A year ago I had routine open heart surgery unfortunately it didn’t go well and I was put in an induced coma waking up 4 weeks later
I was treated well but I had a trachy and couldn’t speak my hands were shaking so I couldn’t write or communicate. I was in a hospital 100 miles from my home and due to COVID no visitors were allowed
No one told me what was going on and it was days later that I managed to speak with my family and I found out some of what had happened.
During the time I was in the coma I suffered from horrendous nightmares and hallucinations and I have recovered from the physical illness I still suffer flashbacks and can’t put them behind me
Any suggestions would be appreciated
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Catfoot3
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During December ‘19 I was admitted with pneumonia, sepsis and a rapidly failing aortic valve I had already been taken to icu before my op and then was in a coma for about 2 months. I too had a trachy. When I eventually was weened off I couldn’t use my hand as I was so weak. I had a swallow problem and wasn’t able to communicate. I was given a mechanical voice box for short periods of time until the trachy was removed
I too suffered from delirium and hallucinations Some were long and detailed. I can remember them all. In particular I had problems with clock in the room that had multiple faces and told lies. The only problem was that when I came home it had passed it’s powers to a new toaster in the kitchen which followed me around the room.
I went on a course of CBT which helped me develop strategies for dealing with my issues. I have written elsewhere in this app about them. Now I don’t have any problems with them. I also have memory issues. I have no memory of the 3 months leading up to my time in ICU. I have learnt to manage that. However I do have trouble working out what are real memories as opposed to my icu reality memories.
Talking to others also helps as does emotions and tears.
Icustepschester run a drop in on zoom at 730 on a Thursday those attending have been there, or recovering or are relatives. You are welcome to come along it’s not limited to people in the Cheshire area
What you experienced is fairly common for critical illness with a few added whistles & bells because of all the restrictions due to Covid. I can only imagine how all the added PPE has enhanced the content of your hallucinations & nightmares although I was in ICU because of several contagious diseases 5yrs ago & when I woke from a 57 day coma all the physios & nurses had on PPE & visors - no wonder I dreamt the stuff I did.
Hi. I had ICU delerium when in ICU with Covid. The nightmares were very vivid and scary and violent. Once I came round and gradually became more aware the delerium stopped. I was given an antidepressant/anti anxiety tablet, but dont take this any more. I do remember most of the nightmares still now, but am not haunted by these, although the overall experience of being in ICU remains with me 10 months later.ICU delerium effects a high number of patients (2 out of 3 for those on a ventilator). There is a lot online about this and may help your understanding of what was happening.
Therapy mate. Whether you join a group, or are able to access some support through your GP or even the ICU you need to talk it out. I’ve done a year of PTSD therapy and my symptoms are better but not gone completely, however the therapy gives you the tools to manage what symptoms you die experience.
hi. Like you I had delirium and like you I have experienced distressing flashbacks subsequently. I have been lucky enough to have been given some techniques on managing them and I have some hand outs. If you DM me your email, I will email you the documents.. You may be showing signs of PTSD? see attached document. I would recommend you contact your ICU outreach team to discuss your experience and see if they can help. Regards< Pete
Hi Catfoot - I'm another one who suffered from these ' Fever Dreams / Delirium ' nightmares -In 2012 I'd been put into an induced coma after contracting sepsis and flown from Skye to Paisley [ as it was snowing in Inverness ] - my lungs , kidney [ I've only one ] then a few days later my heart all failed - the Doctors had told my wife to prepare the family for my death after fitting me with a defibrillator adding that should I live I'd be suffering from brain damage due to the length of time my heart had stopped - anyway cut a long story short I defied all the odds and survived and after 3 months I left hospital .
My family had been put through hell but the thing which had bothered me most were these vivid nightmares .
They're not like ordinary nightmares are they ? These things feel real and you can't forget them like actual nightmares , these things stay with you like memories .
In the dream I was sectioned by my GP - rescued from a mental hospital by an ex-work colleague only for him to hand me over to this mysterious gang who drugged me and raped me - they tied me up and were going to set the building on fire .
The dream went on and on - I was rescued again then found myself taken back to a hospital basement where I was kept prisoner by the gang - I won't bore you with any more but 9 years later I could tell you about my dreams scene by scene .
After leaving HDU I was put in a room of my own [ I was still very ill ] - a Consultant would come round to see me every day , one day I asked him if the hospital had a basement - then I asked him if I could have contracted sepsis after being raped - it seems funny now but he told me to report the story to the Police as soon as I got home !! Then the following day another Doctor came to see me asking if I could have dreamed this experience - I worked out the timeline from what I could actually remember - Fireworks Night at Dunvegan etc etc and realised that none of this had happened .
When I eventually returned home I'd be reminded of these nightmares through memory / flashbacks , even films I watched on TV - I couldn't escape them .
I didn't actually think about getting help until 3-4 months had passed , I felt I should be dealing with the situation on my own . I went to see my GP - she told me that there was now a school of thought that these dreams should be treated like PTSD - she made an appointment for me to see ' someone ' - then when the letter arrived it was from the Mental Health Hospital in Inverness - I thought I'd be seeing someone more local , I didn't want it on record that I was suffering from Mental Health issues so I threw the letter in the bin . Then 3 months later I went back to see my GP who arranged for a Psychologist to see me - I saw her twice but by then I felt there wasn't much she could do for me , it was something I had to deal with myself - it was probably the wrong thing to do but I left things there .
Like you, I suffered from some very real flashblacks but I have also made notes as to when they typically occur...if I am tired, a particular sound or a particular smell or even a colour!It does sound as if you have PTSD which is incredibly common for people who have been in ICU. Talk to your GP and see if there are any Talking Therapies near you or contact the ICU and see if they offer ICU Therapy...that was what I was offered within 6 months of discharged and it was really helpful.
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