There have been a lot of posts about flashbacks, but I think I may be having flashbacks to things I have no conscious memory of. It isn't quite a panic attack, but I struggle to speak and suddenly burst into tears. It's usually triggered by being handled in a way that hurts, or getting stuck in an uncomfortable position. Trouble is many carers get impatient saying things like "so what do you want me to do " or don't talk to me like that I'm trying to help you" or "what's upset you? If you don't want to talk about it I'll leave you alone."
How can I deal with flashbacks if I have no idea what they are flashbacks to?
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Kit10
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Well there's a lot of information there about ptsd but it doesnt answer the particular question. Maybe I wasnt very clear. How can EMDR or any other talking therapy that includes talking through memories work if you don't consciously have those memories?Maybe it doesnt.
Maybe it would work on a best guess reconstruction of what probably happened?
Does anyone know?
Maybe noone knows and I'll have to work it out using trial and error.
One of the symptoms of PTSD is avoidance ( either not confronting or not recalling) - not being a medic - I’m not in a position to diagnose - maybe being treated for PTSD ( if that’s what you have) might alleviate what’s going on for you. What I was trying to point out subtly was that PTSD is more than flashbacks and hyper vigilance and that it manifests in women differently than men.
Hi Kit10, you may find some help with this by researching therapists who have trained in Body Psychotherapy and Trauma. They may be able to work with "a best guess reconstruction". Just make sure anyone you work with is fully qualified and resistered with a regulatory body such as BACP or UKCP. There is also a book called The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kalk, which may offer some help. It's also available on audio book.
It is possible to work on flashbacks of feelings that don’t seem to have visual memories attached. Rather than looking at a visual memory then it’s exploring the feelings. But to do this requires a very experienced EMDR therapist who has worked with dissociation.
In case anyone is reading this who hasn't! ... to cut a long story very short (apologies for oversimplification), it's about the authors experience treating PTSD in war veterans and people who were abused as children using EMDR. That's working through bad memories while moving your attention from side to side. It claims great results from as little as 6 sessions.
My thoughts were:
- sounds great, I want some
- ? Or does it sound too good to be true?
- my experiences are closer to those of the veterans
- like most books on psychology subjects it says a lot about the problem but very little about the solution. Perhaps that s how the authors sell their services??
- but what if you've been traumatised by things you don't actually remember? - which is why I asked the question here.
hi Kit. Like you i experienced upsetting flashbacks. I am no medic however I can share how I managed to control and overcome them. I used a technique known as "safe place' or similar. In my case,I thought of a particular holiday/ beach scene when i was triggered, and then imagined all my senses feeling the scene. This technique was recommended to me, and I finally got it after some explanation. I guess it allows us to de-couple our responses of panic from the flashback? I guess it could work whether or not you have a specific flashback? see attached just one link about this. If approaching therapists you need to sift out ones who are knowledgeable/ qualified about trauma management from those that are not. Good luck ! Pete
I’m also not a medic. Trauma is not limited to those who have been subjected to visual traumatic events. Quite often I heard people say it can’t be trauma as it isn’t linked to the military. Trauma can be suffered by icu patients and their relatives and for each it is different.In loose terms talking therapies really can help and and that doesn’t have to be with a therapist. It can be with anyone or a support group, they need to listen and be non judgemental. It is such a shame that your carers don’t understand that all they have to do is listen. The fact they don’t believe you is their problem not yours.
I paid for a course of CBT (nothing available through the NHS) and had 11 sessions. The counsellor was someone I could relate to, I got on with them and I could trust them. Initially we had some arguments / disagreements but that was of us forming a relationship. Because of my issues we went back to my childhood and worked through unresolved work issues. What we did was develop strategies which were relevant to me. In particular I have a non avoidance strategy. So for instance this started to help me start watching hospital & ambulance programs. Like Peter I have a safe place which helps me manage my anxiety. Emotions are unexpected and easily kick off tears.
There is no logic to some of the things that happened but I treat my hallucinations as living in another world - I haven’t forgotten them in fact I can remember them in detail and I’m happy about that.
Every day is a challenge, meeting those challenges helps you move on. May be big steps forward to or backward steps what is they say “everyday is an education day”.
Someone suggested a safe-place strategy months ago, but I found it very upsetting because all the places I've ever felt safe require more mobility than I now have, and I don't feel safe anywhere if I cant walk away.However I have thought of a place from my childhood that I can't revisit anyway because it was closed and demolished years ago, so that might work.
The person who lent me the book worried me by asking lots of questions about my childhood. I thought maybe they were going to tell me that I hadn't been traumatised by ICU at all, it was all down to my childhood, and I really didn't want to get into that argument. I gave the book back and didn't see them again.
I have been referred to the community mental health team. I was supposed to see them for the first time on Wednesday afternoon, but the morning hospital appt for the broken leg took all day. They kept me waiting FOUR HOURS. Yesterday the mental health people were not answering their phone.
I am going bananas with frustration here. Even with assertiveness turned up to 11 it is impossible to get anywhere in so many ways, most of which I haven't mentioned.
Kit- I might be misunderstanding you, but just wanted to say that the safe space doesn't have to be a physical place. My one is the memory of a beach i went to on holiday. I try and think about the sights, sounds and smells. It is probably a fiction now based on a real experience, but I find calm there and can imagine the noises.
My safe place is also a beech and I can describe how to get there. I have limited mobility (RA) and probably will never pysically visit again however I can go there in a flash.
Kit10. I don’t have any specialist knowledge. What you describe, and the replies you’ve received, ring true for my own experience. It’s two years today since I got Covid and went into ICU. I’m now leading a normal life for a 74-year-old retired man. However, I have long term symptoms: suddenly getting panicky, feeling trapped, breathlessness, can’t handle awkward physical positions, anxious in crowds, discomfort with a face mask, getting tearful, being stuck for words – though nothing too disruptive. I have no memories at all of being in a coma in ICU, but recovery in High Dependency has left me with a store of vivid memories of pain, extreme discomfort, and wild delirium, which I can now talk and laugh about. My guess: We are not conscious of 99% of what goes on in the body, but the body ‘knows’ what’s happening. I.e. in ICU my bodily processes went through dozens of automatic near-death reactions which my body remembers even if I’m not conscious of any memories to talk about – but they were real experiences. Like you, I wonder what therapies might suit me if I have no pictures of, or words about, what happened – I was in a coma. As a man all this emotional stuff often makes me feel like a wimp. But I’m not. I’m trying to accept these feelings – be patient with them – and perhaps they’ll diminish. Or I’ll find a way of living with them. I’m lucky: my wife, children, and friends are sympathetic – more so if I tell them what’s going on and don’t try to hide things. Talking, counselling, writing a daily journal to record and ‘unjudgementally observe’ my ups and downs – all seem to help. I love the ‘safe place’ idea from PeteJu – for me, this can be outside in a favourite place on my walks, a sunny spot watching the birds, or inside revisiting warm memories, remembering our late lamented family cat, or listening to music – any of which trigger healing feelings.
Hello. I was in ICU with Covid and ventilated for 10 days during that period, I found it hard to decipher what was real and what was not as the entire period was like living each day but in a place between nightmare and dreams and reality if that makes sense.
Now 15 months later I know parts of it really couldn't have been real as almost dark comedy, I have looked at many articles online since regarding the time I don't remember such as going to and being in ICU yet the dream state memories remain. Scientists believe it is a mixture of sedation, severe illness delirium and being in a 24 hour very light and noisy environment which I agree with as most of my thought had me in a hospital setting.
I had one calming experience during that time and 99% believe it was a near death one as told I was nearly lost on two occasions. I to get tearful at the slightest hint of similar experiences in every day life and get very emotional when thinking about the surreal lost time. as PeterJu comments above the 'safe place' is a good one I remember a quiet beach on an island in Greece with the sound of gentle waves and crickets, a memory from my past.
and It is hard to know what to call these flash backs as there is so much about the brain we don't know about.
I am expecting to loose my job shortly due to long term affects of Covid and damage to organs from the virus and I am a frontline NHS worker and caught it at work so my emotions are all over the place and tearful at times. Counselling has helped and on one occasion I did call the Samaritan's as had to talk to someone. Best wishes.
I recently had a double lung transplant. Prior to that I was on life support 5 times.The worst was after the first induced coma. It lasted 21 days.
When they finally woke me I started having what is called Delerium.
Very real. Thinking the weird thots/conversations were actually happening. Most times the conversations were funny. However after researching Delerium there is one that most patients have is when u are attacked by the Dr and nurse trying to kill u. That one scared the life out of me.
Delerium can last from the beginning up to 2 years. Initially it is quite often and mine continued periodically for about 6 month. By then u manage to be able to figure out fairly quickly if its Delerium and some how u r able to realize whats reL and whats not.
I believe I saved the link about Delerium. If I can find it I will forward to u.
Following the next 4 times in a coma I would have it but only a few days.
Kit10 I'm sorry to hear you are having difficulties. Does the hospital you were a patient in have an ICU follow up service. It may be worth talking to them, they may be able to refer you to an appropriate service. Or do you have an IAPT (psychological therapy). it's worth looking them up, you can self refer, I'll warn you though it is quite emotional filling them online forms.
They may be able to help with coping strategies even if you can't pinpoint the reason behind your situation.
Post ICU anxieties without a reason is not uncommon and it sounds like maybe your care provider could do with some education on dealing with people with anxieties.
I tried to self refer to iapt, they decided my problems are too serious fand urgent or them., so they referred me on.
I dont think the hospital have any sort of follow up. They weren't doing icu diaries.
I have recurring dreams about people standing round my bed. I shout at them "you're a dream, go away." One of the carers just told me I have shouted that at her numerous times when she's come into my room at night,. They certainly need education about something, I've asked repeatedly not to be disturbed in the night, maybe they need to learn some English. Ot some respect for peoples wishes. I shall be adding that to my complaints. The problem is, once I've had one of those dreams I carry on having them over and over. But it seems they are not just flashbacks but reality ... how can I stop having flashbacks if the situation is ongoing? I despair.
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I was in itu in Hastings 6 months ago and I'm really struggling to get past it. 
Oh how I wish I was signposted to this site 18 months ago
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