To all those wonderful people out there who love and care for someone with a brain injury… stay strong.
After our 29 year old son sustained a devastating brain injury in a car crash at the end of 2013, our family believed that his life was over… he was in a coma, not breathing independently, not walking or talking and had five months in hospital learning everything over again. Doctors confirmed our worst fears for his future…We tried to be positive but it was hard. Very hard.
He ‘lost’ his life but he was still alive. And there was a time when we had to mourn for him.
But this is a GOOD post! A post to hopefully let you see that some good outcomes are possible after this awful thing happens… I know that not everyone gets the outcome that they want (and it can take YEARS to get any kind of outcome). I’m not saying that. Just please try and keep the faith.
Not everything is perfect of course (when is it ever?) and our son still desperately misses the person he once was. But the more of his old life he regains, the better he begins to feel.
He drives - so he has freedom. He lives alone in his own house - so he has independence. He has met a lovely young woman who understands him (and never knew him before- she just loves this version of him). He has a permanent part-time job with a wonderful company (a garden centre) who embraces his imperfections and enjoys his strengths.
He just keeps on trying.
As his mother I am now hopeful for his future. The more he achieves, the more he learns…. and it goes on.
Onwards and Upwards.
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Written by
Elkay_1954
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22 Replies
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Fantastic news, having the will and belief to keep going is more than half the battle, the rest falls into place over time.
Hi Elkay_1954, thank you so much for putting your post on this forum. Yesterday was one year since my son had a cardiac arrest which due to lack of oxygen suffered a severe hypoxia brain injury. The past 12 months have been such a struggle not only for our son but for all of his family. Unfortunately he is now very disabled with multiple complex needs which is hard to accept - we have also grieved for the son we have lost.
Your post lifted my heart yesterday and made me smile that your son has been able to achieve so much and hopefully continues to do so. Realistically we know any future improvements for our son will be very limited but we will never give up hope and will celebrate any small achievement as small is massive for him and us.
Onwards and upwards has been our family motto since this happened - he /us have endured so many setbacks but we will continue to be positive for the future.
Thank you sca2013. It is such a rollercoaster journey - ours made even harder by the acute hospitals failings in our sons care. This has been so detrimental to our sons progress but as you say we will keep hoping for ‘some positive surprises’. We know our son is a determined strong character and that inner strength is still there - he has already shown this several times over the last 12 months.
This forum helps me face each day and helps me through - I am so grateful I found my ‘virtual friends’. Nanapal. x
Thank you so much for sharing your inspirational story - 6 months into my own tbi everything seems so grim. Just can't find the enthusiasm or energy to achieve anything - need to make big changes but can't see a way forward. Feeling very grateful to have this website to read that amazing things can happen after injury - wishing you and your son the very best - take care x
Your abilities to deal with your new life and learn new ways to have a more positive future can take place over time. If I had stopped being so angry about what had happened and the loss of my old life, I could have gotten to my life as it is today 3-4 years sooner. One thing have have kept focused on that seems to work for me is to make each day better than the day before. Of course there are plenty of days that I'm not able to do that, yet that is my intent. Currently my life works so much better than before. I experience times of happiness, joy and love, which I thought I had lost forever. And yes 6 months is very early on in creating your new life. I wish for you better days each day possible.
Thank you very much - it's hard to admit to oneself the extent of the injury - often I try and think that I will soon be back to 'normal' - your words are very helpful and I wish you well 👍🙂
Thank you - 23 years on with some pretty awful times it is hard to find the will and inspiration to carry on at times - you just helped enormously Elkay
My son had a TBI last November, he’s 18. We too are still mourning the loss of the son we had. The hospital wanted to put him in a nursing home saying that he couldn’t be rehabilitated due to the severity of his injury but we didn’t give in and he is now in a specialist rehab unit. The staff told us yesterday that they are starting to see his personality coming out and he’s trying to talk. When we visited him he gave us a big smile and he was laughing. I cried. We are all forever hopeful and reading your story helps to keep the hope alive. Thank you
thankyou so much for that lovely post,you expressed perfectly how some of us feel/have felt.you go through phases,i personally just seem to be fighting everyone at this point but im ok with this,and am getting really quite good at it
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