Flashbacks and anxiety

[rubydoobee]

How do you handle flashbacks? After being in the hospital in a diabetic coma, kidneys failing, pneumonia and more I have flashbacks of being in the hospital and coming slowly out of a coma. Also, I have flashbacks from being in rehab. I feel like I am in the hospital again when I am in my kitchen or eating at the dinner table, I get flashbacks when I am lying down in my bedroom. I know where I am but I feel like I am in the hospital and or rehab room. Sometimes I don't even know who my husband is. Any ideas I will try to consider. I wish you all well and be blessed in the difficult time of life.

[Sepsur]

You may need professional help to realign your brain. CBT & EMDR can be very effective treatments. Why not talk to your medical team. If your symptoms don’t go away of their own, you may have PTSD as opposed to the remnants of ICU delirium

[rubydoobee in reply to Sepsur]

I don' have a medical team there is no such thing here where I live. Too bad for me. I have been told I have PTSD by my therapist. She really doesn't seem to know much about a coma situation. I can't afford any other therapist ...my medical doesn't address this problem.

[Sepsur in reply to rubydoobee]

Can your therapist help you with CBT or EMDR for PTSD?

Life after Critical Illness can be really messed up - talking with others at least means we are no longer alone ( or unique), many of us are trapped without the necessary long term help.

We set up a charity to try and bridge the gaps - cc-sn.org

[Back_to_reality]

From reading posts on here it seems that flashbacks are different for different people. This makes sense as not only are our minds all different, but so are our experiences, the illnesses we have/had, and so on.

The one thing in common is that time seems to be a great healer. The flashbacks really worried me for a few months but I managed to come to terms with them as well as the underlying issues in my head which I think caused them. I say that; I probably haven't come to terms with all of them, but at least I can explain them to myself even though I'm not really happy about it.

As I've gone back to "normal" life I've found myself too stressed about other stuff that I've not had time to worry about the flashbacks. I'm not sure this is a good thing though.

How long have you been out of your coma? Is it the same flashbacks that keep happening? If the flashback is to the hospital, for example, do you know what it was that was happening to you or around you, and what did you think it was?

For me, I reached a point where while I still get flashbacks, they don't bother me so much now. I'm content with that.

[rubydoobee in reply to Back_to_reality]

I came out of the hospital and rehab in May 2020. I keep getting almost the same flashbacks. I try to not give it place but some take hold on me pretty strong. I do see a therapist but I don't think she is that good at dealing with this see doesn't address the coma situation. They do not offer any help from the hospital I was in either. If it wasn't for my husband, my research, and God I would be totally lost. Some flashbacks are strong and some are mild I am trying to go on as I can and am in the present more than I was last year. lol At least I am aware of my surroundings and my husband and other people. That is a good thing. Thanks for your reply.

[Back_to_reality in reply to rubydoobee]

You were a little bit before me then. I spent June in my coma, or at least most of it.

I also saw a therapist with my wife, who had suffered a lot too. Yes, my mind was completely messed up for a while and I nearly died, but she had to deal with so much while looking after the kids, not to mention being worried sick that I wasn't going to make it.

I thought it was helpful just being able to talk about things with the therapist for a bit then realised he wasn't actually helping. What I went through was very personal. Some of the flashbacks were frightening, but most were benign once I realised the really mundane things I had seen in the hospital that had caused them. Others were a bit more difficult, particularly those involving people I love dying. It was quite a relief to know they weren't actually dead though, of course.

I did have to confront a few things in my head. Yes, I knew everything was of my own making, but there were a few things, like the relationship with my parents for example, which had simmered for many years. In a perverse way it's forced me to deal with it, rather than just putting it to the back of my mind (which I think was ultimately what caused it to flare up in this situation).

I've tried to be positive. A bad experience has forced me to not take things for granted and to look more positively on life. I nearly died, yet I didn't. I got lucky. I'm not religious like you are, (although I was brought up with it). I know I'm no more special than all of those people who go into hospital and don't come out alive, but I've got another chance. It's very easy to get really down about things, and yes, I do. But then I think "how on Earth did I get through that?" and I know I can't squander that.

If you are getting the same flashbacks they're probably of thoughts that you can't explain, or they are disturbing you in some way. That's what they were for me at least, and I had to work through them, painful as it often was. Many sleepless nights. You will get there though and you need to believe that.

[Hidden in reply to Back_to_reality]

Hi. I have come to terms with the experience of being in ICU for a total of 14 weeks and nearly passing away. Like most on this site I had very vivid dreams living in many different locations, but usually involving people I knew or some of the hospital staff. Some of the dreams were fantasy others were violent. I truely believed they were real, and it was not until I came round more fully in ICU that my nurse confirmed I had been in the hospital all this time and not in various different countries. It was quite upsetting at the time, but this was short lived for me. I have talked to the ICU phsycologist and another but while it was good to share these experiences it did bring back memories I would rather forget.The best therapy I found was getting my hospital records so I could follow day by day what happened to me in reality.

I was lucky to survive and the doctors felt it was a miracle given how ill I was. I also appreciate others were not so fortunate.

I do think in some perverse way the vivid dreams to kept me alive, even though many involved near death experiences, but at least my brain was active.

I know that many are haunted by their experiences and the dreams they had, and guess we are all different in this respect. The main issues for me are physical with CKD and fatigue. I also need a walking stick when out.

[rubydoobee in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I will share this with you that helps me go on. "Just try and remember YOU ARE A SURVIVOR that's something to be proud of so be kind to yourself and don't be so hard on yourself, YOU'RE STILL FABULOUS." We are very special and blessed people to have made it through. Only 10% of people survive a coma. Have a blessed day.

[rubydoobee in reply to Back_to_reality]

Thank you for sharing. I am better than 2 years ago but it has been really difficult. Good thing I have a smart and caring husband. I do a lot of research on what I can about PTSD, trauma and being in ICU and in a coma. I see a therapist. None provided help from the hospital I was in. My doctor said he could refer me to a physiatrist but they will only give me meds. He said but you can just get the meds from me. I don't think so jack is what I wanted to say to him. But, instead I was polite. lol Take care of yourself.

[qmcsurvivor]

Thankfully some of my worst memories/flashbacks have disappeared overtime I was in induced coma with Covid from 23 December 2020 until 3rd January 2021. When they do occur there is often a trigger such as the mention of ICU on TV and when I go to bed and lie on my right side as became severely ill when in bed.

I have been diagnosed as having PTSD from this and awaiting appointment with Psychologist but slow progress with long waiting list, Things will improve with time.