Urinary incontinence - makes me wince even writing it...

[saville75]

Hey there everyone, I've at last mustered up the bravery to ask people out there if they've ever struggled with urinary incontinence since their TBI. It's been 13 years since my injury and I've put on a lot of weight in that time. Plus Ive had a baby too. When I need the toilet in the night, I get up and walk to the toilet. I find I'm unable to hold my wee inside and it escapes. I've taken to using old t shirts between my legs to catch the leakage. It's terribly embarrassing and I've kept this a secret from my husband. Which somehow makes it even worse. Can anybody relate to this? X

[Pairofboots]

Hi, I am double incontinent. You can't keep something like this secret. Eventually there will be an oops too far. It might or might not be related to your brain so it's important to discuss this with your GP who can investigate. You may need pads, there maybe exercises to help, an infection that needs treatment or there maybe a surgical solution? The first step is a chat with your GP. 🍀

[Plenty]

i can definitely relate to that.I've had accidents in public and in front of family.

even therapists believed mine was down to the body's fight or flight response.

After a few years i got to see a specialist for continence , bowls, bladder.

and they informed me that is was down to the brain injury.

Then i went to see an NHS continence nurse.

I've done and still do pelvic floor exercise.

Recommended twice per day.

The pelvic floor is important for closure of urethra, vagina, rectum.

So id say to GP, i want to see a continence nurse, and that due to possibly TBI and past pregnancy, you are having Urinary incontinence.

[cat3]

I was embarrassed about loss of bladder control for weeks after my Bi. But the nurses were blasé and assured me it was due to unused muscles and that it would resolve once I was able to walk again (which it did).

But, even after 10 years, if I'm out of action for a while I find I can't hold on as normal. I do believe, as Boots & Plenty have said, that exercise is key to keeping muscles strong enough to control bladder function.

And you mention weight gain. Excess weight in your abdomen causes pressure on your bladder & weakening of your pelvic floor making leakage more likely.

So until you can address these issues, maybe order a supply of incontinence pads which you can wear in bed and please confide in your husband about your problem ; you may be surprised to find how sympathetic he is.

Maybe have a urine test to eliminate possible UTI then see about weight loss and exercise. Good luck in sorting this issue Saville ; I'm sure it's really stressful for you.. Cat x

[AndrewT]

Dear saville75,

please DO speak to/ tell your Husband- you need his Support, for one thing.

From the Purely Practical 'point of view' you need to get some 'Pads', of some kind..... you can't keep using towels! I had a friend, a girl that I mostly met on Holiday, who used to wear a type of 'inconti-pad-cum-sanitary towel'- that could Hold, quite a bit, of urine- it might be 'worth' your wearing these, particularly in bed. With Sandy, not her real name, 'it' just Came Out without warning. (Many a time she would just wisper, to me, "I'm Wetting Myself" or "I'm Soaked Already"- if I suggested she used a toilet.)

You Brain Injury CAN be, part of, your incontinence.... as can Childbirth. It might, very well, be atributable to BOTH causes.

You don't 'Say' how you are coping, post injury, except to say that you have had a child...congratulation, are in order, I think!

If you wish to discuss ANY 'other' aspect, of your injury, please DO contact us again. In the mean time, I know, that we ALL send our

Very Best Wishes Mum

AndrewT

[saville75]

Thank you to everyone who's answered the post I made earlier this week - it means a heck of a lot to me. Yes, I need to open up to my husband about this, I need to take a huge breath and just go for it...I've mentioned it to my GP in passing, as a side line to something else I was talking to them about. But I think it needs to be centre stage. I need to explain how much of a big deal it is to me and how difficult I'm finding it. I'll phone and get an appointment with them asap.

Is it terrible to say that I'm actually really glad that I'm not the only one?! Safety in numbers and all that I suppose...so thank you all again, you've no idea what a difference you've all made X

[Painting-girl]

Happened to me this morning in the supermarket car park actually. I think I startled when some plastic in the boot picked up on the wind and blew away and I was embarrassed I couldn't do anything about it - but then I leaked .. I then sincerely hoped that it wouldn't reach as far as my new boots .. drove onto another supermarket for their loo, didn't lock the door properly, and got interrupted - thoroughly mortified by that point. Had to stop at my mum's on the way home, so just crossed my fingers that if she did get a whiff of wee, she would think it was her and not me ( how mean is that!)

Jeans and pants now in wash, and I'm in deep need of a nap!

[saville75 in reply to Painting-girl]

Oh dear. If it means anything to you, a very similar thing happened to me. My little boy was very young and I was walking him to the supermarket. On the way my bowels opened. Just like that. I was stunned - this had never happened before and hasn't since. I gingerly carried on walking to the supermarket, straight into their toilet, left the buggie at the toilet, went into the cubicle and cleaned up as well as I could. Which wasn't very well. I sat there for ages trying to come to terms with what had just happened. Deep shame and embarrassment, which is happening now as I'm writing about it.

Hope you've had a good nap and feeling better now X

[Painting-girl]

I wonder if all this happens more than we realise - it's just everyone is really really quiet about it? Since the brain injury, I've had to belt for home as few times when out for a walk desperately needing to poop, and not always entirely making it. As you say, great shame, and embarrassment. Is our potty training as children that formative?

[saville75 in reply to Painting-girl]

I used to go out walking our dogs with the husband. And *always* needed to wee. I became well practiced at squatting down, looking around for people and letting the wee flow...!

[blueisgreen]

I have urinary incontinence myself. I use pads during the day, and the underwear that has pads built in at night. I'm working with my Dr. to see what else can be done. She sent me to physical therapy place that deals with this issue, but it was not helpful. My husband is very supportive of what I'm going through. Mostly it's hard to deal with the humiliation when I have accidents. Good luck with this, and please share it with others.