"No Change": I feel like this is all I've heard for... - Headway

Headway

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"No Change"

123Bereft
123Bereft

I feel like this is all I've heard for 2 weeks and and still, every time I hear it, it makes me cry. I so desperately need to hear that there has been some small thing that I can cling on to, it's nearly 6 weeks now and I miss him more every day 😥 I have a busy weekend but I would still rather he having a quiet weekend at home with him.

24 Replies
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I am thinking of you. I hope things get easier in some way. Take care. 🌸

123Bereft
123Bereft in reply to Marnie22

Thank you, so do I xx

Thoughts are with you! - hopefully this'll all be just a bad memory soon

123Bereft
123Bereft in reply to B_S_A

I hope that more than anything. Thank you.

B_S_A
B_S_A in reply to 123Bereft

How're you occupying your Friday eve? Terrible movies?

123Bereft
123Bereft in reply to B_S_A

I've been out with 3 work colleagues this evening and just wanted to be home, but then when I get home, he's not here and I can't stop crying now, we were never much for going out, but I force myself now. What terrible movies do you recommend?

B_S_A
B_S_A in reply to 123Bereft

Ah I'm sorry :( - it's so rough and I wish was anything I could do...

I suppose I could recommend some actual decent movies, but the only one I can think of is this 30 second video of a corgi rolling down some stairs youtube.com/watch?v=-mmfGIu... (it's excellent I promise.

Are you sleeping ok? (silly question, but still)

123Bereft
123Bereft in reply to B_S_A

Awww, that is cute. I'm at that age when sleep isn't my friend anyway (menopause) when you add in this s**t then, yea, I don't sleep as well as I should. I keep a fairly decent routine though and eat well, so I'm doing my best.

B_S_A
B_S_A in reply to 123Bereft

Hmm yeah, it's the trash period of time to endure, my heart goes out to you for real :)

youtu.be/chhksy7wmWY

This helped me sleep/relax when I was at my worst, might help even slightly

123Bereft
123Bereft in reply to B_S_A

Thank you, sounds like you've been through a lot, it means a lot to me that you've taken time out to try and help me feel better, made me cry again though!

B_S_A
B_S_A in reply to 123Bereft

Maybe I've helped get the tears out? (that's a thing right?). But I'm here if you need me :) and I'm sure everyone else is too!

123Bereft
123Bereft in reply to B_S_A

Lol, I don't need help with that, every day I cry, thank you.

cat3
cat3 in reply to B_S_A

Hey you ; nice surprise seeing your username come up !

How're things since we last talked ages ago........much better I hope ? 🤔 x

B_S_A
B_S_A in reply to cat3

It has been an age indeed! I'm alright, having CBT now (which I should have had a loooong time ago) and hoping for another angiogram in November - how about you?

cat3
cat3 in reply to B_S_A

I'm doing OK thanks Ben. Been busy today making a new door for my daughter's garden shed ; we're both isolating so she's indoors whilst I'm outside. Hoping to get rained off tomorrow for a break from that great 'fireball' in the sky ! 🌞.

I really hope the CBT's working for you and helping with shaking off past grievances ; you so deserve some happiness. And I hope the angiogram reveals that all's stable ; fingers crossed.

Take care my friend. So good seeing you again. 😑 x

Those words are torment for loves ones I know. But it was 6 weeks before I showed signs of progress and still with a long road ahead.

My burst aneurism coiling was more straightforward than your partner's issues as my only complication was encephalitis. So I expect he'll be needing extra recuperation, taking into account the extra issues.

Most organs can't speak for themselves if poorly or damaged.........which isn't a problem, as the patient can verbalize how those organs are functioning/feeling. But for obvious reasons a damaged brain doesn't have a voice so it's left to onlookers to watch, monitor and wait.

My son massaged my hands and talked 'any old' small talk every day ; I swear it brought me to my senses.

Keep strong m'love ; you're doing good by going through the motions of normal life during such an anxious period. We're always here.

Keeping everything crossed for a breakthrough soon...... Cat x

123Bereft
123Bereft in reply to cat3

Thank you.

If it also gives any hope, with my husband home 4.5mths, professionals still stating progress will occur 6mths onwards and that was speaking to the clinical lead researcher 8 days ago.

Are you getting support from occupational health at work and your gp x

I do feel well supported but not seen occ health or GP, thank you for your message, I'm just wishing that time away because I'm missing him so much.

I can understand completely how you are feeling, my husband had surgery for an aneurysm on 22nd may, he then had to have two further surgeries to relieve pressure in the brain and suffered a massive stroke on right side of his brain. He was in induced coma for 2 weeks, and it was at least 3 weeks after they stopped sedation before there was any signs of him still being there. We are now 2 1/2 months in and he is moving his right arm and leg, and some talking.

Everyone I talk to says it’s a waiting game and only time will tell what recovery he will make, but it is like every day is a torture at the moment. Me and my husband have been married 25 years next month,together for 30 and we have always done everything together, he is my best friend, and like yourself my soul mate.

I am sorry that I cannot give you reassurance that things will be okay,but I hope it can give you some comfort that there is someone out there who totally gets how you are feeling. I wish with all my heart that we too,one day soon will be like the seasoned pros on this forum,giving advice to the poor newbies desperately looking for answers.

Take care and all the best x

123Bereft
123Bereft in reply to pozza40

Your situation does seem very similar to mine, I've started thinking that I won't call every day (at least twice) but of course I will. I feel a little reassured, thank you. I'm so grateful that he is still here because the Drs really thought he would die. I went out last night but we weren't much for going out and all the time I was out I was just thinking that I'd rather be having a quiet night in with him Have you been able to visit? I'm going to try my luck later today. My overwhelming thought is that seeing me every day would aid his recovery so much, I hate this covid situation. Your husband sounds like he's getting there, are there small thingsevery day now? I do hope that one day I can give some reassurance to someone who is going through our pain. Take care and thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.

My thoughts are with you. I feel like all I seem to hear is “he’s still very very poorly” or “there has been no change” so I feel your pain. I live in my partners pocket 24/7 and the days just seem so long and lonely don’t they. I hope you are managing to take care of yourself.

The loneliness is hard, I am trying to take care if myself and I have lots of support. It's not the same though is it 😒 Thank you for your message, there is still 'no change'.

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