Is stress hard to deal with for others?

[Lux95]

Hello - I am new here, and from the US. This is the only forum on PICS/ICU recovery I've found. I am wondering if others have found stress more difficult to deal with, even a year or more later.

I spent a month in the ICU a year ago with severe pneumonia - intubated for almost 2 weeks, then tracheostomy. I was told by physicians and nurses that it is a miracle I survived. It took 2 months to relearn to walk and care for myself. I had a damaged nerve that caused severe double vision for 2-3 months as well. The physical impacts are finally mostly healed, but I still fear being near people with colds, flu, etc. I have almost no memory of the 2 weeks leading up to my hospitalization, and before waking up from sedation. The nightmares were beyond anything I've ever experienced. Family has helped tremendously filling in the gaps to separate the nightmare fictional world my mind created from the real events.

But now, to add insult to injury, I just lost my job through no direct fault of my own, though I think I came back too early and wasn't prepared to handle the stress effectively. I question whether I could have saved my job had I not been dealing with the unexpected emotional and psychological recovery. Sometimes I feel like these changes aren't simply a matter of adjusting my attitude or greater faith, but that there are small gaps in my brain's ability to think through certain tasks due to sedation. I don't think it isn't anything severe - just enough to be noticeable and frustrating. I have experienced the typical memory issues such as forgetting a simple word, phrase or concept in conversation, and there have been times when, for just a brief second, I seem to forget what I am doing, or how to do it. Does this sound like an aftermath of the ICU, or am I just second guessing myself?

[FamilyHistorian]

welcome to our world! Everything you describe is what we all experience in one form or another. I’m sure others will say the same. You can see my story in my profile

[Kit10]

Everything you say sounds absolutely typical of the aftermath of ICU, including being fearful of catching flu, nightmares, loss of memory...

I wish there was a simple answer to the follow-up question - "What can I do about it?"

YouTube has loads of videos about PICS, PTSD, ICU trauma etc, you may find some helpful advice there.

[Lux95 in reply to Kit10]

Thank you. I have researched PICS quite a bit, but there still seems to be a lot that isn't known, understandably, since there really is no before/after baseline to reference. It is good to hear what I am experiencing isn't necessarily imagined.

[Kit10 in reply to Lux95]

I think the real problem with PICS is not so much what no-one knows, but that the people who really need to know, líke those is charge of ICUs and particularly, the people who look after patients after they leave ICU, don't do the same reading up about what is known, and don't do the things that are known to prevent and help recover from it. It's not like the information is hard to find.

Oh ... 💡🔆! I've just remembered - hospital internet/wi-fi systems all seem to block YouTube - I guess that's to stop staff watching cute kitten videos when they should be working, but it must also stop them watching all the really educational videos that I've seen about ICU, PICS, PTSD etc etc. Maybe a rethink is needed....

On the bright side, one of the list of things known to help ís "peer support groups" so we are all doing something right just being here.

[Rhyl1 Partner Moderator ICUsteps]

What you’re describing completely fits with PICS, post intensive care syndrome. There are support groups on zoom across the U.K. and a few in the USA that you could join. A psychiatrist called Jim Jackson runs one in the USA. I can put you in touch with him if you email me at [e-mail]. Otherwise you’ll find him on twitter. Otherwise I could put you in touch with an ICU patient for you to chat to. Let me know what you think would help you most.

[Lux95 in reply to Rhyl1]

Thank you. I will look into the Zoom groups, and know of another possible resource locally. I may email you as well.

[Sepsur]

cognitive dysfunction is common for many of us - it can improve over time

😊

[Lux95 in reply to Sepsur]

It is good to hear it can improve. Either way, life goes on and we learn to manage. Just surviving is enough of a blessing for me. Just wanted to be sure I wasn't creating a problem that didn't exist.

[Sepsur in reply to Lux95]

recovering from ICU ( for the whole family) is complex & long. Physical, mental, emotional & dare I say it, spiritual, recovery takes years in my case.

Do things that challenge but not so much that they dishearten. 😊

We run a regular weekly drop-in & have a couple of American visitors- one who runs a great meeting out of Pittsburg

[Glen-ICU-SentMe-Nutz in reply to Sepsur]

Do things that challenge but not so much that they dishearten ...

That's fine advice, both philosophically and metaphysically

[Grant_za]

There is little I can add that has not already been mentioned by others in reply to your post.However, your losing your employment adds to everything else creating the stress you are going thru. I'm certain you would qualify for benefits under your social security system.

The mental / psychological recovery process post ICU is well documented and medically recognised. You along with many, if not most ICU patients, will suffer varying mental "disorders / challenges" through recovery. In many cases these "disorders" are debilitating for significant periods of time, leaving sufferers unable to function as they previously did, pre ICU.

Some Social Security benefits may ease the burden you carry, and help tide you over until fully recovered.

ssa.gov/disability/professi...

[Lux95 in reply to Grant_za]

Thank you for the reply and encouragement. I did not even know the SSA had such a consideration for benefits. I will look into it.

[Ta-thanx]

This is worth a listen.

It was 2010 when I was rushed into ICU and things still come to mind on a regular basis in dreams and flashbacks. This was brought to my own attention by just seeing and hearing ICU sights and sounds on the news when the pandemic was constantly on the news.

I keep thinking it is fading but they can come back in a flash, but at least you start to make sense of things and you can identify that it's in your mind and not quite as real or intense.

bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0001...

[PeterJu]

hi Lux 95. Re the last paragraph of your post-no, you are not second-guessing yourself! Brain fog or cognitive impairment is a common is for many of us and I am in that club too.

If you use Twitter, i would recommend you look at the posts of @jcjackson68 on this topic. he is a Psychologist and specialist in Post Intensive care syndrome. You are right about stress too. depression and increased anxiety is a common issue. I avoid any situations (I can) that are likely to cause me stress these days as I recognise i reduced capability to handle it. best wishes to you with your recovery, Pete.

[Fluffyblonde01]

This is near identical to me. I was in a coma in may 2022 and never saw a second of it. It's traumatising and I can say I'm far from over this too