Being pushed to end of life care Covid

[Color27]

My mother was placed on a ventilator 12 days ago. She made small improvements. Her ventilator FiO2 was changed from 100 to now 60%. Her kidneys are working great. Couple days ago, they tried to stop her sedation and said she did not open her eyes like she used to the previous times. They did CT scan of her brain and found 2 clots. One of it was old and the other was new. Today they tried to hold her sedation again for a longer period of time (1 hour) and found that her pupils react, she has good gag reflex and responds to pain. But they said her X-ray still showed no improvements.

The doctor talked to us about her quality of life and preparing for end of life care. She’s only been on the ventilator for 12 days. I know a lot of Covid patients take a while to recover and wake up. I’ve seen stories here and elsewhere of people being on a ventilator for months. I feel like they are not giving her enough time. Her lab values are better. It’s very discouraging when I feel like my mother and our family is fighting and hoping but the doctors and nurses want to give up on her.

[Faithful2020]

Hi. I feel your pain. I truly do. My mom has been on a ventilator 15 days due to Covid pneumonia. Her x ray doesn’t show any improvement nor worsening. It’s a daily struggle to hear that she’s the same. She’s somehow managing to have stable vital signs but she’s on 70% ventilator oxygen. Her pulmonologist doesn’t give me a lot of hope. It can really turn good or bad at this point. There’s nothing they can do. But I have found it within my self to pray and truly believe that she will make it. I have also read so much and have been told my many nurses and doctors that if she can recover that it will take months before she does. Honestly they have not brought the possibility of ending her life regardless of the the lack of improvement. As a daughter, I can suggest you see if you can transfer her elsewhere if they really pressure you to do that. They cannot disconnect her without your consent. Keep fighting those daily emotions and the pain you feel. Believe and you can wait for a miracle. I’m doing the same and since I have started praying I have found myself to be a bit more calm and understand that this is a long process. I wish you the best and for your mom to recover and be another beautiful story of survival.

[Color27 in reply to Faithful2020]

Thank you and I hope for the best for your mom as well. This is a horrible disease and it breaks my heart that we can’t even be close to her to talk to her and hold her hand. If only I can take some of her pain away. My faith is the only thing that’s keeping me going. I will have a conference call with the doctor today. I’m praying and hoping for better news and if not, I’m praying for the strength to continue to fight for my mom.

[Faithful2020 in reply to Color27]

I actually was told about her quality of life not being good after this. Yesterday I got away with seeing her from a distance but I was allowed to go in. Doctor came to me and told me he didn’t think my mom would make it and that maybe it’s better to let her go. Of course, my heart stopped and broke down. However, the day before my mom was intubated she told me that everything was going to be okay and that she would be back soon. I told this to the doctor and said we are never disconnecting her. I don’t care how long this takes. If Jesus wants to take her, he will. We won’t! He seemed a little annoyed but of course, it’s not his loved one. He has never given me hope but somehow i have found it praying and truly believing. Miracles do happen and they happen so often that sometimes we miss them.

How’s your mama doing? I hope to read that she’s a little better

[Color27 in reply to Faithful2020]

15th day today and Her X-ray unfortunately showed no improvements and they noticed some subcutaneous emphysema on her chest and neck area. They were concerned that she might need a chest tube but later on in the afternoon decided to hold off and wait for another X-ray in the morning. Praying she won’t need it. She’s still unconscious and not responsive but they are able to wean off her sedative and pain meds to a much lower dose so she can hopefully show some signs that her brain is not damaged by the stroke. Doctor asked me today if she expressed any wishes in regards to how she wants to go. I told him that we’ve never talked about it because prior to covid she was a healthy woman with controlled hypertension. I hate that they always have to bring it up but I politely asked if they can please give her more time. Good for you for putting your foot down and making your wishes clear to him. I know sometimes doctors/nurses get annoyed but ur right, it’s not their loved one. Praying that God grant his mercy to our moms and heal them from their illness.

[Sonya1114]

Dear Color27 my dad just passed away from Covid complications after 30 days in ICU here in the states. I too feel the doctors pushed us to end his life, but we refused and that made them unhappy. Ultimately, they went on to try to revive him, but failed and pronounced him dead. It’s disappointing to loose a loved one to Covid, even more disappointing when the doctors give up while the patient is still fighting.. I feel the icu care in the states for COVID is far less than other parts of the world. At the end, I felt that my dad was being treated as another number of a statistic not a person..

[Color27 in reply to Sonya1114]

I’m so sorry 😭