6th time’s a charm

[VeronicaGB]

I am new here. I have had 5 concussions in the past, now on my 6th. How can one person be so accident prone?!? I guess I am looking for validation and support here. I am overly analytical by nature, so that leads me to be concerned that I have had now 6 brain injuries. It is my perception that I have to justify why I am not working or just lying down while I feel dizzy and headaches. No one has asked me to justify this and I have been told to just relax and rest, but also that I am being a hypochondriac for being concerned and that I am being sad and morose. “Just lighten up. No one wants to hug a cactus.” WTF? This person does not understand how it feels to recover from a concussion. I AM feeling sad and angry and that this is annoying. No, I don’t feel happy and joyful right now. This leads to bad feelings between us and now I feel like the bad guy for having a concussion, like I am an inconvenience. I know that I will recover, but am I not allowed to feel displeased about the situation? Thank you for letting me vent. I know that I really don’t need validation from others, maybe just some understanding so that I know I am not crazy.

[Leaf100]

Hi VeronicaGB,

It is really common for people to have the feelings you describe.

Multiple concussions are also not uncommon.

It is super hard for others to understand, they haven't experienced it, and it is a bit like trying to explain balance to someone who doesn't know how to ride a bike - you can talk about it all you want, but it makes no sense unless you have experienced it.

I would suggest you reach out to Headway, the contact info is pinned on the page.

I hope you don't mind me saying - we have disfunction and pain - it is true - and then if we don't get enough of the right kind of support, we end up suffering more on top of it all.

Getting stuck like that, and having depression, are really common.

I do understand you are venting here, and may not be stuck - and I do want to make sure you are getting the right kind of help for yourself. Yes, it is ok to feel less than overjoyed at the situation from time to time. It is a grieving process, but one in which it easy to get stuck, as the losses are constantly there and it can feel like having a wound that never heals.

So please, do make sure you get help and support. The people around us often are not able to give it.

best wishes,

Leaf

[VeronicaGB in reply to Leaf100]

Thank you. Definitely not stuck, but frustrated to be going through this again.

[Pairofboots]

Hi Veronica, welcome. Six concussions, try not to go for anymore. But they all take their toll. There probably is a cumulative effect which makes recovery harder.

Why so many, luck of the draw, unless you are into an extreme sport. They say lightening doesn't strike twice, tell that to the Guinness book of records bloke that has survived numerous strikes.

I take it you are talking about a close relationship, of someone not being as understanding as could be? Give the Headway helpline a call, their contact details are pinned to this page. They are not easy to get through to at the moment apparently, but worth the effort.

They have fact sheets on concussion, and they can help you with how to discuss the subject. It might give you some ammunition. Unfortunately these injuries are hard for others to imagine, there is no definitive duration of recovery, there are no casts or sticking plasters, so although you are the one with the injury, you almost have to become the carer for the carer to support them to understand.

This is at a time that you are struggling with the recovery. There is a term that has come from covid, "carer fatigue". I don't like buzz phrase's, but if this person you talk of has been through the previous concussions, they may feel a little frazzled themselves. I know this doesn't help, but shifting how you think, might help to understand them?

Unfortunately it seems, at times that we are at our lowest that cracks in relationships can emerge, I hope this isn't the case.

Wishing you well 🍀

[VeronicaGB in reply to Pairofboots]

Thank you. Relationship is quite strong. It is hard to see someone you care about feeling unwell knowing there is nothing you can do to fix it. I am mostly frustrated and probably projecting my guilt onto him.

[VeronicaGB in reply to Pairofboots]

As to why so many concussions, I am clumsy as hell. I’ve have a couple of car accidents, crashed a scooter, and have hit my head on various things when getting up too fast. Dumb stuff but with consequences.

[Painting-girl]

I'm terrified of having another concussion, so no wonder you're concerned!

When did you have the most recent one, and what effects have you had from the previous ones?

[VeronicaGB in reply to Painting-girl]

Just a few days ago. I was feeling better yesterday and was quite productive. Today not so much. It’s hard not to analyze and scare myself into thinking the worst. I know that of I give myself time to heal that I will feel much better. I also think that I can just talk myself out of feeling these effects but not sure how true that really is. Is there such a thing as mind over matter and willing ourselves well? I’m giving it a good try!

[Painting-girl in reply to VeronicaGB]

It's worth a go, I suppose, but pushing yourself to do things with a concussion doesn't usually help I'm afraid, so try and be a little kind to yourself. Take it one step at a time. Some people seem to me to bounce back after even several head knocks, but sometimes recovery takes longer if you've had prior concussions - so perhaps be prepared for a bit of a longer haul, and to sit it out this time. How long have the effects gone on for in the past - and how long have you been having problems after this last concussion, if you don't mind me asking? It's miserable, but what is scaring you most about this time VeronicaGB? And what range of symptoms you are coping with at the moment?

The good thing is, you're in the right place here 🌸

[VeronicaGB in reply to Painting-girl]

Having headaches and a little dizziness. I guess the only reason I have fear is because it’s happened so many times. This one doesn’t feel any different. I am resting when I need to rest. I just moved to a new area, so I don’t have my usual care network around me. I have to find a new chiro and massage therapist here. It will all be fine. Like I said, it’s annoying to go through this yet again. Thank you for your encouragement! It helps!!!

[Painting-girl in reply to VeronicaGB]

My pleasure 😊. Much harder happening for you in a new environment, that adds to brain strain just on its own!

Try and get your balance of physical movement and rest right for you - one of the risks of prolonged post concussion is 'de-conditioning' so try and build in some gentle walking. My neurologist made the most useful suggestion ever, which was to pick up a stationary bike or crosstrainer on social media, and just do whatever I could manage every day. Later on, my concussion specialist physio told me to always exercise at a level well below any symptoms like headache, dizziness or nausea being triggered ; this tends to be heart rate dependent after TBI, a symptom is being exercise intolerant, so don't push yourself on the exercise front.

Let us know how you get on 🌸