Just got up showered and dressed and now I need a rest.9 years on and still pacing myself.
If we go for our daily constitutional, then that’s about it for the day, maybe I can rustle up the evening meal.
When does the house get cleaned and the garden smartened up?
Frustration abounds.
Just saying
Janet x
Nothing wrong with pacing yourself! You've walked marathons, remember. You're very capable, after a good nap. 
If a touch of empathy helps, I'm close to bedridden after two afternoons of gardening ! I honestly do feel for you Janet (quite apart from your recent loss of a very dear person from your life). After a lifetime of juggling work/family/social life, this 'New' us still feels hard to take at times.
For me it's mostly about reassuring family that I can cope, especially after son & daughter lost their father from same brain injury as mine. Lockdown has come in handy for me in hiding inadequacies (and white lies) but it's a relief having this place to open up about our true struggles.
I think the pandemic has brought many of us down further than we even realize. After such uncertainty and weird changes in lifestyle it's easy to feel 'What's the point' on top of the already challenging fatigue of Bi.
May your days be checkered with really good ones now & again m'love ; hopefully we can meet up again before too long. I think of you often.... Love E. xx
Thanks for the good will.I think im lonelier now than ive ever been , despite having Vincent and David home with me.
My best friend died recently too, not covid and she was 87 but, so sad.
I really need a spell of good weather now to keep my head on an even keel.
Soon as we can we will meet
Jx
I get it ; I do. Although we know we're loved, we also know loved ones can't ever feel how we feel.
Unless someone comes up with a gauge for our foreheads with fatigue read-outs, the fatigue will mean nothing to anyone but ourselves ......so yes Janet, the loneliness is inevitable. I've found it more so this year since bereavements.
Oddly I feel less alone when taking solitary walks and engaging with nature 😏. xx
Fingers crossed you get the conditions to allow some 'out time'. Neither I nor Trudie da dog mind the rain too much, which is just as well...as my daytime contact with humans depends on making it to the park.
Take care
K
Hi Janet - So sorry to hear about your best friend, it's horrible losing friends.
I think you voiced what I was thinking about the house and garden, is it the brighter weather nudging a long latent spring cleaning urge - that we just need to ignore, do you think?
Rescue for me last weekend came in the shape of my son and daughter-in-law on a cleaning mission - provided I kept an eye on the mini granddaughter - so I was mega shattered Monday - not sure that was the effect they intended exactly (!) but I wouldn't have missed her for the world. I was jolly glad of the help, because I'm struggling a bit one way and another at the moment, but simultaneously mortified they were doing it (annoyed with myself too, because it should have felt like a total win-win ..)
Take care, it's finally starting to warm up a bit out there, that'll cheer us up.
Jen x
I’m all for ignoring spring cleaning urges!My nephew and his wife used to pop round once a month and spruce things up for me but then he died suddenly and unexpectantly so that left a huge void,
Then earlier this year my sister died from COVID.
I expect that I am still grieving so it is hard to summon the energy, it will come again I know.
We are hoping to visit my eldest daughter in June, she lives just outside Eastbourne, a touch of sea air may help.
Take care
Janetx
Oh Janet, that's a great deal of loss, I'm so very sorry to hear about your sister dying from Covid, that is doubly unfair. Sisters are such a part of us. They've just always been there. You're always so kind and wise to everyone here - we're all rooting for you too.
Hope you can gain some comfort from a good hug with your daughter when you see her. The countryside around Eastbourne is very lovely, and it's always good to be near the sea.
Love and prayers, Jen xx
I think we all get that feeling at some point where the life and energy gets drained out of us.
My wife and I werer ecently talking about "tonics" that were around in the 60's and 70's - something you could drink each day to pick yourself up and give you a boost. Nothing like today's energy drinks these were marketed as almost medicinal and recommended by doctors.
It would be nice to have something like that today and each morning have a big glass to set you up for the day.
I remember being given “Carter’s Little Liver Pills” on occasions by my mother. And of corse there was Andrew’s liver salts. As well as “ iron tonics”, Metatone being a brand I think.They wouldn’t pass scrutiny today I suppose, but probably had a great placebo effect.
Janetx
Sanatogen and of course old fashioned orange lucozade with the cellophane on the bottle when your were poorly retro-hen.com/2015/11/14/re...
Of course many of the "natural" remedies back then were pretty dangerous one way or another. But it would be nice , to pop into the chemist get a pick me up and get a ready made boost.
Hi Janet, sounds a familiar tale. I've been doing my kitchen for six years, well got to admit I did have a four year break, but I know that feeling of frustration.
You do as much as you can, when you can. You know yourself best.
I've lived in groundhog day for ten years. We tend to forget the days that seem to run well, but they do happen. I think (only just as a write this) we need a positivity calendar to remind us. I have so many reminders and adverse events on my phone. I need to start logging the good, as maybe you could?
Take care, strange saying, take care, as if we expect someone to take silly risks. Best wishes, Ian 🍀
this is great so proud of you
What can the NhS offer... nothing but lies 
Rant! How much longer?
my relationship doesn't feel like one anymore 
omg all to much for me
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