Post lockdown anxiety

[Headshrink]

Cant recall if ive asked this before but im starting to feel a little anxious about the future. I went from normal life to hospital, a brief sojourn into normal life in 2019 amidst the chaos of sensory overload and fatigue, to this, so i havent really had an experience of normal life outside lockdown. I imagine i wont be doing the same stuff as before; for example,tennis is out the window as is jogging. I stopped drinking and i anticipate pubs and restaurants will be really annoying. In addition i have separated from my wife and kids so all change.I will have to developa whole new life and its hard to know what it might be like and also worry ill feel left out seeing everyone else bustling about as normal. Anyone share this? Or have any wisdom to share with me?

[Pairofboots]

Hi. Your post reminds me of my time at Bethlem Hospital, Crisis Recovery Unit. This unit worked with people who self harmed. They followed the principles of DBT.

In one session many of the patients were talking about the up coming Christmas would be for them. It was a period that all the patients would go home, a couple it was the first leave they were going to take.

It struck me that no one in that session, staff or patients knew what would happen including me knew what that Christmas had in store for any of us.

So me being gob almighty, realled out all the anxieties that had been voiced, not addressing any of them. I could feel the anger building as I said each one, eyes like lazers fixed on me. But when I came to the end of the list, I turned to the staff, starting with the manager. I could see her reaction, as I asked her what Christmas had in store for her, what was going to go wrong. And so on I went round the staff, finishing with my own account. I then pointed out that everyone in the room had anxieties, and that this was natural. The room breathed again, the anger was withdrawn, and the lazers turned off.

At the debrief after the session I was expecting to be shredded. The manager started, "well that was confrontational ............but........", She went on to say how I had taken the anxieties, absorbed the anger, and then gave the tools back to process the anxieties. Ok I had to take the feedback from the other staff which was a little more direct.

But I guess what I am trying to say is, we all have anxieties, whether we admit them or not. But none are certainties.

I hope this tale makes some sense in relation to what you wrote? 🍀

[Headshrink in reply to Pairofboots]

Thanks. Yes i recognise we all undoubtedly feel the same. Im just a wind up merchant really...

[Pairofboots in reply to Headshrink]

No, you are not, a wind up merchant, you raise a valid concern. If you have thought it, many others will have thought it, but might not have the confidence to raise it.

Take care

[Headshrink in reply to Pairofboots]

This is what i tend to do however is put provocative stuff out there and see what happens. Although i am genuinely concerned as my life has changed dramatically and i havent experienced real life for ages. Ive had a few days of losing my centered zen mojo but ill rediscover it again and all will be good. im kind of nervous and excited at the same time

[Painting-girl]

I think we're all going to face challenges as lockdown eases - for me because I have definitely coped better living a quieter life than even the already-scaled-down life I was living pre lockdown. But I think I'd rather feel better in myself and do less and have less fatigue. You've had a very tough time with a separation to deal with as well though.

[cat3]

It's an interesting point. I'm 9 years on but still struggle with social interaction and tire more easily. I do still tackle physical challenges ; it's people and too much stimulus (noise, bright lights, supermarkets) which stress me out. So, apart from the fear of infection and the awful death toll, I've welcomed the year of lockdowns and distancing.

The day will come when I'm expected to re-engage with life 'out there' ...and it's a pretty ominous prospect. I've seen my son and daughter (at 2 mtr distances) outdoors quite regularly but they understand and accept the 'new me'. But with others who I've kept in contact with by phone during Covid, and who've never really grasped the limiting effects of brain injury, it'll be hard catching up.

Something I particularly welcomed after braving an unaccompanied walk around the park was the sight of many other solitary folk taking exercise and escaping the isolation of indoors. It was an occasional knowing nod or "Hi" from strangers as recognition of our common predicament that was so reassuring.

Maybe we can all compare notes here on Headway of tentative moves back into more 'worldly' lives when it's safe to do so. This is why the forum is so valuable ; we can be amongst others in great numbers .......without the need to be anyone other than ourselves.

Keep in touch Headshrink (safety in numbers). Take care, Cat x

[Headshrink in reply to cat3]

Thanks cat. I feel the same. I went for a walk in the park last week and krpt bumping into people she knew for arbitrary pleasantries. Buy the end i was delighted to get home to my own space. It is really weird. Although ive never been overly sociable i feel ive achieved a new level!I am currently sitting watching 2 workmen replace a curtain rail. Just before my incident i put up a curtain track on my own. I am delighted that DIY is no longer my problem🤣

[cat3 in reply to Headshrink]

It's a cliché I know m'love but - small steps. Small steps 😏. See you later... x

[iforget]

I'm with Cat. (Hi Cat! 😁) here. Its been yonks since my TBI (August 2006)and my life changed in an instant. Took me years to adjust to my new normal and it(new normal) was a lot less sociable than before because I get overloaded and exhausted, have enduring memory and cognitive issues and I no longer moved in the same circles as a lot of my friends.

Fast forward to the March 2020 pandemic lockdown and I get my letter to say I am in the most vulnerable group (unrelated to TBI) and should shield...and I have been doing so for a few days short of a year now.

I do go out of the house once a day... late in the evenings we (husband and I) walk the side streets locally to get exercise. I tried the park but there are just too many people and I find my tolerance for "crowds" has worsened since I began shielding. Late night local side streets are pretty clear with only the odd lone dog walker to be seen

I do speak to people occasionally and I have the odd socially distanced chat with my neighbour but for the most part I have existed quite happily within my little bubble and the thought of a return to normal life with all the hustle and bustle fills me with dread...doesn't help that I live in Central London of course but still...

Slowly does it will be the way for me once the lockdown starts to ease...but I expect it will take a fair while for me to feel okay about reintegration. I am rather happily unsociable I think

[cat3 in reply to iforget]

Morning iforget - Good to see you ! x

[Marnie22]

Hi. I thought you might like to read this article. theguardian.com/society/202...

Best wishes.

[Headshrink in reply to Marnie22]

Thanks that just fills me with more anxiety . Im a psychiatrist so ill be overwhelmed by work!

[Marnie22 in reply to Headshrink]

Oh gosh, sorry!