obsessed by grudges and anger for people

[janey61]

Hi I havnt been here for a long time , my life is very much dominated by my son 28 who had a stroke aged 7 weeks , I have tried everything to help him and to encourage him to be positive about his life which is very hard as he faces so many challenges

I see his biggest disability that affects his whole life sometimes ever minute of every day is the anger and grudges he holds towards people that he sees are unjust and have wronged him . Often authority figures , currently the managers of his care company .

He rings me a few times a day and has very little conversation mainly talking about how hes going to get revenge or get these people out of the company .I constantly try to give him perspective , but he is so angry he says he has PTSD and I believe he has cptsd but struggling to get it doiagnosed . He is obsssessed with talking about these people and how I must not talk to them ..this is difficult as I manage his care and need to talk to certain people at times . I try not to lie to him .

He bullies me, and is abusive ..I dont see him currently but speak on phone every day more than once as he needs a lot of reassurance , things explaining and sometimes we may share a mutual love of ancestry . He has always been very controlling and also has autism traits .

I am 62 , have very little fun as I have ME , anxiety and depression ... I want to be stronger . Have tried so much social worker knows the situation .

Just wondered if anyone else has experience of this obssesion for people they do not like ... hes been like it ever since he was at nursery school which is why he cant go to groups or clubs .

I am so so so tired by it ,,and feel for him as it really is Ruining his life .

please be kind ,I have tried tough love , nothing works ..he had frontal lobe damage .

thankyou

Virginia

[Chat2U]

Hi,Can you find a way to resolve of the issues he's talking about so he can see progress and feel less frustrated?

[janey61 in reply to Chat2U]

I keep trying but all I do is frustrate and agitate him ...

[Chat2U in reply to janey61]

Is he angry because he wants them to change something and they're ignoring or dismissing his requests?

And if so, Is there a way for him to have more control over his life than he has now, so he feels more empowered, more respected, more understood, less frustrated, less angry?

[Joroo]

can you get a referral to a neuro psychologist, to help with both understanding and advice, they may also be able to help with the PTSD

[Cinderella18]

I agree with Joroo. A neuropsychologist can work with the patient by unpicking the unhealthy thoughts and behaviours and then gradually to create newer and better ones. It would take some time to do but worth it.