Change resistant

Hello everyone. My story with UK living continues and i try to close my eyes more often in order not to see the things i dont like here. It is hard to focus on positives and i feel i am becoming depressed. I have never witnessed so much consumerism in my life and i am pretty sure the area i live in is not for me at all. I went today to register in job centre as i remembered that 12 yrs ago when i lived in wales and then scotland this was the way to find a job. It was not possible but the person offered me to signed up for benefits. I would have to wait in a really long queue! I am afraid that with this attitude towards work this country will really struggle if the article 50 is triggered. And i dont want to start conversations on EU or immigration, i want to point i am afraid of the economy and growth because i see really low value and poor quality of service around me. The other day i went to college to ask about digital marketing and the lady i have met was not able to understand that i have MA and therefore it means i have freaking a level. She was going on and on about the need of having a level and it started to annoy me. She asked me do i remember my marks?! How this is more relevant than 6yrs of university? I feel inadequate here.

My company finelly decided not to transfer me from polish branch to uk one because the department im in is being reorganized. I have to look fir a new job. I have been invited to few interviews but i am afraid of communiting and long hours. I can work perfectly from home where i can rest when needed and then catch up with work even late at night or weekend but it seems there is no such flexibility in jobs i have been applying for.

From a good news we adopted a cat. And this was the best thing! We have an adorable lovely cat that nobody else wanted and we are really happy with the advise and help we got from rspca. Our cat (cykor which in polish means yellow-belly) calms me down when i get frustrated or hopeless.

I have also found a great neurologist (polish one in fact) in walton neurology centre and i will be starting rehab and therapy. So far thats it. I dont know how i feel about all that. Maybe i am just change resistant(...) i want to thank you all for nice messages, calls and texts. Im still here just dont always know what to write....

16 Replies

  • It's an unsettling time for you, but you have the intelligence and the freedom to make some really positives changes in your life, maybe even a change of location ? Try this link for great support in finding a new career :-

    Good luck soon. xx

  • that was odd Cat wasnt it ! both exactly 7 mins posts !



  • ;-) :-/ xx

  • Hi Owana, its Jules here,

    Nice to hear from you, although your post does sound as if you are having a difficult time - not helped by some people. Thats not nice, its difficult enough isnt it.

    I hope your rehab helps - mine is continuing and i think something is changing in my life because of it. Clever people these 'brain doctors' !

    I now have 4 cats, they humble me when i am taking myself too seriously sometimes, this forum and the chats i have had with people like you are what keeps me sane, most of the time.

    Much love



  • Hey Jules, my neurologist advised me to get Wii Fit, kind of console game where you can practice your balance. I got one in charity shop as i could not find a new one anywhere (all those xboxex and playstations!) I see value in it but im so bad with discipline these days. Neurologist said i would feel much better with my balance after 2 weeks of using Wii, everyday 30 min. Not much right? But building a routine seems to trouble me. Before inwas much discipilned and organized, now im just ...egh.

    I will try to do it as advised and will let you know how it goes maybe it will help you too. It cost me 40 quid so not so bad.

    Stay in touch!

  • Hi Iwona, not answered you before, but I see you are struggling.

    It's not easy in another country I know, I spent 12 months in Canada many years ago and the home sickness was dreadful, it tends to make you blinkered.

    This country is struggling at the moment, but it is what it is, the opportunities are there but have to be looked for.

    I have a daughter with an Oxford degree who finds it difficult to find the right Employment, competition is very fierce, and I have a son who will graduate in August and who is already aware of the difficulties of securing employment.

    The world does not offer us work, over the years I have held a few positions, ones I considered beneath me and my education but I had to do them to bring money in.

    People offering you assistance to claim benefits are not suggesting a lifestyle choice for you, but a means to keep the wolf from the door until you find employment. Unfortunately there are people who take advantage.

    Just remember you made a choice to move here because you felt it would be better, the choice was yours, and your life choices are yours to take.

    I wish you all the best, hopefully, all will settle soon and you can move forward.

    Take care Janet

  • Thanks Janet. You are right about the choice! I really made one but this was only to live with my husband who has been here so long that he would struggle back in poland more than i struggle here. Im not sure i felt it would be better, i think i knew how it would be for me. All in all i really needed to be with tom. Right now i just have to wait and see :)

  • Hi again, thank you for replying, I worried that I had been a little harsh. I am sympathetic, I would not want to be in your shoes, the waiting and seeing can be so difficult especially when you are ready to embrace your new life.

    Do take care and I hope your job hunting is successful. Janet x

  • Will keep ypu posted ;)

  • Hi iwona,

    I think it might be a better idea to find local employment agencies to assist you with finding work. Register with a few , go in to chat to them and let them look around for you. ( I'm registered with a few and mostly get my work through them).

    If your field of work is more specialised (I certainly don't have am MA) how about looking at the specialist website/journals/magazines for that field ? "Marketing weekly" " human resources international" or whatever ( I've just made those two up , but you know what I mean). For instance, I wouldn't expect my sons with good degrees to find work through the local employment office.

    The other thing that I would say is to approach companies directly. Email your cv to as many people as possible. Nothing like a proactive approach in my opinion. My youngest got a good holiday job this way....and I know a lot of Cambridge companies pick up good staff this way.

    Is there a possibility of "networking" a bit more in your area? Meetup groups ?? ( Google meet ups ? ...I go to our local travel lovers meet up from time to time).

    I think being proactive may help you to help yourself and not always feel at the mercy of others......go on, give it a go....

    Right, I must practice what I preach and do exactly that......just walked out of my latest temp job because of workplace, I'm going to reactivate all of my contacts, update my cv and get back to work soon.

    Good luck ☺

  • What is workplace bullying? I a, very proactive so good there :)

    Im registered with agencies and i get really interesting offers, just cant take them due to communiting and long hours :( feel this is so unfair. How is your job hunt going?

  • I'm going to start again tomorrow ... :-)

    Workplace bullying can take many forms - ignoring, belittling, failing to pass on information, making racist/sexist/homophobic jokes, remarks about size/hair colour/speech impediment etc etc etc

  • Hi Iwona

    Are you on LinkedIn? It is like a professional kind of Facebook (apparently, never used it myself, health too unpredictable to even think about getting the kind of job my qualifications might suggest I should be doing). It might be a good way of networking without having to physically drag yourself round places...

    Cat sounds fab. Always a good move, adopting a cat😊

  • Cat was a great idea and we got such a lovely chap! I am on linked in and i do get some offers,calls etc but i cant take really busy workplace job :(

  • Hi, forgot about linked in !! Also I am registered with places like target jobs, indeed and the local newspaper job pages.....

  • Iwona it is so good to hear from you.

    Looking on the bright side there are lots of good things happening. The cat, therapy, rehab and the chance to start a whole new career.

    I know it's a different post but the photo of you at Southport is lovely. There are lots of great places to explore.

    Love n hugs


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