Bullying at secondary school affecting sons treatment

[Trains10]

Hi

My son is struggling at school again, his ‘mates’ bully him they are all ASD but access mainstream secondary with support.

Hes on week 7 of Benepali injections and was doing well but he’s gone back to the can’t do it frame of mind. I think the bullying has been targeting his arthritis and not being as active and able as them. He also has other health problems and visual impairments that they don’t have. He just wants to be normal so he’s not a target to anyone. Have tried to say he will look more vulnerable if he has to go to school using crutches and wheelchair again so the injection will help keep him ‘normal’

I’ve always taught him that there isn’t such a thing as normal and if we were all the same the world would be a boring place. But he’s nearly 15 now and it’s much more difficult.

School are trying to help but he’s struggled in schools his whole life. No point moving him now he’s about to be Y11.

at a loss on how to encourage him to take his medication when he’s much taller and bigger than me now.

[bpeal1]

Has your son been offered any Psychological help? My daughter (now 18) was referred by her rheumatologist to a paediatric psychologist. She was initially referred due to having extreme needle phobia which was stopping her from taking her medication. However the sessions covered all aspects of having JIA including wanting to feel normal. My daughter wasn’t bullied but she did have issues with a couple of girls saying things like ‘Stop making such a fuss my granny has arthritis and she still does stuff’ when she had to miss PE because she was flaring, etc.

The sessions with the psychologist really helped to talk through things and the transformation over the needle phobia was amazing. If you’ve not tried it yet I highly recommend asking for it.

[Nicola-NRAS Partner]

Hi Trains10, it sounds like a very tricky situation for you all. I would certainly recommend speaking to your son's healthcare team who will have encountered similar scenarios before and hopefully be able to offer you some guidance on how to approach it and options going forward.

If you would like to speak to a member of our Helpline team here at NRAS, you can call the freephone number 0800 298 7650 Monday- Friday 9.30- 4.30pm.

I would also highly recommend The Teapot Trust, an art therapy charity who work with young people living with chronic illness , one area being needle phobia teapot-trust.org/ but also address the issues, such as anxiety, social isolation that can go hand-in-hand with long term health conditions.

I hope this helps and do get in touch if there is anything else we can help with.

Nicky, JIA-at-NRAS

[Trains10]

thank you for the replies. I will look into what you suggested.

It’s escalated now as yesterday one of the ‘mates’ pushed my son in the back his knee you know when they do that to make your leg drop. He dropped and it jolted his leg he hasn’t been able to weight bare. It’s easing a bit now but hurts to put it straight and put weight on it to walk.

[Nicola-NRAS Partner]

So sorry to hear that, do hope he's doing well. If this happened at school and you would like to start a conversation with the school about any additional support and extra vigilance, it my help to suggest an IHP which is a form to lead the discussion with the school and agree any steps to ensure his needs are met. I realise he is teen and may not be overly keen but if you think this could be a good idea we have information and a downloadable template on our website: Individual Healthcare Plan

jia.org.uk/resource/individ...

All the best, Nicky

[WilfDog]

So sorry to hear of your son's bullying issues. The above information sounds really useful. I hope he manages to gain some help to enable him to take his injections as well as find some supportive friends.

[Trains10 in reply to WilfDog]

Thank you. We’ve seen his consultant today and he said his knee is sprained and to rest and ice it for a few more days.

[WilfDog]

I'm glad you've managed to see the consultant. Hopefully, your son's knee continues to improve and he receives some psychological support too. Good luck

[Trains10 in reply to WilfDog]

Thank you.