It's me again my friends.

[saville75]

Yes, I've reached that position again where I don't know what else to do - then I remembered this forum. Sorry guys, it's the usual I'm afraid.

Right. It's my weight since my TBI in 2008. I've more than doubled my weight since I was released from the hospital and have tried dieting for the last 15 years and failed.

My husband and I decided around 6 months ago that I needed serious help. So we'll be putting money on the mortgage in order for me to have a gastric sleeve operation, privately, which os booked for two weeks today, on 30th September.

In order for this to happen with minimum bleeding, I've been put on what they call a "liver diet", that is to decrease the liver to its smallest for when they go in there.

I started it this morning and I feel like utter shit. It's minimised the amount of carbohydrate, so no potatoes, pasta, bread or rice. Also no fruit allowed. No alcohol. I need to drink a huge amount of fluid.

I must have this diet for the next two weeks until my op

It currently feels like an uphill struggle. My mother-in-law died last week and we'll be going to her funeral - 3 hours away - for two days this week. I think I need to take the food with me and of course I must drink no alcohol. While we're away, my parents are coming to take my son to school. My mother has said to me in advance that I "mustn't be grumpy". Really mum? You try this diet and then say that, seriously.

I take 22 pills a day since my TBI - for back pain, sciatica, epilepsy, depression. Now that I'm on this diet, everything hurts. The pills aren't as effective as they were. So I'm taking extra paracetamol to try and numb it - it helps a bit but...

I'm also shattered. i often have short naps during the day because of my TBI, but I'm doing it for way longer and more often - hey it's killing the time eh.

Anyway I feel rock bottom. I know the purpose of this should sort my weight out. But my head is not going down that positive path - the story of my life, I always tend to air on the negative...sorry about this everyone. It's helped to write it down. X

[Painting-girl]

It's a lot for you to handle all in one go. Very sorry to hear about your mother in law too. A very emotional time to deal with anticipation of an operation, a bereavement, and a restrictive diet all at the same time. Everyday life isn't easy for you on its own, but what I notice about you is that you do keep trying - which is brave and admirable. Please cut yourself some slack, and be very gentle to yourself. Just know that it's two weeks and the hard wait will be over. Big virtual hug from me. Love and prayers J x

[saville75 in reply to Painting-girl]

You have me absolutely there, very hard on myself - always have been - but I have to keep trying. If I gave up then what would be left? Thank you X

[Silkwood20]

Bless your heart it is a lot to cope with. But you are such a strong lady,( I have read your other posts). Hopefully this will make a big difference to your life. (I just looked on Mumsnet, some positive stories on there about gastric sleeve surgery results too.) praying for you.❤

[skydivesurvivor]

Know u in a s???T time just now. Focus on the days to go to the op. Cross then off triumphantly from a calendar?! Things will get better!! A dark tunnel u been in before? See the light at the end of it, concentrate on the glow?!! My only offer is to SMILE to spite u frustrations? Good luck, thinking of you!!

[paxo05]

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mother in law. This is a lit to deal with along with the diet and op.

Try and break things into daily goals. Like counting towards your op. One day at a time. Plan what you do before the op to make your life less painful and easier.

The funeral will be tough but try and again break the days down into achievable goals. At least with all the fluids you have an excuse to get out of a situation to go to the loo.

Dealing with weight gain after a tbi can be hard. It's amazing how quick it goes on but never comes off as easy. Good luck with the op,

Pax

[catrabb1t]

I once followed a de-tox diet to lose weight, the only time in my life I dieted and this was many years before BI. I felt horrendous, presumably through sudden change in diet and not getting carbs, sugars etc.. I did it for 3 weeks. A relative had got the eating plan from the hospital because he needed to lose weight for an operation.

You are feeling horrible through diet change and you have other factors to contend with, medicinal, pain, emotional upset, change of location for the funeral. As others have said, it is a lot to contend with and breaking it down into small goals and being kinder to yourself seems to be very good advice to me.

I imagine you will need more rest/sleep time on this restricted eating, I did and I didn't have medication involved. So also plan in extra rest time. You might find your mood drops more when you need rest. You will be more irritable - it is a given - you need those around you to have more patience and not bite at you. If they do you will feel so much worse. Being prepared for all of this is hopefully a small way to help you through the hard times.

I do hope those around you give you more emotional and practical support in the weeks that follow, more than usual, because this is a vulnerable time for you. This is going to be a tough ride for you in terms of how you feel physically and emotionally. All I can suggest is accepting this and telling yourself it is temporary and is happening for a planned outcome.

I admire your stamina to find an outcome to help your goal of losing weight. I was just thinking yesterday about how hard it is moving forwards with many things when heavy body weight is an issue. It makes things so much harder. I'm facing these problems myself. Please be kind to yourself and know you have the resources to dig deep when you feel bull-dozed by the diet symptoms. If you have any health worries that seems to big to bear then seek medical advice without delay. I will be thinking of you over these weeks.

[cat3]

Saville, ditto everyone else's comments. So sorry for the loss of your mum in law and wishing you strength with this and your other struggles. All best wishes for your surgery on the 30th ; hope it helps massively... Cat x