Lost Memory

[avilio54]

What if my mother said "I lost my memory" How can I deal with her saying that?

She is 86 years old being very dependent on my sister who is a "power of attorney" living off her life savings?

[HollyHeski Administrator]

Hi, yes a very difficult question, I've reread your posts and I'm not sure if you have been diagnosed with Hughes/APS?

Are you worried your mother has this disease?

I think you need to discuss all this with your sister and even with all your health problems see how you can all cope together?

It's very distressing watching a loved one 'losing their memory' there are society's out there to support your mother, as well as you and your sister.

[lupus-support1 Administrator]

First, I would take her to see a physician to run blood tests to ensure she isn’t deficient in anything & too ensure she is healthy. APS can cause memory issues.

Ensure she is eating well & healthy! I have recently posted 2 articles relating to nuitrition and dementia in LUpus Patients Understanding & Support here on HU.

Second, I would take her to see a geriatrician who, with an occupation therapists, will perform the necessary mental health tests.

You will then know the situation. You can also help her if she has poor memory by making noticed or naming cupboards & help her to “remember” what things are eg TV remote or other objects.

She should not go out alone but you can also get her to wear a medical bracelet with her details etc

Contact any Alzheimer or Dementia Societies or Charities.

This is very difficult & painful to see one’s mother struggling to remember. You can also contact care-givers groups to talk about your situation. This is very important for you & your sister to talk about how this affects you both. You may experience all kinds of emotions and distress. This is normal, so don’t neglect yourself!

With good wishes,

Ros

[MaryF Administrator]

I think if you could look at local support in your area, your GP surgery will have some ideas for signposting, and also perhaps having a wider family meeting to see who can take it in turns to give you and those closest to the situation some respite care at times, and also general support. MaryF