Just wondering if anyone else gets the feeling that everything is hard work after a head injury? I’m trying so hard to get some normality back but when I push myself through a day I really pay for it the next day with headache, pain where the injury was and confusion. Everyone keeps telling me I’m doing too much but I so want to be myself again. I’ve got to the point where I just don’t tell my husband what I’m doing so he doesn’t tell me I’m doing too much. I’m working from lunchtime today and wondering how I’m going to cope. It’s so hard when people see me out and about they think I’m normal but it’s such hard work maintaining that front and appearing fine on the outside when I’m so not underneath. I’m sure everyone around me must be bored of my head injury by now, it’s been 6 months… I’m definitely done with it! X
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Flosmum04
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Thank you very much.. I think I needed to hear that. I need to accept my new normal I think. Thanks for your wise words.. I will think about what you said x
Hello Flosmum, in BI terms it's hardly any time at all since your injury I'm afraid. Everyone has a different trajectory of recovery, and no two injuries are exactly the same, but most of us do tend to have fatigue at some level - so we get what you're saying here. You're right that people expect us back on our feet quickly - including ourselves! Well done for getting back into work though.
It is really important that you don't do so much that you are overtired afterwards - because that tends to re-enforce the so-called 'boom and bust' pattern, which overall can make things worse not better. A better pattern which supports recovery, is to work out what you can do in a day without getting tired, and only do that much every day ( not easy, I know) and then just aim to increase one activity by half an hour a day for just a couple of days a week. Once you can cope with an increase of activity without being wiped out the next day, then repeat the process. Bear in mind that depending on your injury, different things will be more tiring than others. I find conversation runs my batteries down pretty fast, for instance.
To keep yourself in better shape during the day, don't forget the value of a brain break rest - even five- ten minutes is better than nothing. I lay down in a quiet room with my eyes shut for 10 - 30 minutes - mindfulness apps like Headspace are good too - but see what works best for you.
Keep in touch on here, and don't forget that the Headway helpline is good for ongoing support and information (during working hours)
We put too much pressure on ourselves to fit right back in post BI.Something I wanted so badly, but I hadn’t understood just how widespread the consequences were going to be.
I’m still kicking against it 10 years on.
But, it’s not going to change.
I’m not saying stop trying, you have to keep trying, but stop exhausting yourself.
Acceptance is the most important lesson to learn.
If you’d lost a limb, or your sight you could accept it more easily and so would everyone else.
But our brain determines everything for us and we can’t put a bandage on it etc,etc. We have to provide the best environment for it to recover as best it can.
So, you are doing a great job just cut yourself some slack and be kind to yourself.
The desire to "push on through" is natural - experience tells us that it works - so getting used to the limitations of pacing and managing triggers can feel a little we are just not trying hard enough. 😐
It's physically and practically a nightmare, but it can also be dangerously debilitating psychologically long term if you get into a boom and bust cycle.
6 months feels like you should be fully recovered doesn't it? I can almost guarantee that you're not!!!
With the usual caveat of everyone is different.... there is a huge recovery curve in the first few of months usually, then still fairly rapid up to 6-12 months; it's then often a case of incremental recovery in a non linear fashion indefinitely.
Here's the key thing you need up hear though right now....
IF YOU DON'T MAKE TIME FOR WELLNESS, SICKNESS WILL MAKE TIME FOR YOU.
Harsh - yes? Never more true than with a TBI.
(And I do love myself a good fridge magnet saying! I find them easy for my brain to latch onto when it's fighting the fog!😄)
Denial is almost impenetrable - I'm talking about myself here not you, but don't think I'm alone on this one. 🤷♀️
The only way to make the fullest recovery that you can is by listening to your body this year.
It's such an important time.
Think of it as an investment in your future.
Even if you don't believe it, please consider giving proper pacing and trigger management a go.
Your brain will clearly let you know when it needs a break, you just need to listen.
Don't take my word for it though obviously. I learned most of what I know about TBI from forums like these - have you had a good look through older posts that ask similar questions? Always a good source of info if you have time.
Keep us all updated! It's inspiring to see the progress people make - keeps us all going!
Two main challenges for me post TBI 9yrs ago - I can never be the identical person I was in my former life - the vast majority of people never identify your TBI, very frustrating! Important to focus on your new personality, good luck with it x
I so know where you are coming from, I have had my injury for a year almost 29th May 21 to be exact, I am an age group triathlete and this injury has affected my running pace my free style swimming and my biking. It was my bike that caused this injury. I have had to start at the beginning and relearn everything, and it is improving but it is hard work. outwardly people think I am ok, but I am not,I feel disabled kind of, but I do get plenty of help.I don't post on here at all but I do belong to a facebook group called TBI Warriors and Survivors and they have been awesome.
I find it is too as my brain has to process it which takes more effort. when it just quickly did it, and -and in what order too. I was reading an excellent in the last Headway magazine about BI effecting executive skills and the person said that if a job would have taken, sat an hour to do, she now allows an hour and half-the frontal lobes are responsible for executive skills-I hadn’t realised that but it was why I found my job more difficult to do in the time it had pre-BI.
I know it’s very frustrating but the only way, I found, is to give more time-if that’s possible in your particular line of work-my job was fast-moving and I had to think quickly on my feet, prioritising and continually multi-tasking. Yes, lot more hard work but try, if you can, to give yourself a bit of Lea way and not be too hard on yourself and, of course, you need to rest, especially at end of a long day.
Hope it helps to know many of us have the similar problems coping after our BI. Rest is one of the key factors at a time that suits you.
I recently posted about sleeping too much and it makes me frustrated as I keep looking at the things I haven't done. I was reminded by the wonderful people in this community that I should focus on the things I have manged to do.
Paxo gives some excellent advice much of which I will be writing on a post it as may not remember it later. Other advice i was given is be nice to yourself. I k now exactly how you feel and my heart goes out to you.
It was described to me by a doctor as being like an old iphone battery.
You plug it in and you get to 100% charge. If you don't do much it lasts all day.
If you use loads of apps and make loads of calls the battery dies and it needs recharging.
The iphone elves are working to upgrade your phone piece by piece but they must have a union and aren't working all of the time. Eventually (I think is the idea) it will get better so the charge will hold better over time.
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