so worried about cognitive problems.

[Dann2]

Just woke up to feelings of mental confusion, where i’m kind of chasing a thoughts but can’t quite get them.

Accompanied by the usual constant head ringing, brain pain and memory problems, im so worried that i’ve got some kind of early-onset problems.

My life is ruined, basically. i can’t see any way to recover to good brain health. how am i supposed to live with this? who can i talk to about it? what tests can i get done to check this?

i’m SO UNHAPPY dealing with all this crap at 41 years old. Losing all hope.

[Pairofboots]

Hi Dan, if you feel you have cognitive issues the first port of call is your GP, they are the gatekeepers that can refer you on for assessment. I didn't know I had problems, but was referred on for investigation, and yes after two years of tests, scans etc I do indeed have problems, early onset dementia, it is frontal lobe, and probably vascular. I'm still waiting for the final, all singing and dancing diagnosis, so not sure what the trajectory is, or if there is any treatment, but at least I know that there is something. I know that some of my memories aren't as I remember, that was annoying to realise, but at least I don't think the rest of the world is just trying to confuse me. Strategies for short-term memory haven't needed to change, but I now know I need to remember to use them...... it's better to know for certain, less to stress about.

[Nafnaf87]

Good morning Dann

Hell fire, you're so young - got at least one life ahead of you 🙂

How do I know that?

Well, having joined the Head-bangers club at 32½ (that ½ is important) I have arrived at 57¾ having had at least another 3 lives, currently number 4 is under construction 🤯

Now I could have thought, actually probably did each time, this is a complete pain in the arse, can't be bothered. There is a certain relaxation in a nice drop of Talisker and I do love the view from the top of Carnedd Llewelyn .... a nice peaceful way out .... don't be so bloody silly, I'd probably end up in A&E again with even more problems!

Dann, there are loads of us with a couple of problems but there is always somebody with more.

That apart, life is great, the wonder of the sun rising each morning leading to another day. We may think we know the future but we don't, if we did we would have avoided the Head-bangers club wouldn't we 😉 Never know, today may be the day something joyous happens 🌞

Remember you are worth the effort

Best wishes

Michael

[Hi-Just-Me in reply to Nafnaf87]

Love that ‘ headbangers club’ 😀

[Painting-girl]

See your GP for help and support D, and don't rule out trying antidepressants, because as a group we're quite prone to recurrent depression, and the key is to recognise that and get help. Talking therapy can help you identify what's important to you and what avenues you can try now.

What is your actual situation now, are you mobile, and have you any family or friends that you get on with? What are the worst effects of your BI - and what things are you able to do despite it? If your headaches / brain pain are really bad, which I get, have you tried keeping a headache diary and giving yourself a proper brain rest break morning and afternoon? You might be able to spot some patterns where things are better or worse - which helps give you a sense of managing yourself, which can help you to feel less helpless. Taking a diary to a GP will also help them to see what problems you're dealing with on a day to day basis. Try scoring all your symptoms perhaps three times a day?

I think we all sometimes regret that previous life, and the might have beens, but it is possible to find new ones, just not what we imagined was our ideal trajectory. I certainly never imagined being retired and living solo, but have come to realise that living solo can bring its own rewards. (Not having to be locked away in my bedroom with Covid, springs to mind at the moment) Previous generations were damaged in different ways by world wars and worse public health, and perhaps no-one truly sails through life totally unscathed.

I agree you need to find things that make you feel your life is of value - helping other people may seem a bit of a stretch at the moment, but perhaps start small - reply to posts on here when you feel you can be supportive, and consider volunteering in a charity shop or some sort of voluntary group - outdoor volunteering gives you a win win - and just listen to other people's stories. Can you find a Headway branch near where you are, that you can visit for support? Perhaps try going to a few churches to see if any appeal to you, you might find the stillness a comfort. Try and walk everyday and notice what's around you, just getting out can give you at least a temporary respite. Grow something, even if it's just mustard and cress... Speak to a neighbour or visit an elderly person, stroke a friendly cat... Sit for a moment in the sunshine, smell a rose.... Feeling better about yourself and your place in the world always seems to be made up of lots of tiny things in the here and now to me, rather than any great big thing. It is possible to be happy with very little - just as some people might seem to have absolutely everything but actually be quite miserable.

I know joining in conversations can be really tricky post bi - so just focus on listening - everyone needs someone that can listen. Sometimes you make friends by just being one.

The only thing I can offer you in my sixties, is that you can never really work out what your life is going to be like in advance, there are always unexpected twists and turns - but they aren't all bad, some can be startlingly good and a total surprise, and things that I would have thought would be really very bad at the time, have sometimes turned out to have led me into a richer, deeper, life in the end. Even after a BI. Even on my own.

Take care