I'm ok

[Dogsabighelp]

Hi folks,major wobble last night I'm OK now.took dog out for a long walk earlier.its just a lot to deal with.I'm so very angry and can't shake it off.its all so unfair.my son has made such good progress in just 10 weeks I know should hold on to this,and I do,I'm terrified as to his brain injury how am I ever going to be able to explain this to him when I have no understanding myself?

[cat3]

Hi D. I know both the delay in transferring your son to to the rehab unit and the legalities & injustice surrounding the crash are bound to be weighing on you, but maybe try to put the crash issues on the back burner 'til you have the wherewithal to cope with it.

Regards explaining your son's tragic circumstances you have to stop applying so much guilt to yourself m'love. It isn't your job as a mother to account for all the awful injuries caused by the other driver or by your inability to be beside him throughout lockdown restrictions.

Your job is to love him and do the best you can ......and that's exactly what you've been doing from day 1.

He won't be looking for explanations for some time yet. And when he starts asking about the whys and whens it won't be aimed at you. I'm sure if he were aware of your fears and frustration, and could express himself, he'd tell you to stop torturing yourself. But for now it'll be agonizing for you as time just feels like it's standing still ; it's a scary, hurtful time for loved ones.

Neuro issues are incredibly slow to balance out and time is essential for recuperation. This, together with waiting for a bed in the rehab unit (Newcastle hopefully) will feel like an eternity, but when it all suddenly falls into place you'll need all your strength and wits to cope with the visiting and face to face emotions. So sorry you're struggling D and I hope the rehab bed becomes available soon. Love Cat x

[Dogsabighelp in reply to cat3]

I wish this wasn't happening its the weirdest situation incredibly hard to deal with.I can say to you( you've followed my journey and I trust you), someone today when I was out with dog mentioned " the boy" how is he etc.my son has a name.and went on to tell me they had vaccine why can't I?she has known me forever and has two sons around my lads age.insensitive?ignorant cruel?

[cat3 in reply to Dogsabighelp]

People are often insensitive D. I doubt it's deliberately cruel (though ignorant maybe). Don't let these things get to you . You and your son and other family are all that matter right now so please distance yourself from aggravation and concentrate on looking after your-SELF. 😏

Thinking of you m'love. Take care, Cat x

[Painting-girl]

So sorry for everything that's happening to you D. Please get some support and information from the Headway helpline, and your local group too. Perhaps someone here can explain how they can support you and your son too? x

[123Bereft]

When my partner arrived at rehab I was offered (and accepted) counselling sessions provided free of charge by them. When you son gets his placement, ask if this is available to you. I'm sure you are aware, but this is a natural process you are going through, its grief, and anger is a very important stage. I still go to bed thankful that another day is over and that means I am another day closer to knowing how my situation will pan out, take care x

[Shreds]

I feel for you and the situation with your son. As was said to me, some things just need ‘parking’ for now as you cant hope to deal with everything all at once.

Take time for yourself, the dog walking is both cathartic and good exercise.

You must disregard others who dont seem to care and not take it to heart. I have very little trust in others any more. People let you down and have their own issues. Try and move on from such demeaning ones. You may find others you had never considered ‘come out of the woodwork’ to give help, advice and comfort. But keep doing the walking, that will help you rationalise your day.

Your son will need all your love and support, plus a lack of anxiety, so keeping “you” up to that, is at present, the priority. Never forget that.

Virtual hug.❤️

[Dogsabighelp in reply to Shreds]

100% my friend and thanksxx

[charlie5540]

Do you have an assistance dog dogsabighelp?

[charlie5540]

I get terrified or freeze whenever more is asked of me than I have.....so end up being taken advantage of or to be precise being "taken to the cleaners" after which and before I spend so much time worrying like u do about how to explain tbi to your son