has anyone thought of SURROGACY, instead of going through another miscarriage?

[Skyllark]

[Hidden]

I did but for me it still leaves the possibility of passing on the genes... I personally don't think I can take that chance. It's a very, very personal decision but definitely an option...

Take care

Tx

[momtomany]

I have also thought of it, but I have decided to be thankful for the 3 kids I have at the time being. Down the road I would prefer to adopt, but I do get sad when I realize that another pregnancy would not be in my best interest.

Would you be using someone you know, or finding one through an agency?

[Hidden]

I thought about it, like exploring all options, but as two cousins and recently my best friend have been very happy adopting, I think I'd go that way too. I'm desperate for children and not to bothered how it happens, but recon I could more easily explain to future child adoption - its obviously personal. I've had loads of miscarages but all before the 12th week, and managing to tell myself that only the 2 since diagnosis count towards future problems. My husband is not entirely on board with adoption yet, so we will be having another go - I think if I had a late miscarriage though I would stop trying.

surroguccy is only something I'd consider if I had relative in mind

But neither my sister or sister in law would be happy to do this and most of my cousins have had fertility problems.

Good luck whatever you choose

[starships]

My husband and I had already decided that in an ideal world we would have one of two biological children and then adopt. This was way before we decided to even try to conceive.

If I had the money (and we are saving very hard for surrogacy) I would definitely go down this route as even though I am very happy to adopt I still have an overwhelming desire for a biological child.

In the meantime we are carrying on ourselves but it gets harder and harder each month as more of our friends have children and we don't get pregnant.

Unlike the others I would be happier for someone I did not know to carry my child as I think if you go through COTS or surrogacy UK then the person really wants to help a childless couple and you would have less problems.

It is also really nice to hear a positive adoption story as I only know two people and it didn't work out.

Good luck in whatever you chose and I would love to know what you decide and the outcome x

[Hidden in reply to starships]

The main reason I'd want someone I know is possibly a bit daft in most people's opinion, my mum was thought to be infertile and one of the first women to be offered IVF, but decided to adopt - she went on to have 2 kids, and a few miscarriages, but I remember from a young age her reasoning against IVF and its stuck with me. She thought it was a wonderful thing that would help many people but was worried that 'god' or 'fate' was giving her so much trouble because there was a child somewhere that needed her. It might sound stupid, but if suragacy was for me, I get the feel the universe would have given me someone.

If I had a desperate desire for a biological kid, I could happily tell myself the universe had conspired to make science create what I needed. (It sounds really crazy I know), but my burning desire is simply to have children.

PS, just come back from visiting VERY happy best friend and her little adopted daughter, she considered suragacy with her sister after still born twins on IVF, but the following

Year both her and her sister had mastectomies. Her adoption story has been quick and easy, while both my cousins had quite a few problems - all three took different routes, but now ALL are blissfully happy. Hope you too get the family you wish for.

[kathyD64]

Hi this was something i considered as my sister was more than happy to do this for me after i had to be sterilised at 26 because i nearly died having my daughter at 30 weeks gestation. We went through COTS etc and the professor in Bristol at the time needed his whole team to support this ( im talking over 20 yrs ago now) but then it was not meant to be as they had ethical issues with it - such a shame my sister had 4 children naturally and wanted to do this for me so the baby would biologically be mine and my husbands.

We could have followed it up in London but i choose to focus on my daughter but often wander about it - with proper counselling & support i dont think people should be denied the opportunity to have their own biological child kathy xx

[momtomany]

I just wanted to give some words of encouragement and hope.

In my 20's I had over a dozen early miscarriages, and some were like really bad periods while a few were far enough along to recognize the fetus. I had one child in my teens, and she was induced due to my placenta going bad, but I really wanted another child since I was an adult and living a stable life.

No doctors wanted to investigate the miscarriages since they felt I was too young to be trying anyway.

In the spring of 2005 I had my last miscarriage, and 2 months later I got pregnant and now have a son. I have also had another child since then, although we both nearly died the last time around. I wasn't diagnosed with APS until last September, so I struggled through without so much as an aspirin!

My husband, who is the father of the 2 younger kids, also believed he was infertile. For whatever reason, the minute we gave up, things worked out.

I know everyone is different, but if someone would have told me 10 years ago that I'd have 2 more kids, I would have never believed them. I hope one day some of you can also experience what I have. I will keep you all in my prayers.

[KallyFowler]

All people know that surrogacy is pretty good idea for gay couples. Even the Bible say that it is possible to do. I read a lot about it on ivf-sunrise.net and it is pretty good. They provide a good service. I think that it is a good idea for those who are not possible to born kids. My cousine also told a few things about that. It is bad that Thai laws changed but there must be solution. Like Russia..etc.