What's a Do Not Resuscitate Order? Is it discontinuation of life support? Allow natural death?

[DivSin]

So,

My would-have-been husband and love of my life had contracted covid somewhere, back in February.

He apparently got a wrong negative RTPCR result while he was burning at 103 when he last talked to me and it was 17th Feb, probably. He had that kinda fever for 17 days already and seems like not before 20 did he go to hospital.

He was put on ventilator and sedated somewhere, I assume in March first week or before. I have not much info as he lives in NYC and me, in India.

In my last post, (I don't know how to link posts), I was unaware that he had covid. I was told by his company's HR head that it was anaphylaxis from vaccine. The source himself caught it and is no more. I assume, he was sick at the time he sent email to me that's why the incorrect information.

My person is still sedated abd doctors say that there's no or very slim chance of hum returning. Sigh....

I am informed by HR people of the acquiring company that his Do Not Resuscitate order is set for 31st August onward.

Please, tell me what you know about it. My person is an 8 pack abs fit guy who just turned 29.

In his reports, a bad H. Pylori infection is mentioned which is said to have weakened his immune system.

Infection is said to gave reached everywhere. I assume that its only life support that's keeping him going 'til they pull the plug last day, next month.

Does anyone return who is so far gone? Or, there's really no hope unless miracles happen.

Thanks in advance for your replies because I May get a very disturbing news and not come back or choose to reply.

Sorry, I really shredded. I had a bad covid too, and its affecting my recovery and mental state.

Kindly, share your experience. Thank you!

[Covidkid]

Hello… people do come back from such a severe attack of covid but it is hard for you to get that info as you are in different places! A DNAR is placed on a person when it is felt that attempting recuss would be in vain and that person would not survive the attempt of this! Try to speak to the hospital treating your loved one and I wish you all the best x

[DivSin in reply to Covidkid]

The hospital staff told me that due HIPAA guidelines they shall not reveal anything about a patient in their hospital to somebody who's not immediately related. Does DNR mean only that he won't be given a CPR in case of cardiac arrest? Or, does it also mean that he will be passively euthanized?

[DivSin in reply to DivSin]

Sorry, if I sound rude; when you're so hurt you cant think and empathise. Thank your answer! xx

[LeopardGecko in reply to DivSin]

My husband had a DNR put on him when he caught covid after being in hospital for another critical illness. My understanding is that it means that they will not do CPR if the person needs it but will still continue to do everything else they can. In my husband's case, they felt he was too weak to benefit from CPR had he needed it (thankfully this wasn't necessary). I am in the UK so I'm not sure if this differs in the US.

[DivSin in reply to LeopardGecko]

Thank you for writing your reply! So, it doesn't mean pulling the plug out, right?

[DivSin in reply to LeopardGecko]

But, who decides on a date and when? It must mean a threshold of hopelessness has reached after which a resuscitation effort will not only be futile but potentially fatal.

[LeopardGecko in reply to DivSin]

As far as I understand it, it does not mean 'pulling the plug out', just that should they need it, they wouldn't resuscitate.

I'm not sure how they decide a date on this, especially one in the future. For my husband, he had spent almost 3 months in ICU with critical illness and having been ventilated. He then caught covid. The anaesthetist told me that they had placed a DNR on him at that point as they felt he was too weak. They felt that it could lead to heart failure or life on a ventilator and so decided that from that point onwards, they would not perform CPR if needed.

[DivSin in reply to LeopardGecko]

Ah, I see. I think, from as much as law I understand of the state he is in, that his critical care doctor will convey his status to the closest kin he's appointed in his will in presence of two 2 gen physicians. Even he could have decided on a tentative plan in his will. I know he has a will but unfortunately, I am not that kin.

If his critical care doctor has decided a date, his kin can challenge it, which rather seems to have been accepted by the stressed out family.

But, if he has laid down a plan in his will, nobody can override it. Natural death in such circumstances is a federal fundamental right.

I can't believe, I am talking about this when I think of him as my own life.

[LeopardGecko in reply to DivSin]

It's a really difficult thing to think about. My husband was conscious at the time and I asked them not to tell him that he had a DNR. For us, it was the doctors that made the decision.

[DivSin in reply to LeopardGecko]

Sorry to ask, if I may, how bad was your husband's covid? Seems like big deal since he already had a lot going on. My person had just, H.Pylori but seriously, I think he had more stuff than just that and it's remained undiagnosed. I have witnessed him getting sicker by the day and my critical care doc friend says HP doesn't weaken immune system.

But, I for one didn't have anything else and within 3 days of getting fever I was sinking from covid on ventilator, so I have an idea of how fast and hard this virus attacks.

I'd not be here typing if the tripled dosage hadn't worked starting on 3rd day.

[LeopardGecko in reply to DivSin]

My husband was very lucky. Although he was very weak and had only just come off the ventilator after 3 months, he managed with just C-PAP and was more or less back to where he had been after about 2 or 3 weeks. I think because he was in hospital already, they were able to act fast. Even before they got the positive result back, they were already giving him various 'covid' drugs to try to act as soon as possible. One of his doctors did comment on how quickly he recovered. Due to his weakness, I think they were expecting things to be much worse than they ended up.

It sounds like you have been going through an incredibly tough time. Not only being sick yourself but having the worry of a loved one. I know it was hard for me not being able to visit my husband in hospital. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like for you to be in a completely different country and unable to get information straight from the medical staff.

I hope that your loved one begins to improve soon. I know from talking to others that it can be a very long journey.

[DivSin in reply to LeopardGecko]

Yes, it's really difficult when they say doctors don't have any hope or very dim hope but I have seen on here that people who were told had no hope to even survive the night turned around and are almost back to normal to share the inspiration with the struggling lot. Yes, it's so difficult that I don't even care if I recover well or not. But, im doing just one thing day and night- praying. I had go on ventilator myself praying to share his sufferings so that he doesn't die from it and it happened to me too! Now, I pray for him to survive too. I don't even bother if we will ever meet or he will ever remember me again, I just pray that he lives his life for he's too young, too smart and too generous to go just like that. I had no news from his side for over two months but I just somehow knew he is still there. My soul has a lil premonition that he'll survive this against all odds. After all, he was a US Marine and he beat death once before. Where's all that strength? Not all gone for sure.

Thank you for your reply. I hope my prayers will be heard.

[123Bereft]

As far as I am aware, in GB at least, a DNR means that he wouldn't be resuscitated, it doesn't mean that they will give up on him. Take care and all the best.

[DivSin in reply to 123Bereft]

Thank you for your reply. I'm just so torn apart rn. x

[123Bereft in reply to DivSin]

I know how you feel, my beloved partner has been in a minimal state of consciousness for 12 months now.

[DivSin in reply to 123Bereft]

Oh my goodness! Hugs to you. I wish life was a little less cruel on us...

[123Bereft in reply to DivSin]

Yes, much like you he was the love of my life, don't think he will ever be with me again. It still makes me sad every day.

[DivSin in reply to 123Bereft]

I can understand that and I know what it's like. I praying so hard for him and 29 is no age to even dream about that if he's that fit and served as marine. I'm praying for you.When I was starting to pray for him, me and my dad got moderate to severe covid and actually got out of it and almost back to ourselves now.

Prayers work. I hope they do miracles because i'm not praying, it's a penance.

[Dabofoppo]

A DNR just means that if he passes they won't attempt to resucitate him the positives of bringing him back outweigh the negatives of cpr and the trauma etc of bringing him back it can be massively painful bringing someone back. I hope he gets better for you it sounds like he has a lot to live for.

[DivSin in reply to Dabofoppo]

Thank you! I have no news since over a week now.