I have not posted here for quite some time
but I was wondering how many of you guys with brain injuries live alone?
wondering how you cope
i could not have a pet
I already have a dog who is too difficult for me to care for alone so he will not be coming with me unfortunately
downsides/benefits
I am looking at downsizing
Very small house to an apartment
my other option is to live with my mum.
but this is something I just could not mentally tolerate
it would be a disaster
I have spent more of my life living alone than childhood, and marriages. Life always has challenges, you can live the life, or you can live the challenges. No they are not the same. Life is about adapting whatever the challenge. Challenge is changing that you forget live.
Well that is my philosophy, and I never argue with philos!
thank you for your reply
I am currently find it hard to be difficult to be around multiple humans
Always having their opinions on what I SHOULD be doing
Passive aggressive comments
Never happy with my achievements
Nothing is ever good enough
Maybe that’s a fault of my own actually caring what these people think
and seeking validation?!
People not keeping the living space exactly as I want it
Only thing holding me back at the moment
Is finances
I am currently having uncontrolled seizures
they bring problems of their own
and fear tbh of how I would cope due to my deficits post brain injury
it’s a big leap for me, I have never lived alone
I would still have small amounts of support from family and friends if needed
Just don’t know where to start with the living alone process
The first 8 years post brain hiccup, my ex wife used and abused me, I was not in a good place mentally, and to a point excepted what was thrown at me. The change came when the medics finally got my mental state stabilised. It did mean a bitter divorce, but from the day I said no more the relief I found was like stepping into the light. It was a stressful time, a lot of unknowns, and it seemed to last an eternity. My ex thought she was clever, a typical narcissist, nothing was her fault, how could I be so mean, the judge saw through this, and she didn't get to have the last laugh. Only you know what is right for you. I couldn't afford fancy legal representation, I just had truth. I don't have people looking in on me, I do have a linked alarm service should I need rescue. I haven't needed to call upon it, but it is a comfort just knowing it is there.
Hi Charlie90
I have lived alone without the bi, and with the bi.
Living alone means you can set up things the way they suit you - it also means you get no help. But if you live with someone who doesn't get it and isn't helpful, that's not great.
7 or 8 years post accident my Mum had a health issue and then started staying with me. It was on and off for awhile, now she's will me full time.
Yes, it was a very difficult adjustment. She was really used to being healthy enough to do what she wanted, and didn't adjust well to not being able to. She also really didn't understand the brain injury I have, even though she had read a lot and thought she did get it.
We have managed to sort it out. We both find having the company and the help is good. (Mom helps me with ideas and thinking things through as I can be a bit slow. I help her by doing the cooking - and she helps me by not complaining about my lousy cooking - it is... though I have modified it to suit her diet and so it's a compromise again.)
Everything in life is a compromise. I didn't think Mom would ever want to live with me or be happy here, and yes it was tough for awhile , but we worked it out. It became necessary. Shrug.
Nothing is perfect.
Living alone, especially if you are not part of some kind of complex, can be very lonely.
I have found the neighbours here more busy with being judgemental than being friendly and helpful, for instance.
I'm also someone who likes their own company , if I weren't, it wouldn't be possible.
When I was on my own I did miss the social aspects of life, but they weren't possible, and my opportunities are still pretty limited.
The trick is to pick something, perhaps discuss with someone from Headway first, and then basically you pick and live with it .
And, of course explore if changes are possible where you are.
I know one couple, for instance, where one lives mostly upstairs and the other mostly downstairs, and they just go back and forth as they please, but don't assume.
Leaf
following my divorce got a council flat, had cats which am allergic to ?!! Like many lost my social life, totally different person?!! Went to day centre made a new social set over many years. Life is a challenge, have trained me to SMILE to spite tbi & the changes it’s caused!! Get to pick the best bits of old character, the only good thing about tbi!! Good luck
Yes I'm alone now. I've never really labelled my myself as someone who copes, I've just survived the day (for 40 years now) and the real me would have, over my lifetime up to this point, potentially been in a much different place IMHO and I'll never get over that. I've always fought against the new direction that someone/something sent me with a TBI and here I am now: waiting for a pension in a few years, isolated & still longing for what might have been. I have a large house & dog which will not change unless absolutely necessary. I wouldn't want your situation so I feel your discomfort. I hope that you find a good solution to your situation that is acceptable and makes you happy.
Hi Charlie. I do empathise with the intolerance to others. I'm quite smiley and chatty with neighbours, and fellow shoppers, in the knowledge that my brain can cope with such short lived stimulus. But being 'captive' in family occasions or being stuck in any crowded situation is panic territory for me.
And choice of lifestyle can be a big concern for those of us affected in this way. It's the dilemma of needing support vs the need for peace and quiet. And if one's personal choices and coping strategies are constantly challenged at home, it can feel demoralising and exhausting.
Life without the freedom to be oneself is one of the compromises of living amongst family, friends, work-colleagues etc., but with an already compromised brain it's easier said than done.
Where are you living at present m'love ? I ask as I wonder how urgently you need to decide ?
Cat x
hi cat
Thank you for your reply
I’m currently living with a partner
but our relationship has been breaking down for over a year so technically ex partner
so it’s likely in the near future we will need to sell the house etc
its not urgent I’m happy co habiting for now
It is currently not stressful. I can always stay with family
but I am trying to decide if getting a little place of my own and living alone
will be better suited to me and my post brain injury lifestyle
I am lucky to have multiple family members living close by so I will still have support if I need it
but I’m just trying to sort of look at what my options are and start to the balls rolling.
i know only I can decide what is right for me
Just thought I would ask to see if anyone had any insight
whst will be will be. xx
Living with a stranger
I feel so alone since my TBI 
Living with mild TBI - where to start?
Independent living with support
