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All change again

Latest blog from: hopegoesupanddown.blogspot.com - a record of the hope, terror and unknown future faced when the one you love most in the world suffers a brain injury.

Yesterday was the quarterly review meeting at the rehab hotel to reflect on the past three months of Jake's rehab and forward to the next stage of the journey.

It was a full house with all interested parties represented and I really should have anticipated what happened next; I was well and truly 'managed' in this meeting so all of you well meaning folk who have been saying "you must look after yourself if you're going to be there for Jake....yada, yada, yada...blah, blah" will be pleased to hear that I am being bullied into doing so. That's me told.

As far as news from the meeting goes, in the context of the overall rubbishness of what has happened to my beautiful man, the news is all good. In the words of the ward manager (who is amazing, but is only 26 - I'm so old!) "he's really flying at the moment".

This progress brings bitter sweet news; because he is responding so well to the rehab environment the current forecast is that he'll be in a residential rehab programme for another 6-12 months. Oh...goody (not).

Alright smarty pants, you can stop shaking your head, I know. The logical part of me does see that this is amazing news and I'm sure somewhere inside me this logical side is whopping in celebration. At the moment though it is being drowned out by the part of me that wants my husband home so we can be together again the way we are meant to be. Why are the right decisions such terribly hard ones?

So, we move forward and it's all change again. On the 20th December Jake will be moving to a transitional unit that is based less than 8 miles away and smack bang in the middle of a busy town. The unit itself is more like a shared house than the current place, which we call the Rehab Hotel, but feels more like a halls of residence. The new place will henceforth be known as the student house, which I am told is what it used to be before the Shelley Park Neuro Care Centre bought it. They described it as 'supported shared living', but I prefer student house!

The focus for this move will be on transferring what Jake has learnt so far into real life in our local community and this will hopefully be the last stop before home on Jake's journey; I can't tell you how much we would both love to fast forward to that point.

In other news, my amazing husband sent me flowers and chocolates today with a note which read "To my wife Charlie, I know this is hard but I love you very much. From Jake". According to Sister in Law, who helped him to order them, these are his own words. Could I be any luckier?

In even more news, two members of the Imp Club came at the weekend and spent hours and hours of their own time welding and grinding to finish the Imp of Doom's body work and all it cost me was lunch! Lovely people, extraordinary generosity.

Read more about our journey here: hopegoesupanddown.blogspot.com

4 Replies

I feel, understand and admire you so much my husband and love of my life also suffered a brain injury! I just wanted to say how i admire ur strength x


thank you x


Thanks for the update Dorsetcharlie, like Kblue and your good self my wonderful husband has a BI, it IS a long road, don't rush it honey. Go at the pace the professionals, and of course Jake wants to go at. Any time we've rushed things it's bitten us on the bahookie BIG time. I would never have considered myself a patient person but this has definitely taught me patience, hang on in there girl - and go on, share, what have they told you that YOU have to do???


ha ha - I bet you can guess! I have to:

- make time for me (enforced; providing extra weekend care, whether I want it or not!)

- make sure I don't lose contact with my friends

- stop relying on goodwill

- stop trying to be super woman and trying to do everything myself

- blah, blah, blah!


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