Coping strategies

[Ashfilm]

I have recently had a relative that has been placed in ICU . I am finding it very stressful and worrying with all the ups and downs. Are there any tips of how to cope with the situation ?

[Sepsur]

we run a relatives drop-in meeting on zoom every week - plenty of warmth and experience supplied 💙

cc-sn.org/drop-in-meetings

[Ashfilm in reply to Sepsur]

Thanks I would be interested in that .what day and time is it on

[Sepsur in reply to Ashfilm]

Tues 20.00 gmt

Fill out the contact us form and ask for drop in details 😊

[Ashfilm]

Thanks I will

[Sepsur in reply to Ashfilm]

💙

[Copse77]

it can be overwhelming as well as upsetting and stressful. The zoom meeting Sepsur suggests may help by seeing others who have gone through this. I experienced it too when my brother became critically I’ll out of nowhere. Best wishes for your relatives recovery.

[Ashfilm in reply to Copse77]

Thanks I will look into that .I hope your brother is recovering well.

[TBIcaregiver]

Hi, my son who is 19 has recently come out of a coma. It was the most scariest time of my life. They would try and bring him around every day but things kept going wrong and the had to sedate him again. Everyone is different but praying for him gave me peace, it was my coping mechanism. I learnt to accept that no change was even good news because that meant he wasn't deteriorating. Talking about your worries also helps. The doctors would always give the worst case scenario but I would focus on the positive outcomes. Everyone copes in different ways but pls make sure you look after yourself too by making sure you eat because that's something I stopped until I fainted and then told myself if I am to be there for my son then I need to be well. I also kept reminding myself that he was in the best place and was being looked after.

[Ashfilm in reply to TBIcaregiver]

Thank you for your wise words .its just when you hear the doctors spell out the worst case scenario it quite scary. I'm glad to hear your son has come out of a coma and is on the road to recovery.

[TBIcaregiver in reply to Ashfilm]

Thank you. The doctors will always give u the worst case because they just don't know at that stage and they want you to be prepared. It is extremely scary being asked to go in to a room to have a chat and hear those things but pls don't give up hope x

[Ashfilm in reply to TBIcaregiver]

Thank you for your kind words. I understand the doctors have to give the worst case scenario to not give you false either but it's just hard to hear . My relative is actually making a bit of an improvement now so I have hope still.

[Beanyynwa]

Hi Ashfilm, I am sorry that your family member is unwell and understand what a worrying and distressing time this must be for you all. I hope and pray that, with the specialist care provided, that your relative gets well. They are in the best place for the support they need.

I joined the support group Sepsur refers to in 2021 when my sister (age 55) was critically unwell in ICU due to Covid. This happened 3 weeks after our beloved mother had passed away due to Covid.

This was the most traumatic time for our family.

The people in the group were so supportive and helped me by sharing information at a time when we were going through the worst roller coaster of worry, uncertainty and fear. I felt understood at the group because those there knew what I was going through because they either had or were going through similar experiences.

Fortunately my sister survived and was able to return home to continue her recovery.

We won't have all the answers but are here to support you.

I found it helpful to visit my sister, when she was in an induced coma and on the ventilator. I would talk to her, massage her legs, arms and hands, play her favorite music and she began to respond. My sister says that although she was very confused due to the drugs and infections, she could hear and see us once she could open her eyes but was frustrated that she could not speak or move her limbs or head.

There were complications expecially as her lungs were very damaged and she had recurring infections.

Talking to nurses and consultants daily and asking questions helped greatly.

We had laminate pictures of family members on the wall opposite my sisters bed. We would read the cards sent to her.

What you and close relatives must do is look after yourselves eat well, go for walks, get enough sleep, express and talk about your feelings. I have never been so frightened or cried so much in my life.

I kept a written dairy for my sister so that she could know what was going on whilst she was in the coma. I found that this helped me too. You need to be as strong as possible physically and emotionally to support your relative and family moving forward.

Doctors could not offer us the certainty we so desperately needed and often talked about the worse scenario and risks.

You are not alone.

Take care🙏💓

[Ashfilm in reply to Beanyynwa]

I'm glad to hear that your sister has recovered. I think its just the uncertainty of the situation that makes it so stressful. Me and my family are visiting our relative as much possible ,even though I'm not sure if it makes that much of a difference .sometimes .Thank you for your advice ,we are trying to talk to a nurse as much as possible just so we are kept updated on the situation. I will also find out more about the support group as it sounds like it might help .

[Ashfilm]

Just to update everybody here ,we were told by doctors Wednesday gone that our relative was too far gone Healthwise to make a recovery . In the end my relative deteriorated quickly and they passed away on Thursday this week gone. I just want to thank all the advice and support I received here . It really helped to have a place to talk to people who have been through the experience themselves.

[Myfanwy58]

I’m so very sorry to learn of the loss of your relative. May they now rest in peace, and may loved ones be given strength in the days ahead.

[Ashfilm in reply to Myfanwy58]

Thank you so much for your condolences . It is a hard time at the moment for my family but we are getting through.