Am I feeling normal or is this a new normal?

[SonnyBlue]

I find it difficult to comprehend what I went through 4 months ago. I had a cesarean section complication under general aneastetic which ended in me heamoraging twice, losing 3.8 litres of blood, 7 blood transfusions while on the operating table to keep my blood up and an induced coma and ventilated for 3 days in Icu, 5 days in total in icu 3 days asleep 2 days awake trying to move and get my strength back.

I feel as though I woke and have been made to go back to normal as if it didn't happen. Even though I know it happened. And I'm dealing with ptsd. But I need to be a mum to my newborn and toddler, so when do I have a moment to myself to recover and think about what I went through. In survival mode I don't have time to think.

Im very scatty and can never follow one train of thought any more. It shows in the way I speak too, as if I can't get my whole words out or I have half the conversation in my head and finish it out loud and I don't understand why people don't understand me. Plus never finishing simple things liek washing up beucsee I get distracted and do soemthing else. Is this pics or could it jsut be sleep deprivation? I actually think I might have PICS, never heard of it before joining this group.

The amount of thoughts, feelings etc that I haven't mentioned to anyone beucase i thought it was due to recovery and pointless pointing out.

I had an icu debrief yesterday and the amount of things I mentioned and the health professionals said it was completely normal even though I felt strange/crazy/mental. I feel like this group is going to be my life line for recovery and realising I went through what I did and its okay to feel the way I feel.

Anyone else have any sort of feeling like this? Will it go away and will I feel normal again?

[Rhyl1 Partner Moderator ICUsteps]

When you have a baby you are busy anyway but you have the impact of your ICU stay on top of that. You’re meant to feel happy and fulfilled because of the baby but instead your dealing with everything else. Cut yourself so slack and let yourself take time to recover.

[SonnyBlue in reply to Rhyl1]

Haha yep, I was happy to be alive and baby to be alive. This new life is not what I expected, I jsut want life to be not stressful anymore and to jsut move on.

[SurvivorPhoenix]

Sending you love

[FamilyHistorian]

Probably a new normal. People’s reactions are not my problem it’s theirs. I’m different so what!

[Tedsdad]

Not a lady so I can’t possibly talk about caesarean or child birth but even without that I would be amazed if you were anything like back to normal after ICU It has taken me 18 months to get back in my head tomthe real me.And that is without demanding little ones to look after. I have two foolosh greyhounds but that’s not the same. I am sure it doesn’t give you any help,with your immediate problem but perhaps some chance of hope that if you can somehow keep going it will all turn all right in the end

[Sepsur]

PICS covers so many strange legacies of ICU for me - this is a great article on it

my.clevelandclinic.org/heal...