I honestly just need to vent. I dont know if I'm seeking advice or what but if I dont let this out somewhere in going to implode. I just feel like this is too much. I was just treading water before my TBI, now I feel like I am completely drowning. I havent had an easy life. I finally started to make it on my own when I met my kids dad things were great then he started behaving strangely and it turned out he'd been abusing our then 2 young children. When I left him I didn't know I was 5 months pregnant, I didn't even have a bank account and I had 2 toddlers. It was mental. It was an adjustment to say the least. The child I was pregnant with is now 3 years old. I have to survive on benefits as I'm a lone parent. I cannot trust my family. They are not healthy people to put it mildly. My payments for benefits are always being messed up. They either pay them really late or not at all. Sometimes they don't pay them for months. My situation hasn't changed as far as they're concerned. I keep them up to date. They always say its a technical glitch or my papers got misfiled but it happens all the time. How can this happen so often to one person?! My oldest is soon to be 7 and he has special needs. I get no help with him. I've found out I am on the spectrum myself too. Late last year I hit my head and got a concussion sometime after, just before Christmas I hit it again really bad and couldn't even talk properly. I had to sit on the sofa and play simple computer games so I could stay awake and at least keep my kids alive. In the past year I have hit my head about 11 more times or more. No one is helping me. My GP basically told me my problems were because I'm a single mum. Great doctor. I am in the process of getting a new doctor. Everything takes me months to do because I keep forgetting. I have a noise issue with my neighbours purposely keeping us up. I really don't know why but their behaviour is gross. I've had to stop my psychology course which makes me worry about job prospects going back to work when my youngest is 5yo. I dont have any friends as I am not good at attracting good people. Everything makes my head ache and I think I may have become anaemic. I was borderline before but I've ploughed through my tablets the past couple of weeks. I hate my house. I feel like I should be grateful but this house, with its issues is too much for me with my issues. I dont like to complain. I prefer to be pro active. But honestly this is a lot for one person completely on their own. This isn't even all of, just what I can think of off the top of my head. I feel like I'm trying to swim and breathe in treacle. This feels like insanity. But I'm not crazy. This is just too much for one person and I feel like I'm screaming for help and no one is helping. I feel like I'm failing my children. Since I hit my head the last time I havent been able to do their school work with them, they are home school. I feed them and clothe them and keep them clean but I can't take them out as much as they need and I find it hard to play with them for too long or do much really. If I do anything much I just start passing out. I need a nap after getting a few groceries at the shop. Its ridiculous. The neighbours giving us all sleep deprevation is the worst. Any way if you made it this far well done and sorry for complaining. Thanks for letting vent. I hope you're OK and if you're not I hope you find a way to get there. ✌ ☮
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Lalaland88
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I am so sorry that things have been so tough for you. I can't write any more right now as I am not very well and need to go to bed, but I am sending you a hug and good wishes. 🙂🌸
It is terribly hard to try and get help when you are at a low point, particularly with a brain injury, and a family to look after, but I hope you can - and try and post here to let everyone know how you are.
I'm so sorry you're having to struggle with so many issues Lala.
As others have said, you need practical help, and the Headway helpline is a good place to start (freephone 0808 800 2244). You'll be met with patience and kindness, so please contact them on Monday between 9am & 5pm.
Being plagued with insurmountable problems when we're at our most vulnerable and in poor health is a rotten, lonely place to be ; I'm not surprised you're feeling overwhelmed. But please try Headway ,,,,,,,,,and the other suggestions too ; there are good folk out there if you can connect with them.
I DID read your, actually quite long, 'Post'... one 'thing' that Stands Out is that you repeatedly say, that you, have 'Banged' your head. Can I ask 'How', do you have a 'problem' with Balance? Or are you 'Unco-ordinated' in some way?
I, fully understand, that you are rather, how can I put this, 'Distrusting' of people generally.... but you DO need to seek some 'Help'.
I would Start, with your GP- I understand that getting an Appiontment can be 'tricky' at the moment. If you don't have any 'Joy', with your Doctor, perhaps the CAB- or Social Services might help. You, VERY Clearly DO, need some 'intervention' of some kind Lalaland.
Did I read, your 'Post' correctly... are you trying to Home School, your Children too? Can I be Honest, with you? Don't.... NOT at the moment.... It's NOT doing You, or your Children, any 'Good' at all- Sorry but it just isn't. Get them Enlisted, in the local School- heck you might even make some Friends, from the other Mums, and Dads.
You DO need to make yourself 'Known', to Social Sevices, If only to acess 'Help' for your Abused Children. Most Social Workers, despite there 'reputation' in some quarters, DON'T actually 'Bite' Lalaland- in actual fact most DO want to 'Help'. Social Workers also do NOT Remove Children, unless it is Absolutely Necessary... and YOU are not abusing them! Again, you might find another Friend, in a Social Worker.
I 'feel' that you need to, very gently, put some 'feelers' out- as you have done here and just 'Test' the water, so to speak. Despite your bad, actually Horrible experiences, Far From Everyone is your enemy..... though I Do, fully understand, your reluctance.
Do make an Approach to Social Services and the Local School. There, really are, Hundreds- probably Thousands- of other Mums in the same 'Position' as yourself. There is, in all probability, another Girl- around your age- with Children, living within five miles of you. She is just a 'Friendless & Lonely ' as you are..... You BOTH need a Friend. Find her, visit a Child Friendly 'eatery', or pub, together. Let the children Play together.....
My 'Post' has Gone On, as long as yours did Lalaland, but I hope it has been 'Helpful' to you. Sending you My, indeed All our Love.
Advisory Teaching Service should be on hand with any home schooling to add with AndrewT, but make contact over half term, some do work term time or atleast get ball moving for new term.
Thank you all for your kind comments and words of advice. The reason I feel insane and I am so alone is because I have had social services, sure start, home start, early help, my gp, frontline and one other I cant remember right now. Sure start were amazing but obviously they're not really around anymore. Social services are a complete joke. My doctor told me my issues were because I am a single mum. I am waiting for an appointment to see a new doctor. Frontline are amazing too but its just one guy here so he doesn't have much time. The local council couldn't give a monkeys. I really am at a loss. I feel I've exhausted all resources. I want to reach out to my church but I am worried that if I do they'll have to contact social services and I'm worried they'll take my children off me. I know that's not what social services are about but they really are crooks here. Its very sad. I havent contacted citizens advice for a while as last time I went in there for help with DV they were very nice but didn't have a clue.
I phoned headway for some support or even any advice when I hit my head bad before Christmas and they told me there was nothing they could do. I explained that my doctor was no help and how I was struggling and they just shrugged me off.
I am really pleased that you guys have found help and support. That makes me feel a bit better at least.
I'm so sorry that these agencies haven't helped you so far. It must be exhausting.
It might help to have someone to help you handle these agencies and your gp, to be on your side - and get through the maze of support out there. Is there someone you trust at your church to talk to, or could you just have a quiet word with your minister/pastor and explain that you don't want your children taken into care, but you need help? You could even show them this thread if you felt able to.
You situation is tough. I cannot relate to your situation only on friends and family section and I trust no one, I stand alone.
With your 7yr old, your local authority should have a Early Help team, its a voluntary service, not statutory like having a social worker your childs school possibly family support worker could help putting referral in especially surrounding EHCP, to support putting in help or even help with DLA to ensure consistency and accurate payments. Have you still got health visitor 0-5yrs old (i know it can be a random HV, from personal experience, they should have had more input.
With uncertain times and trusting no one, consider reaching out, to the family support workers at the childrens school. Also your entitled to carers assessment, being parent/carer.
I felt so sorry when I read your post. You have done fantastically well to get your little family into a safe place and you sound really loving and caring. It is easy for me to say that things will get better, but they will. Noisy neighbours are a pain, but they are probably just noisy and because you are not well, you feel that they are doing it on purpose. When you are able to get out more and things improve, you will feel less threatened by your environment. Have you looked at the Mind website? There are lots of tips on there for feeling better and perhaps organising your life in a way that is more manageable. When it all gets on top of us, it is best to focus on some small achievable things that we can change to start to feel more in control. One idea can be to rearrange one room in your home by moving the furniture and so on. Have a good tidy up and involve your small children so that it is a game. Kids love doing stuff like that and making a den between chairs and so on. Make a comfortable place in your home where you can sit or lie down and just be with your children. You don't need to be on the go all the time. Just having them read to you or show you their work is enough for them to feel real encouragement. You do not need to do too much. On your psychology course, you may have come across cognitive behavioural therapy. It is basically a self-help strategy to change the way we look at things. Always keep water nearby and drink enough during the day; keeping water by your bedside is also a good idea as dehydration can affect your mental and physical health quite drastically. Good luck!
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Not so good after my first night out!
Burnt out.
Reaching out
Out of minimally conscious but still not fully awake
