One of the issues of lockdown easing - catching up... - Headway


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One of the issues of lockdown easing - catching up on bad news


With people emerging from lockdown either through easing or feeling more confident after having a second jab, it gives us a chance to catch up on people we haven't seen for a while.

However, one particular aspect is the bad/sad news. Twice over the last few days bumped into a few people unexpectedly. With the usual Post injury lack of tact, put my foot in it on both occasions. I asked how is "so and so" because I haven't seen him around for a while? Only to be told on both occasions that they died last year.

Almost want to ask, if there is anybody else whom has died that I don't know about to avoid any future gaffs but that would be so inappropriate.

12 Replies

I've lost three special people since the second lockdown. One was out of the blue, but I heard of all three immediately ......still shocking each time though. First was sudden, unexplained death ; second was lack of cancer care and third was Covid ; all very much missed....

I just hope 2021 will be a less stressful year for everyone.... xx

sospan in reply to cat3

Sorry for your loss. It is never easy no matter how many times you go through it.

There has been a lot of people whom missed out on diagnosis and treatment whom are now quite poorly and probably won't feature in the Covid figures.

cat3 in reply to sospan

Not wanting to be the voice of doom, but I do believe the fallout from neglect of seriously ill patients (inevitable and unavoidable I know) will prove the major tragedy when the final numbers are known.

My 50 year old next door neighbour is terminally ill owing to a 14month suspension of cancer treatment ; his original prognosis in Feb 2020 was good. Same with my cousin who's symptoms were missed when GPs closed their doors. Another cousin took her own life after the onset of depression during the isolation of 'staying safe'.

These are just people I knew. Imagine the numbers multiplied by Millions.

I struggle with my own lack of treatment for heart issues and lack of treatment for chronic tendonitis and arthritis but, honestly Sos, I'm just thankful to be alive ! 😏

Love to you & Sharon... xx

sospan in reply to cat3

I can see a huge number of legal cases coming soon. The suspension of a number of services or reduced capacity has been largely unnecessary.

I sadly had to put in complaints to our local Health Board about the under utilisation of staff and facilities. On one occasion, we were waiting for a consultants appointment and 5 nurses were stood in the waiting room chatting away for 20 minutes. The same with the X-ray and MRI department, 6 radiologists sitting around with no patients and it was the same in Ophthalmology department 7 nurses sat there reading "ladies magazines" because they had outsourced the services to a local private hospital and sent the NHS staff to work alongside the 2 private nurses.

When the nurse manager called me to discuss the complaint and why the excess nurses had not been deployed to support Covid or other front line services. He did his best to dismiss the complaint but could not defend it and opened up that it was chaos because of bad administration, unions blocking changing working practices and staff not wanting to give up the relative luxury of out patients services. At one point he had to pay extra to get fully qualified nurses to assist in the phlebotomy service because there was a 3 month wait.

I can see all this pouring out once a review into the NHS and how it addresses the massive backlog and the potential unnecessary deaths. It certainly isn't going to be good for large parts of the NHS.

cat3 in reply to sospan

Seeing how all public services are all being underfunded and depleted it seems we're headed for privatisation by stealth, regardless of the pandemic. I've seen several examples of private healthcare. The luxury of being treated without delay in state of the art clinics, and having free tea and biscuits during the short wait can be so alluring.

I'm sure this government would relish the US model where adequate healthcare would be denied without hefty insurance. I have friends in the NHS, the fire service and police ; all are agreed on the stress of who's next in the firing line and of the ever increasing workload with diminishing staff numbers. xx

sospan in reply to cat3

Must confess my family and myself are / were frequent customers of private health always in a private hospital. Oddly not so much about speed of treatment, more about faith in the staff and standards of hygiene.

Whenever, I am sat in an NHS waiting room observing the staff and what they are doing, I can't help comparing what I used to do previously and sort out the delinquent staff and redundant work, reward the good staff and get everything back on track.

Oh boy would I like to get my hands on parts of the NHS

The opposite happened to us this weekend. Lovely sunshine and lucky to have attraction on doorstep. After assessing and estimated time for walk; and feeling brave to manage we went on walk less than 22mins today it's his new record.

Two so called friends ignored us, it's not the first to happen over the year. I dont think anyone knows how to approach us or frightened with approach my husband will display, and in a way not formulated a technique if ever stopped. Hes been seen displaying poor behaviour when out with me trying to calm him down with screaming toddler, and even people weve known turned back and shuffled away, so not associated with us.

I automatically think ignorance of people, and friends have become strangers, but also wonder if they know it's me who has to calm him down and take the blunt with toddler at hand. Our son wont come out with us; hes been honest he wont until behaviour better managed as hes been upset tearful from embarrassment.

Apart that lovely walk, husband focused well on walk as discussed route prior but getting out car he had a moment but quickly dealt with as thought we'd have to go back home. So successful day but slight glitches after, calmly dealt with though to enjoy rest of day in garden playing while husband rested.

sospan in reply to New_beginning

It is one of the things with a head injury it really does sort out the friends from the acquaintances. So many of us have found our so called friends evaporate once we become in need or no longer of any use.

At least you had a good day in the sun despite the minor incidents.

I think we are all finding out what has been going on beyond the front door. People that have passed too early, others that have been unwell in other ways.

It's yet another new world for us to come to terms with.

sospan in reply to Pairofboots

The behind closed doors scenario is the one thing I have been dreading with all the single and lonely people in the UK. With all the usual services suspended or severely limited and with people isolating, i fear there could be a lot of people whom are deceased and yet to be discovered.

I fear in the next few months we are going to get a slew of cases where people have dropped off the radar since April last years and for one reason or another nobody has noticed they are not around or been in contact.

Horrible thought for the people and the persons sadly whom have to deal with it

Pairofboots in reply to sospan

Very true sospan. Sadly a year is a long time for my memory, and names slip. I just see faces that are no longer there. There will be joy, but many will have the burden of grief.

sospan in reply to Pairofboots

So many people I used to chat to and never knew their names - people in houses I passed, dog walkers etc. sometimes you realise they aren't there anymore. I used to wave to an old dear who had nothing much else to do than sit in the window and watch people go by. Went passed her house today and a young lady with a baby was working there and you can only ponder the outcome.

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