hi after stroke care

[teresa12]

my husband had massive stroke Christmas eve 2020 after month in hospital then restbit home than he came home anyway.after no help still waiting for ramp to be put outside my house cut long story short I'm living a bloody nightmare he drinks every night he so aggressive I've been call all horrible names

my life stopped to look after him he can't walk can't use bathroom I do understand that this once Woking man who was very social dose nowt now cause of the stroke

am I only one going though this hell

is there help out there

cause I can't take no more

sorry for the rant must sound like a really horrible person

[guitarlady]

Hi Teresa

When my friend had a stroke and fell into the road and has got a tbi through it I rang my Social services adult Care team so you could try them to come and do an assessment and let you know if there is any help they can offer. Ours were nice and helpful.

Also there is a helpline too on this site who may be good to talk too as they will have had a lot of experience with people in your situation.

I'm sure the other nice people on here may be able to offer you suggestions too which might help.

I've just contacted my social services as my friends behaviour has got worrying and I'm the only person helping him and also in the firing line which I find really hard at the moment.

Hope this helps a bit.

Take care, Brenda

[Pairofboots]

Hi Teresa, rant away, better to let it out. More insult to the injury, you may need to camp out at the GP until they provide you support. Tell them how it is. You are suffering, but just treating you won't change the circumstances. You need help urgently. If they don't shift into gear they will have two patients in crisis to manage.

Also if you can, think about your needs, how do they fit with the happy ever after, what will make you happy in the present, in the medium term, and the long term. Sometimes life throws a major curve ball, is there a return path? Only you can answer, and it is something you would never have once even contemplated, probably still wouldn't, but if it is hell, you need to have options.

Maybe I'm not a nice person for saying this, but I am a realist. Take care, and rant as much, and as often as you need. 🍀

[moo196]

short practical note... is he going out to drink? If not then can you stop buying any alcohol when out shopping?

[pozza40]

Hi teresa12, I’m really sorry you are going through this. I know exactly how you are feeling. My husband had a massive stroke may 2020, he as been home 18 months and it has honestly been the worst time in my life. I understand how you feel like you are a horrible person for voicing how you really feel,I’m the same.My husband can’t walk, is incontinent, has a different personality.in fact it is like a different person in my husbands body.

Since he came home,I clean him,feed him,move him and generally spend my entire life taking care of his needs.

I am only just realising that to get any real help, you really have to make a pest of yourself. I would say contact social services and tell them you are at the end of your tether. If you didn’t care for him,they would have to.

You both need an assessment to see what help he needs and what help you need.

Sorry for the long reply, I just want you to know that there are people out here who completely understand how you feel.please take care of yourself,try to get a breather if you can. I walk my dog to just get 20 minutes peace to myself.

All the best

[teresa12]

Thank you everyone for your replies Pozz40 specially thank you sorry you going though the same thing

I woke up this morning with an drive to get more help for me and Colin

I had words about his drinking and his behaviour weather he going listen doubt it

But I have told him he need to change or he going into a home

As pairofboots pointed out I am going end up ill myself

Again thank you sorry for my rants x