Anxiety.

[lovemyheart]

Im going thru so much anxiety due to an unbelievable amount of stress. The husband has been out of work a month and we are behind on bills, my daughter is getting serious dental work done, my son has RA, and im concerned with my bleeding and aps issues. I saw my GP today because as i posted i have this warm sensation in my chest plus my heart keeps pounding. The dr did an ekg which was fine but is sending me for an echo. My bp is always low today it was high. He said if it is anxiety and not the heart he will try antianxiety meds. Has anyone ever used them? Did it work?

[KarenOR]

Bills are easy ring up your utility companies and explain to them what is happening and ask for for a short term reduction in payments due to the reduction in wages always ask to speak to a line or department manager though, ask the DWP if they can help same with the council for housing costs and council tax relief. Take a little of the stress away. I know how hard it is with stress levels I am a single mum I work part time though last year I had to have 5 months off work due to a stroke, I have two children one of whom is ADHD and can push my stress levels to the limit. Dealing with life is hard I learned to step back and breathe look at the whole picture and deal with one thing at a time. Untility companies will help I had £100 taken off my heating bill because I was in home more than normal over winter last year plus put on a list so I don't get cut off because of reduction in wages.

Everything after that will f all into place work through things one at the time as a family, take the stress off a little. Antianxiety tablets are beta blockers never taken them as my doctor wont give them out as he thinks throwing pills at family life don't help, stess management is where he sent me.

[Dagen]

I never liked anti-anxiety meds because they always seem to make my chronic fatigue so much worse. For some reason even the lowest doses would make me feel like I took a handful of sleeping pills (emphasis added!). I would personally start off with a very low dose until you know how your body will react.

[Lucky67]

I agree with KarenOR -you need to tackle the issues and medication isn't the long term solution...but if you can't face with what you have to do to deal with in the short term it can definitely help you manage to deal with the issues and find coping strategies...

I've had anti-depressants once in the past when I was going through a v. stressful 3 months of my life...I got myself into a situation where I just had too much to do including one big thing that once I got it done (and only I could do it) the pressure would reduce tremendously. I went to GP for help when I nearly had a meltdown in Tescos - the cashier was chatting to the person in front of me....my heart was pounding, I couldn't breath and really really thought I was going to lose it and have a complete breakdown ....could feel the scream 'I don't have time for this' building up inside -and once I screamed it would have opened the flood gates...the knowledge that the drugs would help (and it was going to get better) got me through it...as soon as the big thing was done I stopped the drugs ...

As to beta blockers - a friend told me about some 'fantastic' tablets prescribed to her to help her through a really important interview - so I went to GP to get some for my first big important presentation - was shocked they were beta blockers and it took a bit of a battle but had got it into my head that I couldn't do it without them ...got them and they worked wonders all nervousness gone ... so later when I had to do a bigger more important presentation I could do it without them...

Sorry rambling - what I am trying to say that medication can get through a short term issue - or even help you to get on top of your current situation - but probably not the best long term solution...

[lovemyheart]

Thank you for responding. Ive never taken anything more than vitamins (except the baby aspirin im on). I have called my utilities as im a month behind, but they dont care they want full payment this month. I have to talk to the bank this week about my mortgage. I dont know what they do about that. (Im in the US by the way). My husband is supposed to go back to work the end of next month. This is why im so panicky. Plus i may not have insurance. I had heart surgery 8 yrs ago but i have a valve problem which is why i went to the dr because my poor heart has been racing like crazy. I did tell him i have a lot going on and maybe thats why. So he ordered an echo to make sure the valves are ok, and said if i still feel anxious a antianxiety of some kind for now.

[GinaD]

IMHO anti anxiety meds and such are totally appropriate and useful to deal with short term anxiety and stress -- and it certainly looks as if you have stress attacking you from many angles.

I am currently not under any acute stress triggers, but I have delt with such in the past. I recently heard on a TED talk (from last August I think?) that simple changes in posture and conscious breathing can have profound effects on levels of stress hormones in the blood -- as in measurable differences after just 30 seconds to 2 minutes of "erect" "open" posture (sitting or standing erect, legs and arms not crossed, but rather in an outward pose) or after 2 minutes of mindful "belly breathing." ) (On a Dr. Oz show yesterday the doc suggested that you go into the bathroom and shut the door to do your breathing for 1 -2 minutes so no one will bother you.)

Good luck.I do hope that things for you and your family will turn around soon. Take care. You're in my thoughts.

Gina

[lovemyheart]

Thank you Gina. Very true just to get a few minutes of peace. Im a woman of faith and sometimes just managing a few minutes prayer time calms me. Im just so rattled inside. My husband has a very la-di-da attitude towards everything, probably because ive always been the one to handle everything.

[lovemyheart]

Thank you, thoughts and prayers are always needed and appreciated. My husband deals with stress in the ostrich method...sticks his head in the sand because he cant deal. (I refer to him as my rock of jello). He doesnt like talking about money issues, and changes the subject or goes for a ride. Unbelievable

[MaryF Administrator]

Hi there, I hope you are feeling a little better, please use this time to call in any favours off trusted friends to help you go through paperwork, make calls and generally bolster you confidence, things will get better I am sure. Please also bear in mind meditation and breathing exercises and also yoga, they certainly make me feel stronger when I am up against it. Mary F x

[lovemyheart]

Very true Mary. I have my kids who are my joy in life. We got a notice today from the bank and my husband and i dont get along so i dont know if thats Gods way of saying "move on". I defenitely am praying for strength and courage to do the right thing for me and my children. Thank you Mary, i appreciate your support. God bless you...Teresa

[MaryF Administrator in reply to lovemyheart]

Sorry it is so stressful - please ring your friends and air your problems to close ones, they may offer solutions. All the best for you and your children. Mary F x

[lovemyheart]

Thanx Mary. So true. Id b lost without my friends. Thank you.

[KarenOR]

Lovemyheart I think you need to tell your husband to grow a pair and help you del with the money side of it, no good putting his head in the sand because when he comes up for air the bills are still going to be saying hello. Stress is a rotten thing but sharing the load is less stressful to your health.

If your husband want to take part in the household bills then send him a letter and a bill of your own for all the chores, also the bill for balancing the books making sure things are paid on time.

Is there a debt management phone line you can ring to get help.

[lovemyheart]

Hi Karen...thank you for your reply. I had gone off on him this morning as i dont know what hes thinking. I really dont want to be married to him anymore as he is totally unsupportive, yet i have few options as my health has gotten quite serious within the past year. Im going to talk to the bank to see what our options are, and pray pray pray for God to give me strength and wisdom in this mess to do whats best for me and our children...Teresa

[Suzypawz]

Anxiety can cause a lot of stuff, I do hope things start to get better for you, I get the pounding heart & the heart beat really loud in my ears & actually see the sheets or clothes moving up & down with it! I feel my heart is going to burst out of my body at times!!! I've been told this is normal due to the stress Ive been under recently too........I suppose it's the cause?

I do hope you find a balance with it all or he starts to listen to you at least, it is the worst thing to feel you are alone with stress.........I hope you find some answers xx

[lovemyheart]

Thank you Suzy...my bp is normally 100/60 to 120/70. The other day when i had gone to the dr it was 148/90!! The dr told me if it keeps up he will put me on anxietymeds if need be because i told him i have severe stress right now. I went home and said to myself, i keep struggling to keep my home and my marriage together and know what? The house is 70 years old, the husband could care less about anything and if i get myself sicker my kids will be without a mom. So i prayed, crocheted, and for now im going thru stuff i dont need to see if i can sell it. And im going to put one foot in front of the other each day...all the best to you too...Teresa

[Suzypawz in reply to lovemyheart]

I know how you feel, as I'm sure you read my posts........I was there,had to put things into perspective but with me I knew it was the only path I could take to be able to keep some of my sanity!!

I love my husband....but I cant live with him, not yet anyway, we are working at it, but I am taking baby steps & I'll see where it will go, may take 6 mths may take 10 years or forever....dont know?? all I do know is I couldn't stay with him when I found things out & this was our only option....but I know it isn't easy for everyone....it wasn't for me, but in the end I felt I had no choice.

I have to keep selling stuff on ebay! there was once he was getting worried as he thought his guitars might end up on there!!! as if??!!!!!!

I hope you start to feel better soon, sort stuff out, try to talk it out with him & make him see how you are feeling, remember to get yourself well first over everything tho', then hopefully you will feel stronger with everything else going on too......

Thinking of you x

[lovemyheart in reply to Suzypawz]

Thank you Suzy. It is hard, because were together thirty years. But some things, while i can forgive, i dont know if i can shake nor be able to trust again. Plus basically ive been a single mom all these years in every sense of the word. I do all the dr/ hospital things without him and even when our daughter was in the hospital for three days i never left her side and he never visited. Its just plain sad after awhile... peace and happiness to you too Suzy, thank you for letting me vent and for your support...Teresa

[Suzypawz in reply to lovemyheart]

Thats ok, any time..........

I have been with mine for 25 years, we were going to renew our vows this year........

At least mine has seen through me doing this all he did wrong & he wants to right it...or at least try, which is why I will give him the benefit of the doubt & a second chance, some things I cannot forget tho' or forgive & I know it will put a wall often between us, but still we will see.........

Hugs, Sue xx

[lovemyheart]

Yes i know what you mean. One step at aoure in my prayers for things to work out the way they are supposed to.....Teresa

[lovemyheart]

Its supposed to be one step at a time youre in my prayers

[popshaw21]

hi i too suffer badly with anxiety and have been prescribed with many anti-anxiety medications,but after a while your body gets use to them and stop working.There are over the counter herbal medications,and i found "valerian" helps me without any side effects which you get from anti-anxiety meds.give them a try i highly recommend them.I hope things improve for you.best wishes

popshaw21

[lovemyheart]

Thank you Popshaw... im not taking anything at all and i agree with you, your body just gets used to it anyway. Mine seems to be situational anxiety, so for now when i feel a bout of it i pray, and if im not at work i crochet to calm my nerves. Just going through a rough patch. Thank you for your reply and i wish you all the best...Teresa