new here. I’ve started dating a guy who has erection problems after CML & bone marrow. He’s had testosterone injections & tried tablets (Viagra & others). I think it’s partly in his head. How can I help?

[2003UK Champion]

Hi, sorry I cannot help but the Leukaemia Care Charity are there for support and advice:

Email: [e-mail]

Freephone helpline: 08088 010 444

Opening times: Monday to Friday 8:30am - 5.30pm & Thursday and Friday evenings 7:00pm - 10:00pm

Please do (with your partner's permission) keep talking with him and with health professionals and perhaps Mcmillan nurses as I feel it is a subject that is not talked about enough. Also, I think, perhaps counselling, with the right person, might be something that could help. I believe it takes great courage to open up on sexual problems. Take care both of you and keep posting.

[NicoleLeukaemiaCare Administrator]

Hi there.

Erectile problems can affect all men - cancer or no cancer. It can be a really difficult subject to tackle.

In the US, 60% of men who had had cancer had experienced erection problems but just 20% had sought advice on the subject.

Treatments for erectile dysfunction can include:

viagra

Injections into the penis (this is typically to treat nerve damage)

A pellet or cream to put into the opening of the penis

Vacuum pumps

Sex therapy.

If we wanted to explore options other than the ones he has currently tried, its worth going back to the doctor/talking to the consultant.

Your mental state can also affect your sex life. If this is the case, he may be eligible for a Leukaemia Care counselling grant to help pay for counselling sessions. You can find more about the scheme here: leukaemiacare.org.uk/suppor...

[DrunkJam_UK Administrator]

Hi,

I think it's really important to talk about these things. I obviously can't diagnose anything, and if he is seeing a dr, an open and honest discussion should help. But, I just thought I would weigh in to remind you that cancer is just one part of someone's life experience. I mean, this could be entirely down to it, but, it may also be entirely separate. Or it might be about how he sees himself, either because of the cancer, or for any number of other reasons.

Also, I guess, it matters not to make penetration the be all and end all of your sex life, so that you can both relax and enjoy each other without worrying about erectile function.

[Cryptogamia in reply to DrunkJam_UK]

I’m not making it the be all and end all.. He actually has the issue not me.. He feels a failure I think but I keep telling him I’m ok with it.. I just don’t know how to get his brain to switch off & just in joy what we have rather than stress about what we don’t have. He doesn’t seem to want to talk about it

[Scream-N-kick]

Had similar problems and still can’t finish what I start if you get my meaning.

Take a 4 week break from intercourse and any other sexual play, tell him not to worry and don’t selfplay either. Then start slow, no pressure on him, warm up well, make it just you two, no asking if it’s ok that will put pressure on him, you know what you are doing I’m not an expert, but mindfulness does help, do it together. Plenty of help online. It’s about relaxing.