Disclosing

[Lightbulb1]

Does anyone else feel like they give there power away when the tell someone the are hiv +

I'm so sick of hearing "sorry to hear that. " And have you got support. You should check out forums.

Or support groups. Fuck man. I just wanna breath and I can't. I was not in an amazing place before but at least I had that sense of self inside. I'm so bored of feeling vulnerable, I miss the person who was ignorant and didn't need support. I've tried so many things to feel normal, I miss alcohol but that chapter has had to close. I mean if I was in my 40's I wouldn't care. But I'm 23.

[Griffon]

When I was diagnosed I made the decision not to disclose it to a single person because once you have told one you have told a hundred . And once you have said something it can not be unsaid .

It was partly to avoid other people's reaction as you describe .

Why don't you feel normal ? Taking a couple of pills once a day is nothing .

[Mindset-change]

"I mean if I was in my 40's I wouldn't care. But I'm 23." Young sir, 40's is not old these days. LOL

Knowing at 23 only means that you've got enough time to deal with this and live a long and healthy life. Yeah, it's going to be shitty for a while but you really could have a worst illness.

Having HIV is very much a psychological mindfield more than anything else. Now is the time to hold your mirror up and see what needs changing with your mentality.

You'll feel like a victim now, but you can change that.

"I miss the person who was ignorant and didn't need support." I understand you feel that way, but ignorance is never good for the 'soul'. Most of us on this site was ignorant.

You're alive, healthy and young -- young enough to grow and learn. Now go live...

[Lightbulb1 in reply to Mindset-change]

40 is not old, but to be diagnosed at 40 I mean, you've kinda had time so suss out life and relationships so hiv doesn't stop you from living the life you want. Being diagnosed at 22. I feel crushed.

[RuthWebbVet in reply to Lightbulb1]

I was 31 when I was diagnosed 24 years ago. It was quite devastating and it took time to come to terms with it. Nowadays with the availability of different drug regimes so that most people can find a combination that suits them, it may be easier to get to the point where it is no longer the main thing you focus on in you life. That took me at least 5 years to achieve. I chose to tell all my family and as many of my friends as i felt comfortable with at the time. Nowadays I rarely tell anyone - but that is more because it isn't something I think is so important to bring up. I now have 2 girls in their late teens and am looking at the next phase in my life! Maybe I'll get back into activism or something! Look for the good things you have and work with those. You are still the same person but with more knowledge about yourself! Go forward in strength