Permanent Vegetative State

[KittyCass]

Hi,

I’m Kitty. I am new here. My sister has an acquired brain injury, caused 2 years ago by a lack of oxygen to her brain after she had a heart attack.

She’s 40 and we have been told she will never recover.

I would love to talk to anyone who has experience of a family member in a permanent vegetative state.

I’m exhausted by it. I’m worn out and in all honesty, I don’t know how much longer I can carry on with this. I’m devastated by what happened to her and I miss her so much.

Thanks,

Kitty

[Leab2017]

Unfortunately I can’t give any advice on permanent vegetative state but I sort of know the devastation your going through my brother was attacked back in 2017 and suffered a tbi and is still recovering. I just wanted to say try and stay strong I know it’s hard your in my prayers

[cat3]

Dear Kitty, I'm so sorry hearing of your sister's PVS, and she's so young. My ex husband (great pal) had a brain haemorrhage 6 months after mine but, whereas I was lucky to survive, his bleed was catastrophic and after 2years in a minimally conscious state he contracted pneumonia and passed away.

It was pitiful seeing someone so strong and full of life reduced to lying motionless hugging a soft toy and unable to move, eat or speak. And, for our son and daughter, who'd only recently been through the hell of my own touch & go illness, it was devastating.

You will survive this Kitty. But perhaps with some form of therapy, whether counselling or medication, the rawness and gut wrenching can be eased enough to allow a more manageable form of grief to allow some peace. That will come with acceptance.

Letting go isn't unfeeling or disloyal, it's a means of survival. Are you getting any help/support in coping with this tragic loss of your sister as she was ?

Cat x

[JJobb]

Hi kitty. My husband is in a similar state for a year and a half after lack of oxygen to his brain due to excessive blood loss. It will be nice to chat with you personally. Please send me a mail. (email address removed by admin).

[KittyCass in reply to JJobb]

Hi JJobb,

Thanks for responding.

Admin, I’d like to converse with JJobb....how can we do that please????

[KittyCass]

Hi Cat3, yes, I’ve had therapy more or less constantly since it happened. My therapist says it’s more about dealing with the trauma of it than the grief.

I just know I feel so awful because of it all. It’s devastated our parents. She has children and to see them without their mum....well....it’s awful really.

A few of her friends go still to see her but not many....it’s not much of a friendship now.