burst aneurysm

[hevs90]

on 6th April my partner crashed his car as a result of an aneurysm that had burst whilst driving.....he didn't even know he had one. next thing I know is the police turn up at my door wanting to take me to the hospital...it was at that point I knew it was serious . he was induced into a comba and was in my icu. then they fitted a coil to stop the aneurysm bleeding again. he then had strokes, chest infections and then pneumonia and a tracci fitted. he's now on the nurological ward awaiting a bed to go on the rehab ward. he is more awake but when his eyes are open its like the lights on but nones at home. the hospital is 2&1/2 hours bus ride there and back as I'm learning to drive. he can move his arms as if you were lifting a weight but cannot move his legs. he cannot follow any commands and doesn't even know I'm there. I talk to him all the time and play him voice recodings of the children as I can't take them up as much because of school and distance. we have been told already this may be as good as we're going to get.... our children are ages 6 and 3 and they are both finding it extremely difficult and are playing up more which I understand. just wondering if there is someone out there that has gone through this with small children and taking time off work.....sorry for the rant just needed to vent x

[Alice5]

Oh my goodness, I really feel for you. Such a shock that came out of the blue. Unfortunately I have no idea about taking time off work with young children as I was retired when my son had his aneurysm.

You have such a long way to travel and young children, I can't imagine what you mustbe going through.

Contact Headway and see if they can advise you in any way.

When my son had his Subarrachnoid haemorrhage 7 years ago I was told they were doing their best to keep him alive and we would talk about the prognosis at a later date. I remember a time when he just 'looked through me' and it was because he had a serious infection which was critical. Once that was treated he began to pick up.

Although it must seem like ages to you it still really is early days for a brain injury. You just never know the outcome.

You take care and take time for you and your young children who cannot possibly understand what is going on.

I hope someone else can give you better advice than me.

I'm glad you posted on here as everyone has been through brain injuries or supported someone with a brain injury so we do understand.

Love and hugs xx

[hevs90 in reply to Alice5]

hi Alice thank you my family and his family are a really good support but it's nice to talk to people who are going through it instead of explaining what it is if that makes sense. I called headway and they were really nice and there is a headway person at his hospital which I didn't know so I'm going to call her and arrange a meeting.xx

[sealiphone]

I feel for you my wife's weight dropped 30% by week 5 of my TBI, I think she had a much harder time than me and my prognosis by week 3 was looking fair.

A different situation but my wife told our 6 year old daughter everything, she'd found me convulsing on the bathroom floor. She took it all on board and was amazingly resilient, however I feel you need more opinions on that one.

You have a statutory right to take time off work due to a Family Emergency, although no right to pay unless your employment contract gives you this right. Time off is not limited if it's reasonable but reasonable in your employer's eyes may not practicable.

I feel this really needs one to one advice you should ring Headway on: 0808 800 2244.

[treetate]

HI there,

I really do feel your pain. My husband had a ruptured aneursym in January and we went through every possible phase from coma to vegetative state and then post traumatic amnesia and there were times when we really didnt think he would make it. He suffered with sepsis, vasospasms and anything else they could throw at him. I work full time and although the hospital was only 40 mins away, they were long days of visiting, home, dog walking in a continuous cycle and I completely exhausted myself. He started at a rehabilitation centre a month ago but his needs were more complex (mainly behavioural and cognitive and they couldnt cope with his aggression (mainly towards me) so he has being moved today to a neurological brain injury specialist unit who can hopefully help.

He can walk, talk, eat and read and write but has no memory at all and is constantly in a confused state. He recognises me but doesnt remember or life, house or town that we live.

Everyone will say its early days and it really is - I am over 4 months in and still dont know what sort of recovery he will make but I am assured there will be some. Life has become a daily battle for information which is half my frustration with it all.

xx

[hevs90 in reply to treetate]

hi in the nicest way possible it's nice to know it's not just happening to me not in a rude way or anything but it's nice to relate to someone who's going through it. it's the cognitive part of his brain that's damaged and the brain stem that's damaged so far we don't know if there is more damage or to what extent. I'm not writing my partner off but I have all ready had to make the difficult decision of if he needs 24hr care I can't bring him home when the times right of course as my daughter has a bowel problem and is on regular medicine everyday and has to stay in hospital regularly to clear her Bowles out she was admitted to a&e with last year 5 times as well as staying in but don't wanna feel like I'm shoving him else where xx

[treetate in reply to hevs90]

It is such an awful worrying time and all sorts of things will be going through your mind. I am still the same and don’t know what each day will bring but have learnt to slow down and take a step back. Lack of communication from the doctors, consultants etc is the worst thing - I am constantly looking for information and get very little back! It honestly drives me mad. They promised to call today to let me know when he left but nothing, I rang and they said he left hours ago so be prepared for that!!! It will all take time before you know what kind of recovery there might be - I still don’t know over 4 months later xx

[hevs90 in reply to treetate]

I know it's like a whirlwind my mind atm. to be honest I'm getting impatient with them not speaking as much as they used to. the nurses just says he's been bright today but when I look at him he's awake but I know he doesn't register who we are or where he is.xx

[19KMcG87]

There’s not a lot I can say... I’m really thinking of you and your family at this point and time, all the best for his recovery xxx

[hevs90 in reply to 19KMcG87]

thank you xx

[Jackie365]

Hi

Sorry to hear of your problem. Feel free to vent This happened to me to so unexpected with no tell tale signs, Everyone is different mine happened whilst I was mopping my kitchen floor on a Saturday night and we had just moved with 2 young children . Luckily I recovered quite well after brain surgery having a patch and 2 clips inserted , although the first few months were really hard work, It changes the way you think. It has taken me a long time to get remotely back to normal . I have now gone back to work full time after doing voluntary work for a number of years and now work full time as a benefit adviser. If you work and have to take time off work you and your husband may be able to claim Statutory Sick pay from your employer. Depending on where you live you may be able to claim tax credits or universal credit, if you have a limited income you may be able to claim health care costs by completing an HC1 form, When he is able to return home he may be eligible to make a claim for personal independent payment. You can find the information by going on the direct gov site but if you do apply get help to complete the forms from a local agency,

[hevs90]

hi Jackie it is only myself in employment they are paying me for the next two months and then I have to fill out an esa form or universal credit not sure on which it is. I'm conserned that if I fill out a form for either uc or esa I will be worse off they aren't going to pay me my working tax credits anymore an I am not eligible for 30hrs child care. and it will only be half of what I earn and been on uc before and no offended towards you but it's horrible you have to jump through hoops and even that isn't good enough. I know it's not the advisors and they have to follow rules and targets but I don't know if I can afford to live on esa especially when my daughter has a bowel problem and she still has to wear pull ups and she's six. I'm even fighting for dla for her because it affects her daily life got her tribunal on the 18/06/2018 so i will go citizens advice and work out what the best is to do. I think it's worse when it happens out of the blue and people don't know about it, my children could develop this in later life as it has come down his family line xxn

[Jackie365 in reply to hevs90]

Hi again Universal credit is an adviser's nightmare we all groan when we hear about it. Depending in how much you earn you should receive SSP for 28 weeks sometimes you can get a top up of income support + it also depends depending on if you are in a full service area for Universal credit, Check on the Direct Gov website (Online claiming is an obstacle).In certain areas its also new style ESA. Take care and good luck with the CAB . If your daughter is awarded it at middle or higher rate daily living you may be able to claim carers allowance to look after her, Take Care

[hevs90 in reply to Jackie365]

hi I know what you mean about universal credit it was a nightmare! unfortunately we are in a uc area. but thank you for letting me know about what I could get if Carla is successful with her dla no one has told me about that xx

[Celtic27]

Hi hev I hope your husband continues to recover from the health problems he's had since his aneurysm! I've had a aneurysm 5 years ago but not as severe as your husbands I've been left with short term memory loss and poor balance! I'm I right in thinking that your husbands quite young which may bode well for his recovery! God bless you and your family!

[hevs90 in reply to Celtic27]

hi thank you yeah he's 37 that's the only good thing that's on his side the nurological surgeons said.

[Celtic27 in reply to hevs90]

I was 48 when I had mine didn't know were I was for 2 weeks! I wish you and your family all the best!