I'm back full time in work next...... 🙂

So this week I am off on holiday from work and then next week..... back to full time. I am looking forward to it, yes! It changes my day being out of the house in which I do the same everyday housework, walks, watch TV, reading a book but all by myself as rest of my family are either working or at college. So it gives me the chance to meet my workmates and the children who I work with and keep my head in a different place while there. By that I mean it's not making me feel fed up like I am sitting at home on my own when I'm phased return. Do I have bad days there... yes, but I talk to other members of staff who reassure me that I'm doing the best job. Do kids ever get annoyed at me? Maybe the times I tell them to sit out of an activity they were doing and enjoying because they're using swear words which 3 or 4yr old shouldn't be! The only down side is not having my driving licence back yet but neurosurgeon has filled in my DVLA form they asked him to fill in amd has sent it back. So it's just time that will tell if I get back driving. Poor friend and workmate is taking me there and home the days that my partner, who I love more than anything, can't take me because he is at work. There are a lot of people in my family but 3 that are home and I count on for sure. Although I have thrown a spanner in their work of everyday for them after what happened they are the ones who would still be there for me. My partner bless him needs a huge bravery medal as if I have been a right moo with him for the last 6 months. I just wish my frustration and anger so easily would disappear. Here is hoping being full time helps that dissappear. Although I think the trigger trauma on an ambulance with sirens and blue lights is still stuck with me for just a bit longer..... everyone have a great day, sending best wishes to everyone who is having a bad day.... you got this! 🤗

[Creativity8]

Hi Sshhh,

Ah, that’s so great and lovely to hear. Thank you for sharing. Well done to you, your family and friends for adapting and stepping up to the challenges. I hope your return to work goes smoothly but I’m sure whatever hurdles come your way, you’ll deal with them admirably. Hopefully it won’t be long before you are back behind the steering wheel. Fingers crossed. Good luck and have a lovely day.

[Hidden in reply to Creativity8]

Thank you.... 😊.... I know I can be a huge pain to everyone at times, but I am trying to deal with the frustration easier but it does become a little harder when spoken above or cut off speaking half way through what I need to say. That's when I get the I'm just a problem or failure feeling so I stop and don't continue. I am not a failure though, I know I'm not I just have to prove to myself sometimes I'm better than 6 months ago. If my gran amd niece send me back twice from heavens door then they think I am better than i was. So I'm trying every day to have a more positive day about myself. But thank you...... I really mean it x

[Creativity8 in reply to Hidden]

Oh so frustrating for you. . Did they always speak over you or is this a post injury thing ?

There have been times where I’ve thanked people for the help they have given me but then asked them to do differently in future. I tell them that I have to practise if I am to get better. You could even tell them you’ll give them a little nod if you want them to step in and help, that way you regain control over your life and they continue to feel useful knowing you’ll ask for help if you need it. Pays to have these conversations at a later date rather then at the time when emotions may run high. Revisit them, start with some positive praise for them but them tell them how it makes you feel, what you’d like done differently and then thank them again. Or something like that.

As for feeling a failure, that’s ok and those feelings are important to acknowledge but just as you have here, keep challenging them. Moderate them. Be kind to yourself. You most certainly are NOT a failure.

I love a bit of positivity. I like to take a moment to acknowledge significant moments in my recovery, chart my progress, appreciate how far I’ve come, think how lucky I am to be able to do what I can now do. It all helps to keep propelling me forwards. I can see you are doing that too. Well done for setting yourself the positivity challenge and good luck.

Six months is early. You will continue to improve. Progress does slow down but improvements are still there to be had. And even if worse case scenario there were no improvements to be had, things would still change because we learn to deal with things differently. I’m 7 years in and still progressing. Good luck in all you do.

[Hidden in reply to Creativity8]

Thank you, it does help with others telling me how they are and what they have been through or still going through. I appreciate everything you have said and have taken it on board. I will definitely try my best, even though I have no memory of that night at all I am not saying I forget what I have been told by the women I was out with, but I keep saying that's my past, today and tomorrow is my future and I can do this. It might take me a bit longer to cope with everything but I will get there. A huge thank you though for being totally honest. Keep doing what you are doing, as you are doing an amazing job every day and keep smiling. Take care of yourself in everyday you can. Well done you! 🤗

[Creativity8 in reply to Hidden]

Hello Sshhh.

Thank you for your very kind words. They mean a lot. Would have replied sooner but writing takes me such a long time! Think brain injured with dyslexia on speed following the injury and that describes me. Still it gives me a chance to say I hope your first week back is going well.

No doubt your poor friends are trying to process their own trauma. But I think living in the here and now and looking to the future are definitely what it’s all about. One day you may have the time and space to process what you have been through but there’s no hurry. Staying positive and striving to get better is definitely a great way forwards.

Keep being positive (when you can) and you’ll continue to be an inspiration to others. Best of luck.

Ps. Don’t forget to plan in some extra rest time, you’ve earned it.

[skydivesurvivor]

wry lucky!! Went back on a therapeutic basis 3 years after accident. Unable to do a single job properly!! Failed my driving assessment too, u were v lucky!! Erm, envious? Was but I’ve finally come to terms with my disability!! Took me 20 years though!! Keep safe & good luck!!

[Hidden in reply to skydivesurvivor]

Thanks, I know i am lucky to be where I am and be back at work full time in 6 and half months. A lot of people take longer to get the recovery I have managed. I am different person than I was before and I get that, I'm just trying to myself myself realise I can still get better. Good luck to you, and also keep safe! x

[skydivesurvivor in reply to Hidden]

good attitude!! Keep going, but don’t forget US. Would love to hear y progress x

[Hidden in reply to skydivesurvivor]

Definitely will not forget about you all who always reply to anything I post... I promise. x

[Teazymaid]

So pleased it all sounds well for you .. so nice to feel like things are improving .. 😁

Regarding the siren’s being a trigger help can be had to recover from any triggers good luck and enjoy you full time work sue x

[TreesMTBI]

That's great to read, Sshhh! Long may it continue. I take inspiration from your posts. I have quit multiple jobs over the past 6 years as didn't or wouldn't accept or share about my problems since the accident (and only informed the NHS in January, waiting for neurology appointment which is not until October yikes).

I've been out of work this time since March '22 and I'm desperate financially and mentally to get back to doing something but need to start from scratch with an employer and the whole thing feels too daunting as I don't know what I can actually do and cope with in a job anymore. But as I say, your posts have given me hope somehow!

May you have the best continued recovery 🌼

[Hidden in reply to TreesMTBI]

Thank you.... I have gone back maybe a little bit early for some but at the same time I would rather be in work and coping with what I can do, learning if I'm struggling how to deal with it ( although so far it's not happened), rather than sat at home doing the same things every day in the house or out for a walk. Some say it's the wrong job, maybe but I know it's the job I am good at and there has been a couple of days in the last 8 weeks I have thought can I do this really?, but I know I can. I'm sure you will find something that you can do and you will know when you have as a weight will be off your mind. Believe in yourself, not the hope or anything, you can do this I'm sure you can. Will always be on here, so keep us updated on yourself. 😊