Can anyone relate?

[Dailaann]

Hello! Can anyone relate? In January 2018, I was admitted to the hospital in septic shock. I spent 8 days on life support and another 10 days in the ICU. Prior to any of this I was always healthy and fit and here I am 5 months later trying to regroup. Basically I had a UTI in November that kicked this whole ordeal off. While the infection ravaged my system my liver failed and my kidneys narrowly escaped. I woke up ( this took days of my bf and nurses reminding me what happened) to complete devestation.

I could not feed myself, barely move, barely talk. I still to this day remember the vivid nightmares and just despair of being there. My already rocky relationship with my Mother and sister were forever ruined based on the way they handled me. Just a couple highlights, my Mother wanted to put me in nursing care, I am now 45, and my sister confiscated my wallet and phone. I was never deemed unfit in any way. So I eventually go home to my boyfriends, who has been really great through all of this, to recover. I had no clue how hard every step of the way would be. I remember getting home and just crying because i had learned how to be in the hospital but adapting to this new body was unreal. I quickly learned to walk again and within only three months my liver started functioning again. I completed physical therapy and at last dont have to go to the Drs all the time. I have heard soo many times how lucky I am and how no one thought I was gonna make it. I guess I took my good health for granted all along because I cannot believe the difference. When I first went home I was astouded I only weighed 107. This is not a popular problem to have but I have had to battle to get to 120. Naturally, most people I run into comment on it. My balance (used to be an athlete) is not anywhere it used to be. Last month I fell doing the simplest thing....i dont even want to bring up hair loss because it seems so vain but ive always had thick long hair. Tears. My legs and feet are partially numb now. No idea why. I dont know anyone who has ever had this and Im a private person anyways so this is brutal. I am finally seeking employment and cannot wait to put this behind me. If anyone had anything helpful to offer I would be greatful!

I am extremely fortunate and haven't lost sight of that. I do my best to be positive for my daughter's and keep improving everyday. Thank you for listening...

[Sepsur]

Hi there, just take it steady- they reckon it takes 10-14 days to recover from everyday you are on ICU.

Is there an ICUsteps meeting near you? I found it helpful. Loads of interesting info on web site inc. pdf on delirium

Link below:

icusteps.org/assets/files/b...

Best wishes with your on going recovery - self determination brings its own rewards.

[sheila21]

Hi Dailaan. I am about a month ahead of you, very similar problems except my kidneys failed and I had dialysis due to sepsis after food poisoning. The nightmares were so real I doubted everything and everybody, convinced I was being poisoned. The helplessness getting home was alarming! Like you I had lots of help from my other half. You were an athlete and twenty years younger than me so your future looks positive. I am working hard to regain my strength and nearly have my stamina back. Stay positive. My hair and nail loss was alarming but they are growing back. So we are lucky to be alive!! Xx

[bunnyrabbit1234]

Hi Dailaann at the start of 2015 I spent 15 days in an endused coma with sepsis pneumonia fluid on my lungs multi organ failure. A further 10 days in icu and a further 4and1/2 weeks in a ward. I remember the dreams still. It took me months to get my strength back. Still not 100% So be prepared for a bit of a long haul. All the best

[ianprothero]

Hi Dailaann,

Wow, you have been through the mill! I was in ICU for three weeks including 10 days in an induced coma following a very nasty road traffic incident in 2007. I went through sepsis, peritonitis, kidney failure and ARDS (acute respiratory disorder syndrome). The dreams, nightmares and fantasies you have been through are familiar to many of us - you are not alone. Great that you have a supportive partner - I am single and leant on friends and family very heavily.

It is a long haul, I had conselling (not enough!), try your GP see if you can get some on the NHS. I was VERY determined to get through the physical and mental side and move to life as I had before the crash - it was hard work but worth it - don't give in.

Your experiences in that terrible world are something that only those who have been through it will have a clue - but there are sympathetic and empathetic folk who you can share with. ICUsteps have a number of drop in centres where people can meet and share, I would have loved to have had access to one of those, I felt very lonely and isolated as I had no one to relate too.

Even after 11 years I have echoes of my time in ICU but I live a very happy life. It sounds weird but you and I have and so many others have lived through sights and experiences that are unique to us - I regard it as a privilege (I said it was weird!), one I wouldn't wish on anyone but YOU are very special to have got through as you have