stuggling to cope

[janey61]

well hi,

not been on a long time , son 25 abi due to stroke and meningitis as a baby say autism type traits ...as his sole parent and family member i,m really struggling, as people try to understand his ways and offer me advice !

my best friend called my son a shit bag to me in a text yesterday, she has worked with special needs and was his t a at one point ,however i told her some things he was saying to me just to offload, she took it that I was desperate and text me back with a massive rant about how he needs to learn respect for me and for me to show him her text so he understands he cant keep saying things that upset me ...i,m devastated woken up very depessed and lonely ....

I have been an amazing mum i know that always fighting for my sons cause , hes very frustrated atm as his care services are letting him down , we've had crisis meeting last week she knows how desperate ive been and he has a lot of hurt and anget from his past plus he wants to drive but has haemianopia and cant ..this makes him very upset .

her son who she left at 13 ,,is a pillar of the community will help anyone and a credit to "her " ...

i,m devastated , she promised to call me last night as i was so upset and had my son with me ..she didnt

Also my neighbour invited us in the garden for cake ,,,, she went on about her health and my son doesn't do reciprocal conversations at all he got frustrated couldnt keep up and his head started hurting he threw a lid at me and then she said to him about the police if he did things like that in public....

I feel awful today , like i,m the failure ,,,no supprt anywhere

headway essex starting their support groups soon though and mental health services have stepped up getting learning disability psychiatist to meet him .

everything such a fight .

sorry to offload dont know where to talk

Virginia

[Pairofboots]

Hi Virginia, you are, as you say, an amazing mother. There seems to be some misunderstanding by those you would normally turn to. Perhaps you won't feel like it, but maybe explain to you friend that you were offloading with the text. Text messages, the great way to get the wrong end of the stick.

I should have said welcome. This is a safe place to offload, have a rant. You would be surprised how many people just need to let rip. Sometimes they need help, some times, it is a problem shared.

You have had a lifetime of doing your very best. On here you are never alone.

Take care

Ian

[janey61 in reply to Pairofboots]

Thankyou... She was adament he's a shit bag and now won't answer my calls

[Pairofboots in reply to janey61]

I'm so sorry that is the response you got, and I am sorry that I thought it would help.

[New_beginning]

Sorry you are having this from someone you thought you could trust and rely on. Your not a bad mother, you are problem solving what has caused this sudden rant. I'm glad services becoming involved which your doing for his best interest. X

[ored13]

Maybe time for a new friend who maybe comes from a network of people who understand rather than judge. It's not good that she could not read that you just needed a friend, and that friends don't tell other friends that their children are bad. (Within reason) It's in the mothering friendship handbook of life. Sorry that you had that reaction. I'm hoping my friends remain my friends and don't turn judgemental when my husband returns home. Because there will be days when I ask for help and there will be days when I just want to complain. However I have already considered that I need a friend or two who are carers as I will be, so we are speaking the same language. You will feel better once you have the support from yoir Headway group. The past year has been hard going not having that extra support. ❤️