SVT, PVC, PAC

[lpinck]

I’m a full time ER nurse with multiple health issues including heart disease, anxiety, panic disorder, PTSD, and depression. I’m 28 years old. I often wonder if nursing was the right career path. I always wanted to help people and feel like I was making a difference but at what cost? My mental and physical health has been suffering for months. I have panic attacks on the way to work and often times while I’m at work and just hide in the bathroom so no one knows. I continue day in and day out with physical health problems that have led me to my anxious being. In short, I used to be a happy person, at least from what I can remember. I’m living each day to just “stay alive” keep working to make the money I need, keep breathing to be the person society needs me to be, keep breathing to uphold my “resume” keep breathing to be the daughter/girlfriend/sister/employee life needs me to be, keep breathing to keep my rent, keep breathing to continue living plife when it feels like there’s nothing worth living for. I’m watching myself in a movie, motion by motion, play by play. Does it ever stop? Does it ever end? Is there a happy ending?

[meadfoot]

So sorry to hear you are feeling so unwell and struggling with it all. It’s far from easy dealing with health issues alone without the added pressure of a stressful job. Have you got support from your medics, family, friends and employer as this has to be a partnership, non of us are an island. Are you trying to cope alone rather than gaining support from others. Sometimes we just have to ask and stop trying to be all things to all people, that is unsustainable when we are in a health hole.

It may work better if you can break things down into manageable chunks, ie taking your most concerning health issue first and ensuring you have all

the support you need with it if that is possible. Tackling work may be next to ensure you get some help and yes I realise how hard that is to open up to as we are concerned about any repercussions, but the repercussion of not saying anything could exacerbate your health issues further.

Non of this is easy but I have found over years of poor health Svt etc etc like you, that trying to tackle everything at once is often impossible, bite size chunks work much better.

Everyone here will understands your predicament as we will all have been there in some shape or form. Chin up things will improve if you take this by the scruff of the neck and put together a plan of action. Big hug sent to you, x

[BRHow]

I’m fully convinced that Having SVT and AF have made me a little like you over the years. These conditions truly mess with your head and make you feel like how your feeling. I am the strongest minded person, but living life knowing attacks can hit anytime is miserable. I at times think I am even off due to fear of an attack.

You are not alone. I promise you that. I’m sorry you feel so down.

On a brighter note, if that is you in the picture, you sure are hot. God may have given people like you and I the shaft when he was handing out hearts, but he sure didn’t hold back giving the person in that pic Some Top 10 beauty. Live it up girlfriend... you got this.

[Jonp]

Yes, there is a happy ending but you have to look for it. You can't do it on your own so talk to someone close to start then think about telling everyone so they can build the support you need. If you had a friend/relative with these problems, would you want them to hide their fears from you?

Good luck

[Loversghost]

Hi,

I too am a nurse and suffered with anxiety issues especially at work after my mother died 35 years ago (she was in her 50’s). I of course cannot know, but I do think the stress in your job must be contributing in no small part to your anxiety and depression (especially given the current pandemic) and where you work. How supportive are your managers and colleagues? How supportive is your GP and family and friends? I ask because mine weren’t and I felt completely on my own with it. I’d go so far as to say my colleagues made it worse, by mocking me behind my back. I’m guessing you might be in the US? I think if you possibly can you should take some time out to assess how you feel about nursing? There are plenty of nursing roles which are just as fulfilling but not quite as harrowing. I have a colleague who worked in PICU at a large London hospital and she couldn’t handle it so she left her job for the sake of her mental health. There’s no shame in it - you are what’s important. I think in nursing we are guilt tripped too easily - we want to help others and it’s often at our own expense so (and I know it’s a cliché) but be kind to yourself. Talk to someone like a counsellor or therapist and take some time out from your job if you can. It will only get worse if you don’t address it. Good luck 😊

[lpinck in reply to Loversghost]

Yes you are correct I am in the US, and I do feel guilty not being able to handle a job I signed up for, I signed up for knowing I needed to care for people and save their lives. It’s just hard when you don’t even know how to control or handle your own. I’ve looked into therapists but due to the pandemic it has delayed the process. I’m just completely confused on what to do. I’m not sure if I’m cut out for the ER with my own health issues in the middle of a pandemic. I try and make it work and half the time I think I’m okay and love it and the other half I’m extremely unhappy and have panic attacks about it. But I also worry as to what it will do to my resume and my work portfolio to just leave a job under a year. That’s one of my main concerns as a nurse, wanting to build my resume and not make it look like I jump ship and am not a reliable employee. But I think I would really benefit from a normal 9-5 nursing job. However there aren’t a lot of those out there. Plus with the pandemic those types of jobs are furloughed and/or laid off. I just feel stuck and my mental health is suffering from it. Thank you for responding as a fellow nurse. I just wish I had the right answer.