Diagnosed infertile

[Nat8917]

Hi everyone, I’m new here. My story is a long one but to cut it short I was diagnosed infertile 6 years ago aged 23. I’ve struggled to come to terms with it and don’t really feel I’ve accepted it. I’m looking to maybe chat to someone else who’s in the process of acceptance

[andylins]

I'm sorry, honey..I'm not in your shoes. I can call myself an experienced IVFer. So probably I'm looking onto things from the different angle right now. infertility is always hard to accept. Regardless of age, this thought makes us feel worse than ever. I don't know your background. and the exact infertility issue. but your brief mssage on here made me think you've got the tough one. Do your best to meet a good fertility expert. You know, to get the problem nailed. During this appointment, the specialist will review the information you have provided. You'll discuss any previous tests or treatments you have undergone. Once they’ve discussed and addressed any concerns or questions, they will recommend how best to proceed. It is also important to note that during your meeting, your IVF specialist may suggest carrying out certain tests to assess your uterus and ovarian function. Please understand that these are routine procedures and may be suggested to determine the best approach for your further treatment. I'm sure it's the time when dr is the one to advise the best. Sending my warm supportive hugs your way x

[Nat8917 in reply to andylins]

Hi thanks for your reply , unfortunately I’ve had all the tests and there’s no other avenues to go down . I’m as infertile as they come , only chance is surrogacy or adoption .

[andylins in reply to Nat8917]

Oh I see, luv, that's gonna be not easy. Whatever path you choose - surrogacy or adoption - it might be quite a long and complicated process. No doubt I can say adoption has always been out of the question for us. Not 'cause we both are selfish or don't want to make a kid happy with his new family..It's a completely different thing. I mean opting for surrogacy you'll keep genetic relation with your baby/ies. I really couldn't bare the idea our genes could die with us..We all are different and have different opinions. This is how it felt for me..dh thinks the same. Later we got to know we had to use donor egg with IVF. That was another heartbreak for me. We took a break from treatments to think things well over. I the game was over for me, my genetical material, but at least those were going to be dh's genes. And this was making me feel better every other day. I unerstood that was just the beginning of sth completely new for us..

[Loraine7 in reply to Nat8917]

May I ask, what have you both decided?

Adoption is not easier way to have a LO. It might be a long and complicated route depending on the law in your country. I truly think you'd better investigate surrogacy more. This way you could keep the genetic relation to your kid. And if you don't mind travelling abroad for surrogacy it might be quite an affordable option. Whatever your decision will be, all my positive thoughts going your way

[Nat246 in reply to andylins]

Hi andylins I will be starting my ivf journey this year so it would be good to have someone to ask questions if you don’t mind.

[andylins in reply to Nat246]

Welcome, honey xx

[hannahding]

Hey, I can totally understand what you are going through. I don't think anyone can really come down to accept things. This is because we all are hoping. We are hoping that if one thing will not work something might work. I know it can get hard but you have to be strong. I haven't given up yet. I am now thinking out of the box for the next steps. Technology has improved and we do have chances.

[Nat8917 in reply to hannahding]

Thanks , could I pm you to chat a bit more?

[pink318]

Hi Nat,

I’m very sorry to hear this. I understand how you feel because it was almost 20 years ago when I was diagnosed with PCOS and my doctor told me it’s impossible for me to get pregnant.

Upon hearing the news from my doctor, I cried and was so upset but my husband was confident that I would conceived. I went through infertility treatments for 2 years. I was frustrated from expecting every cycle to have positive result but always turned out negative. It was not an easy journey, the roller coaster of emotions were overwhelming. After countless Clomid, shots and surgery I had a positive result, thankfully I got pregnant.

Please don’t lose hope. We have the best technology nowadays. You have mentioned that it’s only by adoption and surrogacy that you will get pregnant, how about IVF? Maybe you can try to ask second opinion from other infertility doctors. I hope you will get the help you need to conceive. I pray that you will have your heart’s desire to have a baby, praying also for peace as you wait. If you need someone to talk to, you can message me anytime. God bless, please keep us posted.

[Mel77 in reply to pink318]

Oh my, you've been through so much. Firstly, let me cardially congratulate you with your treatment success. May your little one grow strong and healthy. I absolutely agree IVF might be the best decision for many couples. And the treatment options are stepping forward every other day. So that everyone can find the best solution for her. Secondly, making the clinic's choice is just crusial. Meaning we usually come to the repro center after we've read some information on it. We expect to pay for shots and get well treated. But it's also important to be at comfort emotionally with the place we choose. 'cause the doc who's taking all our needs at heart is more likely to provide the best of treatments. Unfortunately our first experience with the fertility clinic was not one of the best. The staff made it clear they wouldn't take time on hearty talks or explaining things twice (if needed). and that seemed they treated us like ''cycle'' not the individuals with our personal needs. So we switched for the clinic in ukraine. mainly for affordable costs. I'm a happy mom of twins after 2 IVF shots at bio texcom. Moreover, we've recently undergone treatments with them for our baby#3. I believe everyone deserves peace of mind, understanding and support on this tough way. Emotional side of the process cannot be underestimated. All the best!!

[Gia_9 in reply to pink318]

If he has been told she needs surrogacy then there's hardly much hope in IVF. Though I guess she'll need failed IVF or medical reports emphasizing on her need for a surrogacy. It could be either because she cannot bear a pregnancy due to infertility issue, hysterectomy etc or isn't allowed to have a full-term gestation as that might threaten her life. It's the utmost requirement of any country that the expectant mother should have supporting documents to justify that she needs a surrogacy and there's no other option really. It's same for Ukraine too. Technology in clinical treatment is definitely a boon to women like us suffering from infertility but still very much desire to have a baby that completes the family. I wish all the women luck so they find success with whatever process they choose to be on!

[andylins in reply to Gia_9]

We've been through treatments twice with ukrainian bio texcom. They have attractive surrogacy packages at reasonable costs (EUR40-50k) depending on the number of shots you sign up for. All packages are “All Inclusive” which means that they include: Medical procedures and medications. Medical and psychological examination of all surrogates . Payments to the surrogate . Transfers to and from the airport and the clinic . Donor eggs if needed . Interpreter with you at the clinic on every visit. Legal help to obtain documents for the baby after it is born . Monthly ultrasound reports with pictures of your baby . English speaking coordinator who will be your point of contact at the clinic. All packages are paid in 5 intallments, the last 2 are after the birth of your child. Besides I'd agree that this country is surrogacy friendly. There's no need to worry about the surrogate who'll want to keep your baby after delivery if she changes her mind. IP are considered to be the ONLY LEGAL PARENTS of the baby from the moment of conception! Worth considering!

[Loraine7 in reply to Gia_9]

Ukraine is a country with optimally balanced legislation. Relationship to the child is determined by the father of the child. According to the same principle the documents to the baby are executed . The cost of surrogate motherhood EUR 30k. And this cost unlike in the USA, includes the risks (including cesarean, pre term birth etc), food, accommodation, transportation, translator, so on. The procedure for registration of a child is quite simple. For most of the cases, The baby's passport is given in Ukraine. In some cases it is necessary to draw up documents in IP's own country. The queue there moves quite fast. The average wait time varies from one to six months. All this makes the country a good surrogacy destination.

[hannahding]

Congratulations to your friend on the birth of the baby. I am sure that must have been exciting for her. I have heard about another clinic in the same area. I am actually searching about them. The good thing about them is that they have accommodation facilities and they also provide amazing services. The clinic you have mentioned I did research about them and I couldn't find these things. I am already very scared after so many failures that I am making sure that I make no wrong decision. Lets hope for the best.

[Karinyaa]

Hi ladies. Joining the thread. Me - of ripe age with severe endo. dh has low sperm count and motility. Gave a try to IUIs, ICSIs, but ended with IVF using donor egg in ukaine, bio texcom. It took us 3 shots to conceive. My endo never made the treatments easier. Had surgeries, felt constant pains and painful intecourse. Were trying to deal with own eggs unless our new dr told us they were useless. I was like a deer caught in headlights when dr told us. Felt so emotionally raw and physically worn down.. Later I did come to terms my genes would die with me. But that didn'y stop me, as all I wanted was a sweet healthy baby. Every time they placed back 2 nice 5day blasts. Our third shot was successful though one of our embies vanished..We have a wonderful boy now Wishing babydust to everyone struggling!!

[Hidden]

There is stem cell on youtube on female and male infertility and you can call the hospital if you want to take it further

[hannahding]

The clinic you have mentioned also doesn't offer accommodation facilities. I did contact them previously. Also, no I didn't end up with that clinic either. I made my decision after a lot of research. For me, there are a few things that matter a lot and one of them is good behavior from the clinic's side. I also want to be given full information about everything. So when these things were found in one of the clinics from Ukraine I did contact them. Do pray for us.

[Gia_9 in reply to hannahding]

Hi Nat, sorry to hear about your infertility... honestly, it comes as a shock to everyone when they are announced to have infertility. But then amidst all the odds, the good part is that it's not absolute and in most cases does have a solution. Thanks to modern science that assisted fertility is made available to women like us who've struggling to get pregnant but have some complications that might not make the simple process any effective. It's good that you're past the phase to come in terms with infertility and have been active in finding a way to deal with it. I guess the worst part of infertility is the fact that the failures and often repetitive one's kind of dissuade you from trying. I'm not sure what problems do you exactly have or which process you're opting for but surely go through the Biotexcom website once to check if it fits your case. It's one of the best you can find in Ukraine.

[Loraine7 in reply to Gia_9]

The information that has been provided is quite beneficial. It includes all the details that everyone needs. Apart from this information, the things that really intrigued me included the clinic's communication network. It is amazing! I love reading their blog and attending the online meetings that they organize. These little efforts they make always mean a lot to me. I think this is the right type of behavior that clinics need to adopt.

[Sausage11]

I’m sorry if I am wrong but this feels like a spam account for a Ukrainian clinic.

[Nat8917 in reply to Sausage11]

My post has been overtaken by folk talking about ivf when I’ve made it clear that isn’t an option for me 😢

[Loraine7]

So sorry to hear this Though i'm on the other side of the river, I do still come here at times as this place was a huge comfort for me when being into the process..Our infertility journey led us to surrogacy. We opted abroad mainly for lower prices and more atractive services. There were top 5 clinics to choose from. the choice was never easy, we thought we had to talk to more people on different boards, ask for their experiences to make the right decision. It was also a huge financial burden for us. We had to sell our big house with empty rooms ad buy some more moderate one. We've spent all the remaining money for treatments - with no luck. So surrogacy shot abroad was really our very last option. If no luck- we could hardly think where to move further..That was going to be the end of our journey, I spent nights crying and praying for luck. I know it's tough, and demanding, and devastating if you don't get what you've always wanted so much in your life..But you should never stop. Fight up to the end. Never, never give up, you have no right if all you want is a LO in your life. Thinking and praying for you xx

[Hidden]

stem cell and infertility on youtube

[SerrineV]

Hi, we've been through surrogacy 3 yrs ago. If you don't mind what is called fertility tourism, I might be of some help for you. You second option is adoption, right? For many reasons I wouldn't say it's going to be faster or smoother way to have a kid in the family. Costs turn out to be the same, we did research. We struggled with the idea of surrogacy too. We had never really considered it seriously up to that final point. because we thought we would get pregnant eventually through IVF. Now, I had to give up the thought of pregnancy. this broke my heart even more. But compared to the thought of being childless vs having our own bio kids, we definitely knew that we wanted to keep pursuing the latter. Lastly, we could rest with the thought that time-wise, pregnancy could start right after embryos are created, as many women participate in surrogacy in ukraine. Do drop us a line soon. GL!!

[EmmaFoster1]

Hey Nat! I hope you are feeling better now. I feel so bad for you, Infertility is a difficult thing to cope with. I m infertile since birth, you can say that I had a birth defect. I wasn't able to give birth to my own child even with IVF or IUI it was not possible. So I chose surrogacy as my way of conceiving. Just make sure the clinic you are opting for is experienced. Stay strong and blessed! Good Luck!

[Marmo in reply to EmmaFoster1]

If I'm not mistaken you're undergoing surrogacy in Ukraine. The choice is understandable. It's absolutely surrogacy friendly country. Meaning the IP are considered to be the only legal parents of the baby born. The birth certificate is issued with their names. (even though donor egg was used). The surrogate has no right to keep the baby after deliver (even though she changes her mind - you WILL GET your baby in every case). Ukrainian law protects all the sides of the process, so there could be hardly a thing to worry about. If you're from the UK, I'd definitely recommend you looking through oursurrogacyblog.wordpress.com which is absolutely awesome for the details of surrogacy treatment for the UK citizens in particular. A lady on another forum wrote, surrogacy process in Ukraine goes on like this##

Initial consultation. It usually contains the following activities: A set of tests depending on the program (fasting is mandatory). Consultation with a fertility specialist who will be in charge of your program (in case of stimulation you will need to have the transvaginal ultrasound check done). Consultation with a manager who will guide you through the program step by step. Signing of contracts. Before any initial consultation you will receive the Guidelines for the Initial Consultation – failure to follow these recommendations may affect the initial consultation in a negative way. Search & confirmation of a surrogate mother, matching process. Waiting time depends on the type of contact. Stimulation & synchronisation stage (about 2 weeks). The cycle of egg donor or the biological mother is synchronised with the cycle of a surrogate mother. According to your contract you have to follow all doctors instruction. In case of self-treatment or violation of the treatment protocol, the clinic may cancel the cycle and terminate the contract. Fertilization day, embryo transfer – the 2nd visit. In case the biological mother undergoes hormonal stimulation and is being prepared for egg retrieval, the second visit may take up to 10 days. If we are talking about surrogacy using own eggs it is not recommended to leave the same day. Flying the following day is fine.The rules for sperm donation are similar as for the initial consultation – a man needs to abstain from ejaculation from 3 to 5 days before. After fertilisation the embryo development is monitored by embryology unit. The embryo transfer takes place on the 5th day. You will receive the protocol of embryo cultivation and transfer within 3 working days after the embryo transfer. HCG test, pregnancy confirmation. The first ultrasound scan is carried out in 2 weeks after the positive HCG test by the doctor in charge of the program. The report will be send the same or the next day after the check.

Pregnancy monitoring. Delivery. Obtaining of the birth certificate for the baby (up to 1 week).

Have you experienced your process the same?? Thank you in advance.

[LeonaJordan]

Hi Nat! I am so sorry to hear about your infertility. Infertility is really a hard thing to deal with. I m hoping that things will get better for you. Just keep trying. Don't give up.

[Mel77]

IVF may be an option if you or your partner has:

Fallopian tube damage or blockage. This cause makes it difficult for an egg to be fertilized or for an embryo to travel to the uterus.

Ovulation disorders. If ovulation is infrequent or absent, fewer eggs are available for fertilization.

Premature ovarian failure. It's the loss of normal ovarian function before age 40. If your ovaries fail, they don't produce normal amounts of the hormone estrogen or have eggs to release regularly.

Endometriosis which occurs when the uterine tissue implants and grows outside of the uterus. It often affects the function of the ovaries, uterus and fallopian tubes. Uterine fibroids which are common in women in their 30s and 40s.

Fibroids can interfere with implantation of the fertilized egg. Previous tubal sterilization or removal. If you've had tubal ligation and want to conceive, IVF may be an alternative to tubal ligation reversal.

Impaired sperm production or function. Below-average sperm concentration. weak movement of sperm. abnormalities in sperm size and shape can make it difficult for sperm to fertilize an egg. If semen abnormalities are found, your partner might need to see a specialist to determine if there are correctable problems or underlying health concerns.

Unexplained infertility which means no cause of infertility has been found despite evaluation for common causes.

[Karinyaa]

I faced the mc heartbreak some time ago. This was our round #2 ivf with donor egg! YEp, this was att with DE!! (might sound weird, as DE are aimed to be of the best quality!! But this didn't happen..). Some of my background: me - ripe age, dh's the same. He had low sperm count and motility. Me - severe endo sufferer. 10 yrs married. 2 yrs ttc. Passed several rounds IUI, 2 ICSIs. Then turned to donor eggs abroad. Round#1 - bfn. Round #2 - early mc. Round #3 - successful.

The thing I wanna say is that you cannot get fully prepared for this roller coaster. No one can actually. Do take enough time considering your options. Hope you're feeling better today.

[JustKnewIt]

I feel your pain, dear. The issues you're facing make me so sad. And the timing..it must be unbearable to get to know about dx at 23..I'm so sorry. Still, you've mentioned you're in the process of acceptance. It looks like you're torturing yourself now. You're taking time needed, but I'm praying it's enough by now. Please, do look for your options!! Be realistic, the issues won't vanish on their own. Here's me, 47, I have a beautiful DD born via surrogacy. This was a long way but now I wish I took steps much earlier. I was born without womb, so knew all my entire life I won't cope without surrogate's help or adoption as the variant. But got the latter never accepted. Surrogacy got us the chance. I'm sure there is the way out for you. Be strong, honey, this is a roller coaster but you can do it!

[Mel77]

These treatments can be very stressful that is why you should take a break, forget about fertility drugs and take a “chill pill”. This should be the period of mind and body renewal. Use this time to rethink your options and think about how YOU feel. If you don’t find this possible then consider also seeing a counselor.

Don’t rush any decisions, hun! Some people think that changing a doctor or a clinic is a good idea. But the current clinic and its doctors know a lot more about the specifics of your condition! One of the most common reasons for bfn is the embryos development failure. Very often it is not clear why wouldn’t the embryos develop in the womb properly but it could be caused by one of these cases:

It could be chromosomes problems – many healthy looking embryos have defective chromosomes. It may have been that the egg did not mature properly or after the fertilization it divided not how it should have. It could be because of the poor blood flow to the womb. If there’s poor circulation in the womb, chance for pregnancy is decreased and if you conceive there is a bigger chance of miscarriage. This could happen even if there is nothing wrong with the embryos.

I know these are just things in theory, and it's hard to find out actually what is the reason for ''not working''. But I believe there is some good way out for you in your very case. Hoping for you.