Struggling with what the future holds

[Lindsay9023]

Hi everyone this is my first post. My fiancé had a bad accident at work and has been in hospital for 3 weeks now although his chest injuries are getting better and the doctors are happy with how his breathing is going he’s on the lowest low flow which is great, he’s slightly opening his eyes but not focusing and is slightly moving. The doctors are worried that he’s not progressing enough and are still worried about his brain injuries, they have a mri booked so hopefully that will shed some more light but I’m so so worried about the outcome and can’t stop thinking the worst it’s heartbreaking and I’m feeling so helpless. Not knowing is the worst part I’m so scared I’m never going to get my best friend back again I’m really struggling how to process all of this

[Marnie22]

Hi. I am so sorry for what has happened. It must be such a shock to you. I can strongly recommend the Headway helpline on 0808 800 2244. They can help with emotional support as well as answering more practical questions and they can also help you with navigating the health system and how things work. They have been wonderfully helpful to me. I hope things start to improve. Sending best wishes.

[New_beginning]

Hello, life will be different in any aspects what recovery holds . My husband (42) nearing 15months from TBI and I'm only going though motions of our future. It's not what we expected, it's been rough but I cling on for hope still, and I've stood by his side at every aspect. The emotions is frightful, please keep healthy and safe to be his added strength.. I hope scans bring more clarity very soon. Hes a survivor take comfort hes a strong man. X

[cat3]

Such a scary time for you Lindsay, especially as doctors are cautious about predicting an outcome. As brain injury cases are unique to each individual, any prognosis would be guesswork,

But your partner has overcome the physical challenges and that, together with his relatively young age, suggests he has the wherewithal to find his way back, although three weeks is such a short time in recovery terms.

I had a bleed on the brain with no other injuries and regained limited cognition at around the 5 week point.

Unlike other organs which can heal quite quickly our brains are amazingly complex organs which need much more time to reconfigure and rewire after trauma.

Let us know how your partner progresses over the following weeks won't you m'love. Remember that whilst the passage of time is stressful for you, time is the brain's main healer.

All best wishes, Cat x

[pozza40]

HiI am so sorry you and your partner are going through this. My husband suffered a massive stroke 13 months ago and when I think back to when he was initially in hospital, I can remember how distressing it was and how lost I felt without him. You think about them every minute of every day praying for good news and improvement and everyone seems to say to you that every brain injury is different and only time will tell.

I am sorry that you are probably feeling that same desperation now, but I am afraid it’s true. Only time gives the answers.13 months down the line, we are still trying to process it all and how our lives are changed.

The only advice I can give is to try to take a breath, I know it’s near impossible but try to calm yourself and pause,it’s going to take a while and you are going to need your strength to get through this, but I am sure you will.

Take care

[123Bereft]

Pozza's words are exactly right, I'm the same, 11, months for me. I do hope the MRI is positive, keep us posted please and all the best.

[Pairofboots]

Hi Lindsay. Anything I say is unlikely to give much respite from your worries. The fact that he is generally doing well is positive. As for any head injury, it is never clear cut how much if any damage has occurred, and even with the MRI, no one will have all the answers until your fiancé is awake and had time to catch-up with what has happened.

I'm not suggesting that you have any false hope, but you are working with the unknown. The most difficult time in any recovery is the not knowing. Try to keep your thoughts on the positive, and give yourself time to rest, eat and keep hydrated.

This forum will hold your hand along the way, we are made up of carers and survivers, so if there is anything that you want to ask, feel free. No one here is an expert, but we have a wealth of lived experience to draw on.

Take care 🌹

[Lottierose1]

Hi Lindsay, I’m sorry to hear about what you and you’re partner are going through xAs others have stated, we are not qualified enough to predict the outcome of your partner’s injury due to the brain being such a complexed organ. All I can say is I suffered a head injury and brain bleed and was on a ventilator for a few days. I was fortunate with the amazing help and support by the specialists to be recovering in a rehabilitation ward among other patients.

I’m a as t home now and even though I’ve improved so much, I’m still in recovery.

I sincerely wish you both well and realise how emotionally draining it must be, my daughter suffered the same.

Headway are here to support you and give you their experienced advice x All I know is from my experience, it takes time for the brain to recover from an injury but it’s amazing how it does over time. My thoughts are with you both xx

[BRLB96]

Hi Lindsay, sorry you and your partner are absolutely going through one of the worst times imaginable. All I can say is stay strong. It was very brave of you to make the post and it's certainly a great place to do so. Your fiancé seems like he's in a very similar position to what I was in nearly two years ago - re the lungs and head. I too - somewhat like Lottie - had to have a brain aneurysm, was on a ventilator and put in an induced coma for two weeks. I am, fortunately for my family, friends and last but not least fiancé, well and truly on the mend and look to make a full recovery.

All I can say is stay positive and trust the process I am sure all will end well. Positivity is the key.

Wishing you and your partner all the very best and if you want to send a message I would welcome that and see if there is anything I can do to help.

[Lindsay9023]

You are all so very kind to reply. Andy is still much the same they have given him medicine which they give people with locked in syndrome but they say they aren’t saying he has it it’s to stimulate the brain we just have to wait for them to do the mri then we will know more. It’s nice to hear all the great stories of how people have recovered it makes me feel positive. I had a few dark days which I realise are going to happen from time to time and that’s ok as I need to get my emotions out, I’m trying to be strong and positive for him and it is still early days I just hope and pray we get a miracle x