Thinking in longhand is exhausting, isn't it?

[PurpleOverlord]

I'm fairly sure a lot of you folk will understand this, so I'm posting my thoughts. Which are in longhand these days. I hadn't realised this until I was taking my dog out for a walk, and going through the long list of things I needed in my head as got ready in the hall.

Have I got the poo bags?

Yes, they're here in my pocket.

Have got my keys?

Yes, they're here in the other pocket.

Have I got my hat and gloves?

Ah, no, need to pop back and grab those. Good job I haven't put my muddy boots on yet.

Ah, I don't have the dog's lead or harness. Need to grab those too.

Have I got my phone?

Yes, got that.

Okay, let's get the lead on. Why is the poor dog getting so impatient?

As we walked out the door, a rare flash from my previous incantation's brain flashed up. It was a mental tick-list, containing all the things I needed for the walk. Without having to read the list out loud, my old brain just ticked everything off as done, so the walk could start.

This flash of my previous incantation was new, and I haven't had any more since. But it certainly made me realise that all my thoughts are in longhand now, rather than the shorthand they used to be. So no wonder thinking is exhausting.

[cat3]

For anyone dilly-dallying my lovely mum always used to say "You'll have it dark"😯, so those words often go through my head.

I find myself listing jobs verbally, for reinforcement, then counting them off at the end of the day....."Done that / Did that / That's sorted / Right / Ok / Good !"

Yes, Purple, it's exhausting.....🥱😆x

[PurpleOverlord]

Today's "Insight Onna Walk": simple thinking that should be like pinging a text across my brain is now being turned into a high definition broadcast. Because Thinking HD uses so much more processing power than it should, perhaps that's the reason so many of us struggle with our memories. There's not enough broadband for downloading memories into the system while thinking in high definition.

[Nemo24]

Oh yes it so is and thank you your description. It is so true to life. I use notes on white boards as reminders. Which help me from smallest things like brushing teeth. If I didn't have the prompts I will spend th day circling back and asking myself if I remembered to clean them. Try a white board by your door and tick things off it if you need that.

[skydivesurvivor]

y better than me! Go out , remember cos they’re cold, gloves?! Only locked myself out once, many years ago. Still shop 4 crap not what I actually came for?!! Still, exercise?!! A good side to brain I jury? Keeps me fit!! Put kettle on three times before actually making a cup!! Glad I learnt to smile to spite my injury!! & so life goes on. Take care

[haverfordwest in reply to skydivesurvivor]

I don't know how many cups of tea I make myself a day, and then find them an hour later😂😁😂😁 so frustrating, thank god for microwaves!!!

[skydivesurvivor in reply to haverfordwest]

Y good, can’t remember the kettle til later, may boil it 4 times per cup!!

[Nafnaf87]

Good morning Purple

I try very hard not to think as I end up going in circles and then my head hurts.

Problem is my head has other ideas, especially at night. I wish I understood my head but I don't and it carries on regardless doing the pointless job of trying to work out why what has happened over the last 25 years has happened.

One day peace will arrive

Best wishes

Michael

[skydivesurvivor in reply to Nafnaf87]

Tough to try to get it to move on?!!!

[Mhelpsme]

Hi Purple,

I have to stop by the door and say each item out loud and then pick it up. If someone or something distracts me, I have to start from scratch again. It’s frustrating and I get fed up, especially when I finish the list and know there was something else and I cannot remember what.

I was advised in Neuro-rehab to only keep one list (I used to have them dotted around each room), so now I put everything down in my digital calendar and I refer to that throughout the day. Without it I’d be crying from frustration and anger.

The worst thing I find is trying to explain to others that I cannot be distracted otherwise I “lose” what I was saying/doing. There’s been stunned silences when this has happened occasionally and my mood has exploded into anger mode 😖 …..something I’m not proud of. 😞

[haverfordwest in reply to Mhelpsme]

Don't stress, we all do it, I had a case of verbal diarrhea the other day and wished the ground would just open up and take me away!!!! Since my TBI I have tended to speak my mind, sometimes for the best, a lot of the time not.🤦🤦🤦🤦

[skydivesurvivor in reply to haverfordwest]

True we have very few reservations, have told friends of years old secrets. Over a bottle of wine they shared their secrets & unthinking I let on to a friend . Or who I thought was?!!

[haverfordwest]

oh yes!! Tonight for instance, I'm cooking so I need to turn the extractor on, walk over, look at the pan , Oh that needs stirring, walk away, oh extractor, back to cooker, oh I need to stir the saucepan, down comes hubby, Turn the extractor on!!!!!

Soooo frustrating, when everything used to be automatic, all I can give you is sympathy and say your not alone, there are many of us.

A lot of the the time that doesn't help me, I feel like having a tantrum like a 2 year old but I'd look a little stupid 😁😁, try and step back, take a deep breath and apologise to your dog.

[skydivesurvivor in reply to haverfordwest]

Bunt several pans since my tbi, least y still got u hubby!!

[Seamus1967]

That made me laugh, so true.

[Justafall]

that is SO true. You’ve articulated perfectly the difference in our thinking ability. I’ve sent it to family to help them understand living in longhand! Thank you so much.

[PurpleOverlord in reply to Justafall]

Aw, I'm so glad my random thoughts are useful! I hope your family find it helpful to understand you. ❤️

[Writeronstack in reply to Justafall]

Your handle appeals - yes, mine was just a fall as well. And what a good idea to copy and paste it on a word document and send it to my family, so they get an insight into what does go on in the head. I have just done that too.

[Writeronstack]

It is a really good thing you said all of that out loud. I know that I am in good company, particularly about the tea.

I asked for a car drinks holder for Christmas, because the last one died. My son bought me one by Thermos - brilliant - I can drink that forgotten cup of tea an hour later and it is still warm !!

Not needed the microwave since Christmas.