Too much crying!

[Chocolatesprinkles]

Hi all. It's nearly 2 years since my ABI - which I know can still be early days in many ways. I just seem to have hit a stage where I cry alot and easily feel quite low/upset. There are things which I am finding difficult at the moment and much is out of my control but I have a very supportive family and a few really good friends who are great. I just don't want to keep worrying them. Has anyone else had this and got through it - or learned ways to manage it?

[cat3]

Could you still be struggling to accept your new limitations m'love ?

The acceptance period for me was around the same 2 year mark and only after I began looking forward to a new, very different, future could I let go of grieving for the past.

It's a natural and understandable process.

Stay around and maybe talk some more....

Cat. x

[Chocolatesprinkles in reply to cat3]

Even though I don't want to admit it, I think this probably has a lot to do with things. I can't really remember much of the early days but for at least the last year I've been trying to not to focus on what I've lost or what has changed in a negative way.

[LostGenius in reply to Chocolatesprinkles]

I think the first 2-3 years are the hardest! Heck I can hardly remember much from those years of my recovery… almost didn’t make it through that. Just remember what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Everyone feels low, depressed and piastres du to end it all.., that is the destructive nature of a brain injury.

Just know that most of here know exactly what you are going through and are happy to listen even if it is just for you to vent about how upset/depressed/angry you are.

Hang in there! It will get better ❤️‍🩹 (even if it feels hopeless right now) as the brain 🧠 is resilient! It just needs time to heal.

[BabsGregs]

my accident was over 14 years ago now and I still get angry and grieve for the old me, I have lost my short term memory, so when my 2 beautiful dogs died, I couldn't understand where they were when I woke up every morning, missing my morning walks with them, they are the reason I managed to walk again having had both legs shattered in the accident, I now cry every day and feel so lost, it has been 2 years and I feel lost and empty too. I allow myself to cry a bit and the keep myself busy, setting things to do like washing and ironing, doing house work, having a friend to go for a coffee with, I also do exercise 3 times a week at a gym and have met some amazing people who are use to my limitations and tears.

My sayings now are "Don't fret the small stuff and one step at a time". Sending hugs, be kind to yourself. xxxxxx

[Annabella1976]

I had my stroke back in 2012 and still can’t. Walk all my friends stopped calling only for my family I’d be lost I get depression and anxiety when I have to stand with the turner hope this finds you well

[Jonty77]

I have lots of emotional lability. I’m two years in too. It happens less now but, especially if I’m fatigued, I may just suddenly feel sad and start sobbing. Sometimes the slightest thing can set it off. It might be something on tv touches a nerve (I can’t bear anyone suffering now), it might be thoughts of missing the old me and my old life, sometimes I just don’t know why.

Sometimes I can suddenly snap out of it if distracted for a moment and then I may or may not slip right back in. What I realise now is if it happens it means I’ve got overwhelmed and I need to go somewhere quiet and remove stimulus and do one of a variety things I have to help reset.

In short, you are not alone.

[WonderingWanda]

hi Chocolatesprinkles, I am with you too. Coming up to a year for me, so still early in my discovery of the new me. But the new me is a cry baby. The slightest thing can set me off: a poem, a kind word, a sad film. I even cry with joy sometimes! I see a beautiful view or just feel lucky to be alive. Just roll with it. Don’t fight it. The emotions have to go somewhere. Xx

[FiHut]

I hate how unpredictable I am my mood can change so fast - from seething to crying in an instant. I am frustrated with all the people who say how well I am looking . My husband is now my carer when most of all I want to go back to being his lover.

[Chocolatesprinkles]

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate you all taking time to reply and being so honest.

[skydivesurvivor]

only good side to my brain injury is having lost so many emotions am incapable of depression thank god!

[catrabb1t]

I love your name!

I am 25 months so similar time scale. I have found the 18 months to now the most difficult in terms of emotional wellbeing. I also have a lot to deal with that is not under my control and these definitely contributed to the depression that slowly grew. At the two year mark i felt quite desperate and very anxious about my future. Fir the past month I have been spaced out whilst I have worked hard at reframing my thoughts. I have opened up more to my family who are also supportive (but they can never know how I feel and they are not the best at supporting me because of their own responsibilities). Opening up did help me though.

I think the two year mark in recovery is quite significant. I felt like I had done the best I could implementing the strategies for high levels of fatigue and I understood the need to accept the 'new me' (a phrase that used to frighten me). I felt that I had been patient. I did not realise that I also expected there would be more improvement at the two-year mark. When two years arrived it did feel like a bull dozer. But as I explain it was a journey of several things that got on top of me.

The only thing I have managed to do which has helped is i put a lot of effort into reframing my thoughts. If I catch myself thinking negatively or worrying I challenge the thought and reframe it to be more realistic or more positive.

I also think repeated reassuring though at night with head on my pillow (I am safe, I am fed, I am warm) and in the morning with head on my pillow (I will be ok today). All I can say is something so easy to do seems to have helped me a lot... it really does!

[Chocolatesprinkles in reply to catrabb1t]

Thank you so much for your reply. I will read it again properly tomorrow but I just wanted to say how much it resonates with me.

[Steveau]

Crying uncontrollably is normal.

I still get it 21 years into my ABI.

You will get used to it, and find ways to accept it. Please don’t worry about it.

I eventually realised that in my case, I can concentrate on feeling the sense of release , and I generally feel better after it’s happened than I did immediately before.

Maybe it is a mechanism that our brain uses in the process of moving our recovery forward.

If you find it embarrassing, don’t.

Other people who are not experiencing your ABI have no idea so their reactions are no use to you at all.