Why is it so hard for people to comprehend

[bexx87]

Ive been feeling highly frustrated lately because i sent work a copy of the employers guides to brain injury in hopes of educating them, they in turn asked me from the headings how i was effected (they made a good attempt guessing as they have known me for 8 years but it wasnt entirely correct), which i replied and their response is: try reading this guides written by headway to help you, heres a list of things that you already do to help yourself.

NOT THE POINT!!!!

I do not need to be told how to manage my own disability, ive been doing it for EIGHTEEN years,

Its you who needs the understanding on how to not insult me and my intelligence and way to not make me want to go back into work because youve just re-raised my stressed levels, luckily for me i have another 3 months of SSP before im in any finance issue

Im waiting for my trade union to give me feedback

[0101]

Hi bexx87 . I was about to post something similar this morning after battling this again this week.

It shouldn't be! It may be little comfort but you're not alone in this. Sending you strength and my good wishes - it takes great patience to inch forward with services or people, or organisations who don't 'get it'. I think I've got somewhere then often I feel back at square one reminding people of quite basic things and want to shriek. It doesn't really matter when there are laws and obligations to ensure the situations where 'getting it' and us, aren't just an option but their responsibility. It takes extra effort for you to not let it affect you but I hope you can and access support that helps with the added stress.

I too get very frustrated when I have tried hard to consistently help others to understand and they miss the point. The onus isn't entirely on you though - it takes effort and energy to care and understand and it's a source of confusion to me that those who say they do, don't put the effort in to actually do it. You have the right to expect it, and where they fall short, to ask for an explanation. It's hard work to do though. Don't feel shamed for asking and pointing out their obligations. It's hard knowing people are happy to ignore a duty of care or do simple things to accommodate you.

I hope your trade union are supportive and I hope you get the understanding you deserve. I also hope that if it's not an environment that's healthy for you, that you have other options or others can help you find other possible routes.

[bexx87 in reply to 0101]

Thank you your words mean a lot,

it does now feel like my mental health has spirled back down to the start of the year in one fowl swoop this is what i wanted to avoid but the only good side is im still off on ssp so i dont have to go though the whole process of explaining to my gp the situation again, so i may regardless need the minimum of another month to re gain the strength again that this email has caused i just hope they are kicking themself and i hope it highlights how sensitive my mental health is and i also hope its evidence on how they treated me to put me in this situation so i hope my tu can express his professional dissatisfaction im just sick of telling them things and have it used agaist me like i told them i changed my medication so expect my to be all over the place while my body gets settled with it and they used the fact i changed my medication as a reason to reduced my work load i told them out of politeness but now im thinking i need to stop being so forthcoming

[0101 in reply to bexx87]

I meant it

It may have knocked you, and I'm sad that it has, and hope too that you know it can come up again. I hate it that you need to reexplain to multiple people often at the times you need to be doing less. It does feel like a game when out of nowhere things out of your control seem to overwhelm and is especially frustrating if you've been trying to cope and warn others or head it off. I hope they are too but I wish they could be reliable and allow you to concentrate on being well, not having to think of them and what they might do. As long as you're not kicking youself instead of them kicking themselves! Politeness is a funny thing - openness should be working both ways. Hope your TU is on it like a car bonnet! Sounds like you can show how you've kept them informed so have done what you could be expected to and that's all on record.

Keep smiling as much as you're able, you've come a long way. Don't let them grind you down.

Look after yourself, it's time and effort well spent x

[bexx87 in reply to 0101]

Im not kicking myself more semi laughing as they have dropped themselves in it and it saves me having to explain how i dont want to be treated when i return and it gives me the opportunity to extend my sick leave because of this set back and no one can say other wise so in the end the only person who has lost out is my employer as i know how to deal with set backs and if in 3 months times they still have learnt then i will take the sacrifice and have my ssp halved and get the job centre to make up the loss (so as the job centre is ran by the government and i work for the government who do you think is losing out) so in the end i dont lose out but i am not doing it puting my mental health back at risk

[bexx87 in reply to bexx87]

I have just received a apology about said email due to the impact its had im guessing because they dont want me to take further time off well its a start in the right direction

[bexx87 in reply to bexx87]

i have sent them a response based on what my tu has said asking them to stop contacting me while im off as i understand they are concerned for the welfare of their staff member but it isnt helping the recovery of the staff member so they are not allowed to contact me until i have spoke with my gp next week and i will contact them with the update

And my tu agrees with me that if i need another month off to pick myself up i am entitled to it and he could pick up on my frustration in the email which is a added bonus so im glad it came across loud and clear and he said if work try and contact me before the 25th he will step in

[0101 in reply to bexx87]

Yay!

[0101 in reply to 0101]

I hope this means any pressure is off and you really can concentrate on you. You shouldn't have to wrestle control but I'm glad you've got some back. Pleased they're back in their box. Never ceases to amaze me and relieved there are still TUs.

[0101 in reply to 0101]

Recovery seems a concept that's difficult to grasp for some. Perhaps they need to be told rain is wet too. Honestly.

[bexx87 in reply to 0101]

It just sucks that ive had to take the hit yet again for thier mistakes how many more times must i have to pay the price i have spent my entire life having to deal with everyone elses mistakes since i was a embryo and i paid the price by forcing my self out of the womb and in to a incubator in icu to detox from alcohol and get some proper food that i can put weight on as i was born 1 pound 10 ounces at roughly 7 months old

[0101 in reply to bexx87]

It does.

Allow yourself to see that in all its technicolour, and if you can, try not to let it sway you off your path and what you've created, or how you think about yourself and your achievements. I get mightily peed off having to be the bigger person and fight for what is needed, yet be polite about it. Some of us are dealt a really bad hand in life, and then sometimes more than once. Yet, to stretch that card analogy probably too far...I have a sneaky suspicion you are going to succeed. You have got this far and have the strength and determination to keep dealing with these infuriating situations. That shouldn't happen, but do.

[steve55]

hi bexxx you need to make it clear that you know how to deal with your brain injury, but the books are information for them about brain injury.

[bexx87 in reply to steve55]

I have done both

[Hidden]

Hi,

Firstly...arghh! So frustrating when you are trying your best to keep them informed and they are just turning it back on you. You must be exhausted with them.

Secondly, thank you for sharing. I am really down in the dumps this week about work and it helps to see the struggles of others too. Makes you feel less alone.

Hope they get better at this for you.

Ax

[bexx87 in reply to Hidden]

Your welcome and thanks